The Greatest Adventure

The Group & The Self: Individuality & A Sense of Belonging

2011-12-02T03:21:00.002+08:00

Individuality is an ideal loved by most Americans, and flaunting it is welcomed when done by the exceptional. But how individualistic are people, really? You could say Americans stand out as individualists, and I whole-heartedly agree when we're going on American stereotypes. When a culture and legal system is so welcoming of the ideal of individuality, magic can often happen, such as when an artist reaches full bloom, or a charismatic figure moves and motivates the masses in a positive direction.

I had a Chinese student of mine, a young man, native of Jiangxi, give a formal speech recently, as I have all of my students do each semester of Oral English. He went through moving speech about "fear," and how his greatest fear was losing a family member. He told us of a traumatic childhood experience, finding his mother sick and asleep with a bottle of poison in hand, as she had tried to commit suicide. His father got her help and she pulled through. He didn't let on much more about his mother, other than that she is fine now. His speech lasted for about five minutes, followed by fifteen minutes of question asking by myself and his classmates. He ended his time on the stand by writing a Mark Twain quote on the board that read:

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

He asked me why one would think they are so special to question the majority like that. Why would anyone be so exceptional to the majority?

I gave him a simple real-world example of how the majority could be mislead, harking back to the old faithfully ridiculed Adolf Hitler and his manipulation of the German people. Perhaps mentioning the carrying out of several Mao Zedong policies would be a bit too risqué for a university run by the Chinese Communist Party.

I also tried to assure him that the majority is often right, but that charismatic leaders can make a big difference in the lives of those who look up to or fear them. This can apply to entire countries, small villages, classrooms, and private dinners.

This whole topic got me interested in a good ponder. In my experience of growing up and adulthood, people often follow other people, and not ideals. People may have beliefs, but this is often bent or swayed when the most confident person in the room has that kind of power. This is usually most pungent in childhood situations, where you see bullying and the egging on from the kids on the sidelines. I'd say you get the same behavior in a whole lot of adults in this world too, but it's more subdued because we have to act like adults.

Individuality is touted by Americans and loved by those who admire America. That's if we're judging on stereotypes and ideals. Go to most populated parts of America and put a true individualist performer that doesn't have the charm of a star in front of a mixed group of common people and you're sure to get a fair share of criticism, and more likely than not, a rude reaction. But again, that's if we're judging on stereotypes. Take away the face-to-face interaction and you get a situation like on most youtube video comment sections: harsh words and mindless insults.

This brings me a to a bigger sense of self that everyone wants to belong to. Most everyone wants to be a part of a group. This is just human nature and it's not going to go away as long as we're human. We became human by communicating intelligently and developing tribes. We all want that tribe to be on our side, out there protecting us, wrapping us up in a safe bubble. With agriculture, tribes grew into villages, villages grew into cities, a whole bunch of history later, we have nations dominating the world.

In America, nationalism and patriotism were a lot more fashionable back in the day. It started to peter out as the cold war ended and became regarded as something mostly ignorant rednecks and professional wrestling fans lavished in. But maybe that's just another stereotype of what liberal elitists might think.

9/11 gave us a nice patriotism refresh, but just went in all the wrong directions with the proverbial "prison style gang-raping" of our Bill of Rights, the unnecessary warfare, and the seething discrimination of really Muslim looking Muslims. This helps make patriotism unfashionable once again, and the meaning of true patriotism isn't really being put into question by many of those who live it and criticize it, so it will be left in the hands of those who flaunt it the hardest.

This brings me back to tribes turning into nations thing. We really want that tribe back, but how can we do that when we're living in such populous countries with so many unfashionable people? Our solution tends to be finding a category for ourselves. Americans love categories. We love to categorize our ethnic backgrounds when we fill out our college applications. We like to categorize our age groups. We love categorizing things we put in our mouths, especially when they have distinct flavors, from sweet to sour to salty. Categorizing is just so natural when you have to distinguish one thing from another. But how should we really take to categorizing our individuality?

That whole college application thing always rubbed me the wrong way. I'm white and I come from an affluent family, but more so in global per capita terms. This, on paper, isn't going to do me any favors on getting in to college, but hey, I have that great affluent background that's giving me a leg-up. Plus, I'm white. And I'm a male. Sounds like the greatest leg-up a person could ask for. But that's when we're judging on stereotypes.

Not only do I have all of these stereotypically great conditions for myself, I also have an international background, going to an American high school in Tokyo. This puts me in a very international and ethnically mixed environment. I had this when I was at an American elementary school Taipei as well. This environment, along with a good education, assured that I would not have issues of racial discrimination. Everyone to me is a person. I don't like to treat people I meet for the first time much differently whether they are male or female, ordinary or exceptional, black, white, yellow, red, brown, able bodied or not. I find that people like to be treated like people, and I find that I like to treat people like people. I don't like walking on eggshells and I don't like beating the bush either, so I try to avoid it as much as possible.

When I have all of these people that I see as peers getting a leg-up on their college application because of their skin color or even vague ethnic background, I find it rather unfair, and very un-American in the sense of the American ideal of "equality." But of course, international school kids are a very small minority of the ethnic make-up of the pan-American college student-body. But minorities are supposed to matter in America, right?

When you start grouping Americans into ethnic categories, you start to see patterns. You see the Asian minorities excelling in the academic and monetary fields, with Big Whitey as a runner up. And you see blacks and hispanics dominating much of the less desirable fields. History and social conditions need to be taken in to account here. America has a rough history of violent discrimination (including that thing the Confederate Flag represents) and this should never be forgotten. We've come a long way since all of that. Racism and sexism hasn't gone away, but it's dissipated quite a bit.

It's the 21st century. We have role-models in the media of every color, creed, gender, body-type, you name it. We have a black president. We have female CEO's running multi-national companies. A lot of progress has been made. Much of this progress was made through the passionate pursuits of leaders in whatever category that wasn't getting their piece of the pie, or worse, getting their piece of the pie force gagged out of them.

These categories formed for a good reason, just like the idea of American independence formed for a good reason, and like how labor unions formed for a good reason. And like Mark Twain's message recited by my student, maybe this is the time Americans "pause and reflect."

I think most people in America have great opportunities for self-improvement, and who doesn't want self-improvement, really? Most people have some kind of goal they want to achieve or some kind of insecurity they want to overcome. What is something most people need for self-improvement, and even the expression of individuality? They need support.

Support comes from your people. Your group. It could be your family, it could be your friends, your team, your organization, your cartel. Sometimes family isn't enough for people, or their family isn't giving enough, or they may not even have a family. This is when your outside groups are necessary for support. And what's a safer way to have support than having a vague category you can belong to for simply being a certain color, or having a certain sexual organ? This requires no further requirements. It doesn't need the social wit to maintain friendships, the skills required to be on a team, the ideas and know-how needed for an organization, and the boldness of being a drug trafficker.

People like to join these categorial groups because they can identify many basic things about themselves with other members of the group. They can also differentiate themselves from the others who may seem undesirable. Basically, these people have found the tribe they've been missing.

Now that people have categorized themselves and joined a group, they can promote their new identity in many ways. For example, they can talk about how hard it is to be a part of that group. The daily struggle they have, putting up with all the jerk-offs and tyrants who discriminate against them. Then they can also talk about the great things their group provides the world with. They can tout the exceptional talents of their members. They can have a group to call their own and identify with.

Now that they have their tribe, they have shown that they are not of some other tribe who they may find less important or desirable, or maybe they just want to differentiate themselves from others somehow and remain equal. And once you start generalizing or critiquing someone's tribe, you know you're in for a world of trouble if this tribe is extra sensitive. Going on statistical facts, you can say "this," "this," and "this," about my tribe, but you better not dare bring up "this" about my tribe or I'm going to be really offended!

The sensitive tribes are often sensitive because of historical issues tied to modern societal problems. We've seen enough hate and unfairness toward women, blacks, immigrants, etc. But there's other tribes who are sensitive for other reasons. You have the "fat tribe" who is sensitive because they don't like to be called fat and that being fat is generally seen as physically unattractive (I wonder why?). You have the "misunderstood teenager tribe" who is just so misunderstood that they need to act out. There's a lot of tribes out there, and they all have their grievances.

I find that a lot of these non-ethnic-non-gender tribes tend to have grievances that stem from personal insecurities. There's a lot of fat people out there that are comfortable with themselves and don't get so sensitive when their fatness is aware to those around them. They go on with their lives as individuals, and live happily. But then you get these advocacy groups, trying to get more fat roles (tempted to write "rolls") on TV and make being obese sexy. Sorry folks, but being fat is going to be seen by most as physically unattractive because it simply doesn't look good. Moreover, it shows that you are most likely not in shape, perhaps hinting that you don't care too much about your appearance, which people tend to find unattractive, as attractive people tend to care about their appearance to some degree. It also shows that you probably won't live long, which in human biological communication means you ain't sticking around for the family. But the bright side is, there's all of those creepy obese-fetish guys I keep seeing on day-time TV talk show clips. They'll make you feel sexy.

It probably sounds like I hate fat people or something. I used to be fat when I was in middle school, so I've earned my stripes. I will talk freely about being fat just like black folks in America can freely say "nigga." I've seen what "fat tribe" has to offer, and it wasn't for me, so I have made it an effort to not be fat anymore. It's possible without developing an eating disorder, believe it or not.

This brings me to another tribe I could sign up for if I choose. I'm not only a white guy with an affluent background. I'm a balding white guy with an affluent background. Hair loss is a sad thing to see on your own head, and many find it extremely unattractive. A lot of women are quite unforgiving if a man is bald. How could a woman be attracted to a bald man? Well I'm married, so there was at least one. She's hot too, so I'm pretty lucky. And what do I do about my baldness? Have I joined "bald tribe" with the likes of Larry David? I choose not.

I don't think Larry is so serious about the whole bald thing. It's definitely a grievance for him, but look how successful he is. Should the guy really be complaining about it at this point? That kind of indignity he felt made much of what his comedy is to us, so maybe it was a blessing? He's not the kind of guy who would have focused his resources on some kind of bald man advocacy group, and I sure as hell would never do that.

So what's really holding back all of these bald, fat, ugly, big-eared, long-nosed, overly-freckled, abnormally large thighed (another tribe I could join but choose not to), buck-toothed, gap-toothed, stained-tooth, pimple faced, big nostrilled, hairy-backed, easily odorous, sweaty, loud-mouthed, ultra-introverted, spastic, nervous, stupid, willfully ignorant, stank-breathed, overly-extroverted, day-time TV watching people? Probably themselves.

People with some kind of physical or personality characteristic that many may find unattractive are going to have a more difficult time getting ahead in the world. If you're a universally recognized beauty, it will probably be a lot easier, in many fields at least. That's where personality is important for those who are not universally recognized beauties. If you have a personality, people can like you for that. Beautiful people can be liked simply because they are nice to look at and a bunch of people want to have sex with them. Those who are not so universally desirable on the atheistic end have to develop a more desirable interior. How has anyone gotten ahead in the world otherwise if they didn't inherit it or use their physical sex-appeal?

From listening to many people's grievances about being a woman or being a certain ethnicity in this day and age, I find that a lot of the time it's probably more about the way they carry themselves as an individual. And how would a white guy from an affluent background know that? Because I live in China and I get discriminated against for being a foreigner and for being white on a daily basis. I know racism well because I can officially join the "I'm a victim of racism tribe" too. I get the positive racism such as "America is great and so are you!" and "oh you have blue eyes (actually green) and yellow hair (actually reddish brown) and you are so handsome!" to the negative racism such as "you are stupid because you are a foreigner" and "you are stupid because you are an arrogant American" and "[we're talking mad shit about you and we think you can't understand because you're a foreigner] (but I actually do understand Chinese so I know what you're saying you racist lout)" and "you can't come in to this bar because you are a foreigner, and we don't take kindly to foreigners in these parts" and the classic, "foreigners and Chinese have much different thinking and you could never possibly understand China or my Chinese-ness."

I find a lot of the foreigners in China also like to have all sorts of grievances about xenophobia when it's often just their lousy personality traits that bring on the negative reactions they mistake for racism. I see it with many of the foreigners in Nanchang: the negative-Nancy's of Nanchang, the loud-mouths of Nanchang, and the I-sleaze-on-local-girls-way-too-blatantly foreigners of Nanchang. Maybe the discrimination has more to do with their behavior rather than their background.

This reminds of my last semester at Hampshire College in the spring of 2008, when certain people of certain ethnic groups were up in arms about discrimination on campus from certain administrators, and I mean low level administrators as well. Some people in those positions at Hampshire treated me rudely whenever I saw them. I was much more shy and passive back then, so maybe that got on their nerves, and they were just lousy people to begin with, so they were rude to me. Perhaps they weren't so racist after all to those others who were treated rudely. Maybe they were just being rude because they were rude people to begin with. Joke is really on them since they probably lead a pretty miserable life, being rude during their boring day job in a cold landscape such as Massachusetts, only to go home to a spouse who is also presumably rude. But we're back on stereotypes again.

I had ethnic friends at Hampshire, who were actually foreigners rather than Americans, and they had great positive personality traits, and they had absolutely no grievances at this time. This, along with how I was treated by these so-called racists made me pretty skeptical of these grievances at one of the most liberal colleges in the world.

Basically, people who have take up this phony-tribalism need to pause and reflect on what's really going on, and it's time for everyone to look at who they are as an individual. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Don't be in denial about it either. People think it regardless. People might even talk about it behind your back. You ought to just face it straight up and work with what you got. Stay positive, stay motivated, and remember to be an individual when the tribe starts acting funny. Don't let your self-esteem get too low, as this will just lead to being disrespected, which can come in the form of racism/sexism or presumed racism/sexism.

Everyone needs an identity. We have our individualistic characteristics, but we also need that tribal factor that's missing in modern society. We live in too populated a world to have actual tribes for all and maintain peace at the same time. At bottom, we need to belong to something bigger, and there are many groups we can join to have this feeling. It would be prudent for all Americans to look in the mirror and see what's holding them back as an individual before they claim sexism, racism, classism, etc.

Once we put ourselves in groups and come to believe that one group is holding another group back, it's going to make it a lot harder for the group being "held back" to overcome the psychological implications of being "held back." If someone is holding you back, it may seem pointless to even try. Unless you're extremely motivated, especially driven from negative affirmation, then you may not even bother to try and get ahead because some other group is just going to hold you back anyway. Then you might start mistaking discrimination about your individual characteristics as racism, sexism, classism, etc. and just get angry at the world. Another psychological nightmare.

It's time for America to start thinking more individualistically, but at the same time, recognizing that we are actually all a part of something bigger. We share a country in an ever competitive world, and times are changing fast. We are all American and that is something we can be proud of despite our uncouth history. But let's get real here, most of the world has an uncouth history, America is just on top right now (but maybe not for much longer) so it is much more apparent. And although racism and sexism has dissipated, it still exists in America, and to an extent most of us would probably wish was much smaller. But we have to face the reality that as long as people look different, have different sex organs, have different cultural characteristics, there's always going to be some kind of discrimination from the ignorant. The best we can do is regard that kind of discrimination as lowly rude behavior, much like we do with everything else we consider lowly rude behavior.

Aspergers & Autism: Evolution of the Collective Human Psyche?

2011-08-19T22:07:00.002+08:00

If anybody has read the news lately or listened to what's important from elitist celebrities, it's the rise of aspergers and autism. From what I've seen in the news lately, it seems if you're going to have a second child, it's pretty likely they're going to grow up with autism.

Aspergers and autism isn't anything new, but it looks as if it's become a lot more prominent in recent years. Why is this? Are we better at diagnosing it? Is it something in the water? Is our American diet of over-processed food causing the trend? Is that thing about inoculations actually accurate?

There's also a lot of claim that many influential people throughout history had the syndrome judging by their behavior compared to the symptoms of the syndrome. These include Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Mark Twain, Nikola Tesla, Thomas Jefferson, Carl Jung, Andy Warhol, and even Michael Jackson. Many influential people today are also speculated to have aspergers, such as Bill Gates, Woody Allen, and Al Gore.

It's been my belief for several years that it's a human evolutionary trend that causes aspergers and autism. I haven't been that vocal about this because people tend to act weird when you bring up "mental disabilities." And I believe this is because they aren't really exposed to this sort of thing in their everyday lives. At least they're not aware of it.

I have a brother with high-functioning autism. And "mental disability" is not something I would attribute to my brother. In fact, depending how you look at each individual, you could say anyone has a "mental disability." There's egotism, there's addiction, there's neuroticism, there's over-anxiousness about certain things, there's various obsessions that people take up as hobbies. When broken down to how these things affect people's personal lives, all of them could be considered "mental disabilities." Otherwise, we'd be perfect machines working perfectly together in unison. It's these quirks we find in human beings that actually brings about change and evolution.

In my experience, people tend to not understand what it means to be autistic. They read one article or hear one story about it and don't really get a broad enough picture of the whole thing. When you live with someone as close as a brother you're whole life, you don't see a "person with autism," you see a "person." Except this person tends to not go along with many of the social norms we have adapted to growing up in modern civilization. In fact, people with aspergers often tend to be the most straightforward and honest people out there.

Larry David has been lauded for his harsh honesty and straightforwardness that he has exemplified in his works such as Seinfeld and more notably, Curb Your Enthusiasm. He claims to not be like his character from Curb in real life, at least on the surface. This is the person he wishes he could be; the person he is on the inside. The character you see on Curb Your Enthusiasm doesn't hold anything back. If he notices something peculiar or if he has a problem with something, he's going to call it out without regards to anyone's feelings. He wishes he could be like this in real life, yet this is in fact what many people with aspergers and autism are like in their day-to-day lives. What Larry David has that many of these "mentally disabled" people don't have is the charm of a comedian.

But would you feel Larry David is so charming in a face-to-face meet with him if he wasn't famous for some of the most successful comedy in TV history? Depends on your sense of humor, but I reckon many wouldn't appreciate this kind of bluntness. I recall many of the family experiences I've had growing up where I've felt so much shame for my brother's honesty. Where I've just naturally understood some of the social norms that he did not, and instead of diplomatically informing him, I was vehemently critical of his behavior and tried to shame him for it. That I felt so embarrassed for something I didn't do and wanted to punish him for it some how. But looking back at many of these situations, does it really matter if he was that honest and socially unaware in the greater scheme of things? As it happens, he called out a lot of the dickheads we wanted to be closer friends with who were actually nowhere on our side to begin with. He questioned people from the get-go that weren't really going to be supportive of us as friends in the future. His brutal honesty and straightforwardness often had it right all along.

In our current situation in America, we have politician after politician who avoid questions with their talking points and their go-to sensitive issues that make people forget about the question at hand. These are democrats, republicans, tea party members, libertarians, and socialists--they all do it. They want to avoid the truth of things in order to make themselves look better in front of a large audience who probably aren't paying enough attention to realize they just avoided a question that actually has some relevance on where they stand on very real issues. We have folks so ready to fight about the little details of things just because they are divided by party line, that they avoid the straightforward questions and the honesty we need to face in order to progress as a country, or a people as a whole.

Perhaps the human race could use more people that are so blatantly straightforward and honest as those with aspergers and autism. These are vital voices who question the status quo without any worry of shame, as it's in their nature to do so. After growing up with my brother and looking back at all of my experiences with him, he's been so right about many things that were looked down upon by me and others at the time. Perhaps it's this honesty that myself and much of the human race are afraid of.

We have etiquette to protect us from too much honesty. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, except it often goes too far. There's a lot of things I have done that I was not aware of, but if people had been more straightforward with me about (like my brother), I could have saved myself a lot of confusion by being aware of these things and growing from the knowledge of them.

With Earth's growing population that is excepted to reach 7 billion soon, attached with our current global economic system and energy consumption habits, we can not sustain ourselves as a people. There are the extreme-darwinists, who many of which are in the closet, that believe we should weed out the "weak" by letting them die off. They have their plan, but that doesn't go in accordance with the majority of human beings that want to live and prosper. We're a growing population on an island that is becoming smaller and smaller, yet we don't have a plan to sustain our global community.

Yet we do have a plan. At least many of our brightest and most compassionate have come up with plans to sustain the global human race. It's our politics that are getting in the way. it's the lack of honesty and straightforwardness in our politics that are misleading the public. We leave out the facts of the situation if it doesn't support our cause. We avoid the matter at hand to make someone else look bad so we look better in comparison. I would love to see ONE mainstream politician abandon that kind of human behavior so they could actually start a new wave of collective thinking. It seems as if those with aspergers and autism were already leading in this sort of thinking from the get-go.

We've seen that evolution does a lot of strange things to species according to the environment they've been put in. It's also my belief that homosexuality is an evolutionary trend set to cut-down on population, as homosexuals tend not to have their own children. It's just natural that a population as big as the human race will destroy itself as long as it consumes the way it currently does or did in the past. No population of animal ever grows too big because there just isn't enough resources to keep it alive. We couldn't have a population of 7 billion, let alone 1 billion as hunter-gatherers.

Humans have adapted on such a sophisticated level that we have avoided food shortages with agriculture, we have avoided plagues with modern medicine, and we have avoided barbarism with education. We can also avoid our own self-destruction if we can actually address what's important for us as a species in the future and not put petty politics in the way. We can maintain such a large population just as we have for centuries with science and technology along with the compassion and humanism that has gotten us this far already. Why let trivial matters get in the way of that?

Those who speak out against homosexuality tend to have religious backing. I can see where they're coming from when looking at it scientifically, but only very simplistically. Sex between gay men is a lot more risky in spreading disease, which is dangerous for the human race. Except we have modern medicine to combat that, along with the scientific developments that will make us more impervious as long as people care enough to invest in it. And perhaps the gay community can tone down the hedonistic sexuality they often express when we have developing children "in the room," but then again, the same should be said for heterosexuals. Kids really don't need to be growing up thinking it's okay to be philandering around at their age like our TV shows illustrate, but then again, it's just a reflection of where we are right now. Philandering, whether gay or straight, is going to be unhealthy even with protection and modern medicine. Rubbers aren't keeping away herpes or genital warts, are they?

I'm not one to want to limit the actions of consenting adults or one to want to limit what's shown on TV, and I'm especially not one to want to limit those with opposing views, but perhaps we can grow in to a more sensible people to grow out of the situation we're in at the moment. Perhaps it's that brutal honesty we need to evolve as a species.

5 Things to Make America Better, Stronger, Smarter, and Justifiably #1

2011-08-12T01:49:00.001+08:00

Our ever globalizing world is, in fact, making it a flatter environment. We're going to have to compete a lot harder with other nations economically, and we're not ready for it. We're not unified enough to do it, we're not disciplined enough to do it, and most worrying of all, we're mostly not aware of this. Here is a list of propositions to prepare America for the inevitable. A world where we're going to have to work a lot harder and come together a lot more to make anything of ourselves as a nation.

1. Mandatory Military & Survivalist Training For High School Graduates

Though it sounds like a fascist throwback to mandatory conscription, it's really not. Many of our youth in America don't have the discipline to hold on to a simple job, stay out of legal trouble, or finish college. Those who do have the discipline to do those things wouldn't hurt to learn a little more by undergoing military and survivalist training during a summer holiday one year during or after high school.

Youth in America for generations have lived in an environment where alienation is acceptable, where self-reliance is unnecessary, and lack of discipline glorified. Not everyone is a casualty of this environment of course, but bringing our youth together for several weeks of basic training could do wonders for us as a people.

Our youth would feel like one unit during this training; that they are all in it together as equals. All the nonsense social hierarchy in high school will be thrown out the window for these several weeks. Our youth will be challenged in ways many of them though not possible. This would boost their confidence and self-esteem in a genuine way. It would make them look at each other in a different light, at least temporarily eliminating cliques and prejudicial assumptions.

Survivalist training would put our youth in touch with nature and how to use it to survive. Our youth would respect our natural environment after undergoing several weeks living in the wilderness almost self sufficiently. And if the shit ever does hit the fan one day, they would be better prepared to survive in a global catastrophe.

Another thing about this training is that it would force our youth to become fit and in shape. We're becoming fat and lethargic, and that needs to end. Many don't know how to get started when losing the weight, or think it's too late. This would give them no choice but to lose weight and start living a healthier lifestyle.

What we need to start:
We need strong confident leaders ready to whip our kids in to shape. Adults ready to teach self-reliance and discipline. Adults ready to solve problems and teach our youth to rely on themselves to solve problems.

2. Emphasis on Healthy Lifestyle by our Health Care Industry

A healthy populace doesn't sound profitable to our health care industry. This all needs to change. We need to stop relying on drugs to treat our every ailment or annoyance. We need to eat healthier so we have more energy, smaller waistlines, better skin, and cleaner digestive tracts. We need to exercise and get in shape so we're not so chunky, sluggish, and depressed.

I notice that when I see a doctor for being sick, the only dietary suggestion they make is "drink plenty of fluids." Plenty of fluids? Dr. Pepper okay? He's a doctor, right? Why aren't they giving dietary suggestions to make a quick recovery and to prevent the illness from returning? Why aren't they suggesting we avoid heavily processed foods? Why don't they recommend more fresh fruit and vegetables? This would vastly improve the health our nation, yet they don't do it.

Why are there so many drugs for every little thing? Depression is very treatable with exercise, good diet, and active changes in attitude. Erectile dysfunction is very treatable by the same thing. Same with sleeping disorders. Same with weight problems. Same with many skin conditions. Our doctors should be turning to these three solutions before drugs.

A healthy population could be disastrous for our private health care industry, but screw 'em. A unhealthy population is much worse in the long run for all of us as a country. We need our people to be mentally and physically capable to compete in the world, and good health is where that begins.

What we need to start:
I know government health care is a dirty word, but some prudent government interference in the industry is necessary. They don't need to take it over completely, but they need to play their part in making our nation healthier.

3. Emphasis on Critical Thinking in Education

A healthy population will make a strong population, but we need the brains as well as the brawn. I find too many people so faithful of the system without questioning the corruption or possibilities of corruption. Too many people willing to listen to biased news without examining it for what it is and looking at all the angles. Too many people so subservient to our government that is stripping away our rights in the name of hypothetical security.

How can any true American support the Patriot Act? This is the exactly what our Founding Fathers and revolutionary brothers and sisters were fighting against. What is the point of being the United States of America when we're tossing away the Bill of Rights, the document that so clearly defines our culture and way of life. Meanwhile, President Obama resigns the thing this year without barely a peep from the media. Why aren't more Americans as upset as I am about this?

What we need to start:
We need education to put more emphasis on critical thinking so our people can learn to read between the lines. So our people can see beyond all the fear mongering we're bombarded with on a day to day basis. So we ask more questions rather than shutting them down in the name of false-patriotism.

4. Emphasis on Math and Science in Education

We're falling behind in the world in math and science. China's population is over four times our size and they crush us in this arena. We're generally better than them in thinking outside the box, but we also need to excel in math and science in order to stay on top in the high-tech sector. We need the inventive minds as well as the know-how to create such inventions.

Right now, the world economy depends on high-technology to grow. If we want our country to thrive, we need to be the purveyors of high-tech. We need to be inventing things that change the world in a positive way. We need to get on top of renewable energy so our world politics aren't so tied down by depending on foreign nations for our energy needs. Nations where much of their people hate us.

What we need to start:
Our schools need to create more incentives for studying math and science. There is so much emphasis and reward for sport, and there's nothing wrong with that. We just need to also focus our energies and resources in this area as well. More mathlete competitions with higher rewards. More science competitions with higher rewards. More teachers with the ability to connect with their students and make these subjects more accessible and interesting.

5. Emphasis on Money Management

We are superb debt accumulators. Our government overspends and our general population overspends. The Chinese government recently stated that we need to live within our means, and they are absolutely right. Doesn't mean we have to follow them by example, we just need to get in touch with the common sense of managing our money properly.

The first several weeks of entering college in 2004, I get dozens of credit card offers. Why does a college student need so many credit cards? I don't want to restrict business, but something has to be done about the incredibly easy access there is to credit. Easy credit means easy debt accumulation. And add college drinking habits into the equation, and one more drink or one more "whatever" on that credit card doesn't seem like a bad idea.

College really plays into the topic when talking about much bigger debts. College costs so damn much, it puts our youth in serious debt right when they're ready to join the work force, often not getting the glamorous jobs they thought would. Not sure where to go here, but something has to be done about the cost of higher education for our own good as a nation.

Where to start:
Economics and money management needs to be taught as a mandatory subject in middle school and high school education. Students need to understand how the greater economy works and they need to understand how to manage their own money in this global economy. Otherwise, we're in for debt crisis after debt crisis and an eventual complete lack of credit, collapsing our country from the inside out.

These five things are a good start for making our country better, stronger, smarter, and justifiably #1. I think morality is a major point that needs to be emphasized in our current situation, but it's a very subjective subject. It's hard to create government solutions for this, and it's really on the parents to teach this sort of thing. Whatever your creed or lack thereof; Jesus Christ, Gautama Buddha, Confucius all had some pretty good ideas going for them.

It's Wake Up Time America

2011-08-08T08:15:00.001+08:00

It's time we wake up, my fellow Americans. It's time we stop blaming each other for our collective problems. It's time we stop and listen to each other and find a constructive path to take us to the greatness we can achieve. It's time we stop letting the corruptive powers pit us against each other in a game of red guys versus blue guys. It's time we take back our Constitution and Bill of Rights from the jackals that are mangling it and carry out what's been written in those documents that defines our culture as Americans. It's time we dismantle the American Empire and look inward to bring the American Republic to the heights that it can attain. It's time we lead by example, rather than demand out of self-interest. It's time for the United States of America to be reborn in the 21st century and achieve the legitimate #1 status we often claim to hold.

I'm not trying to patronize you, America. I'm not suggesting we be apologetic for all of our many sins. I mean for us to turn over a new leaf, to start over fresh, and to let sleeping dogs lie.

We, the American people, have been mislead for decades. We have been mislead by our own leaders. Our government and our business leaders. The powers that be have embraced greed over country that has brought us to the very situation we're in now. Pride over practicality that is further dividing us with dogmatic political ideology rather than pragmatic leadership. War over peace that is destroying the lives of not only our soldiers, but their families, let alone the countless souls abroad our government writes off as collateral damage.

Our dysfunctional two-party political system that has been bought by big business needs to answer to the American people.

This big government that spends frivolously on maintaining Empire and large-scale warfare that has time and time again done no one any good.

This big business, or as they liken themselves, "the job creators," demands we maintain their historically low taxes for what? So they can do what they allegedly do best? Create jobs? Do they mean expanding their tentacles overseas to hire foreign workers who will work for less than what our own illegal immigrants will work for? Is that what we want our job creators to do?

Shall we continue to let the lobbyists control Washington, so that our purple mountain majesties above the fruited plain resemble the wastelands imagined in everyone's mind of hell? So that our food becomes less like food, so that our children grow into fat cancerous shells of human beings?

Our country is on a path of self-destruction, and our leaders are either unaware or apathetic to the situation at hand. We have let ourselves be manipulated by the powerful super-rich who have self-serving agendas. The capitalistic system they have sold to us, where by default, only the few can achieve the American Dream isn't taking us to where we thought it would. The riches aren't trickling down as projected. The globalist capital holders will try and stomp anyone who tries to reach their level by any means necessary.

They seduce us with the dream of living in their gluttony, and will easily use that power of seduction to pit the middle-class against the poor, to make the red guys bite the blue guys, and to eventually turn us into a couple of desperate mangy dogs who will devour each other for the last edible source we can find.

It's time we wise up to their tactics and bring the bite to them. They have sold our jobs to slave-like workers in the third world. They have collaborated with our government, the World Bank and others like them to bankrupt developing countries into serving our thirst for oil. And worse, they, along with our government, have sold war after war to us in the name of freedom and democracy in order to make themselves rich, while our soldiers come home disfigured, disturbed, or in body bags, and their battlefields left in rubble smeared in the blood of innocent lives. And for what? So they can rebuild these war zones with their own contractors for their own personal gain?

They become rich by destroying and rebuilding foreign lands and by pillaging resources from these lands. We continue to see our energy costs totally dependent on these factors, when we could instead be investing in something sustainable, local, and clean.

Why did the Bush Administration decide to invade Iraq when it clearly had no ties to Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden?

Why did Halliburton, the World's second largest oilfield service corporation, who was presided by Dick Cheney before he became Vice President to Bush, get awarded a 7 billion dollar contract to go to work in Iraq after the war?

Why did the Bush Administration award the Bechtel Corporation, America's largest engineering company, with the first major contract in the reconstruction of Iraq?

Why is it such a coincidence that two of Bechtel's top dogs, George P. Shultz and Caspar W. Weinberger, also worked for President Ronal Reagan and Vice President George H.W. Bush as their Secretary of State and Secretary of Defense?

Why did the Bush Administration put one of Bechtel's chief executives, Riley P. Bechtel, to serve on the President's Export Council?

Why did the Bush Administration specifically seek out the demise of Venezuelan leader, Hugo Chavez, who had protectionist policies on Venezuela's oil-fields, when there were so many other dictators out there reigning with an iron fist?

Why did President H.W. Bush bomb and invade Panama in the late 80's just to take out one unruly dictator, while hundreds if not thousands perished, while again, there are plenty more dictators in the word with similar traits?

Why were so many right-wing dictators (who make Chavez and Noriega seem like humanitarians) supported by our own American government in the name of anti-communism during the Cold War?

Why did such deceitfulness like the Gulf of Tonkin Incident lead us into a war to nowhere in Vietnam?

Why did President George W. Bush sign the Patriot Act, a law that pisses on our Bill of Rights by taking away some of our most essential rights as Americans, that we hold as the pinnacles of our freedom and culture?

Why did President Barack Obama sign the extension on the Patriot Act this year, when he was supposedly going to represent "change" from the direction Bush took our country?

Why was President Obama awarded a Nobel Peace Prize while maintaining two wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Why has Obama brought us in to a third war by bombing Libya, when again, there are plenty more dictators out there, and plenty more anti-government movements going on in the Arab world?

Why has our congress made such little progress in the past couple years when we have China catching up to us economically with their openly tyrannical government?

The more our citizens and government bicker pettily and don't get anything done, and the more we waste on warfare, and the more we sell our souls to big business and their self-serving deregulation and globalization motives, the deeper our country sinks in to a hole we won't be able to dig ourselves out of.

Meanwhile, we have China on the rise, and the whole World is beginning to look up to them. We had the whole World look up to us before, and those tides are turning. Should we let a country with an illegitimate oligarchy that tyrannically controls its people and business be the model for success? Is that what we already are?

It's wake up time, America.

Alex, The Promoter: Women's Day Special

2011-03-11T14:19:00.003+08:00

Been a while since Alex has sent me a worthwhile promotion. But on Women's Day this week, he left me a gem.

Today is March 8,beauty girl day, today,a good reward her or him!Tonight our Ship bar & AD698 specifically designed the hot mysterious "Ladies power party " for you,enjoy the privilege and luxury gift,Miss drink

Electro Showing Its Face In American Popular Music

2011-02-03T07:08:00.002+08:00

About a year ago I noticed a shift in American popular music. David Guetta released that song with Akon, “Sexy Chick.” Though in my opinion, not a very good song, it became a hit with radio play for months. And an Electro House hit at that, but catered to the Hip Hop/R&B crowd. Three 6 Mafia followed with another Electro song, but with Tiesto on the track. Not quite as successful as “Sexy Chick,” it had a similar sound that Americans could start getting used to. 2010 was the year that welcomed Electro House into American pop music.

Lady Gaga may have been the first sign of this shift. “Just Dance” and “Poker Face” had a distinct dance music sound, but not quite Electro House. We’ve heard this sort of thing before when Madonna was making tracks like that about ten years ago. But Electro is a distinct sub-genre that’s remained quite popular in the club scene for some time. Electro grew to great popularity in the mid-2000’s internationally, with its ground zero in Europe. I thought it might have a novel appearance in American popular music at best, and “I’m In Miami Bitch” by LMFAO would have been one of these novelties, but over the past year its grown to be one of the quintessential sounds of popular music this turn of the decade, though more watered down and pop-formulaic than its European mother.

Lady Gaga and Katy Perry started this “outrageous female singer” trend that’s going strong into 2011. Ke$ha reared her face in the scene about a year ago as well with “Tik Tok,” which utilized the Electro sound as well as a healthy dose of Auto-Tune. Her hits in that followed, “Blah Blah Blah,” “Your Love Is My Drug,” and “Take It Off,” all from her album, Animal, followed in suit. And her current hit, “We R Who We R” continues this pattern. Britney Spears even had an Electro sounding song in late 2009 with “3,” and is now rocking the sound better than most with her new hit, “Hold It Against Me.”

In the Hip Hop/R&B front, the Electro sound is continuing to become very prominent. The Black Eyed Peas have been leaning towards a more club/dance sound since their 2005 Monkey Business album. “I Gotta Feeling” and “Boom Boom Pow” took it further. Both tracks were off The E.N.D. album, which shows that they were ahead of the game using the Electro sound, when “Imma Be” (which started out with a slower Hip Hop sound that evolved into Electro towards the end) became a hit a year ago as well. Then “Rock That Body” made the charts during the summer of 2010, which was basically straight up Electro House with no watering down whatsoever. They continued this trend in their next album, The Beginning, with the late-2010 hit “The Time (Dirty Bit).” The track was a pop-throwback and dirtier sounding Electro amalgam, which European Electro artist Deadmau5 claimed plagiarism of his own work. Regardless of the validity of the accusation, it further popularized his music along with the Black Eyed Peas track.

Electro music actually branched out from Hip Hop, when it was created in the late 1970’s. Afrika Bambaataa’s 1980’s classic, “Planet Rock” is probably the most recognizable of the genre. Even Dr. Dre was making that kind of music with the World Class Wrecking Crew throughout the 80’s. Just check out pictures of him from that era and his Gangsta aesthetic just melts away. A lot of Puerto Rican artists hopped on the genre in the 80’s and made it their own, known as Freestyle. It persisted even into the late-90’s with Rockell’s Freestyle hit, “In A Dream.”

It brings a smile to my face that the sound is re-emerging in Hip Hop/R&B. For the past several years, all the tracks seem to be so slow and hi-hat heavy, that I wonder how people have that much fun dancing to it, unless they’re all sipping syrup. That kind of Hip Hop is great for the car and the strip club, but what about the dance floor? The Hip Hop these days is definitely making it a lot more fun out there.

The Far-East Movement came out with a pretty rocking Electro Rap track in 2009 with “Girls On The Dance Floor,” but it didn’t see much play outside of the clubs. “Like A G6” really put their name out there in the Fall of 2010 when they reached the top of the charts, along with collaborators Dev and The Cataracs. Since, Dev and The Cataracs put out their own single, “Bass Down Low,” which had a similar sound. The Cataracs have just released a song with Snoop Dogg called “Wet,” and though not an Electro track, we’ll probably see a lot more from them this year.

Flo Rida has always had a very club/dance friendly sound, with beats ranging from 120 to 130 bpm. And now he too has worked with famed European Electro artist, David Guetta, on the track “Club Can’t Handle Me.” His new Electro influenced track with Akon, “Who Dat Girl,” which has only peaked at 29 on Billboard’s Hot 100 will probably become a bigger hit in the next month or so. Perhaps the music industry overlords are waiting for the most strategic time to put it on the top.

Usher changed up his style a lot in 2010 and is banking off of this new Electro trend. “OMG” reached massive popularity during the summer. It seemed highly unenthusiastic to me, but the Electro effect was in full effect and watered down as to be expected. “So Many Girls,” which wasn’t quite as successful as “OMG” had a more authentic sound to it. And later in 2010, Usher’s track with Pitbull, “DJ Got US Falling In Love Again,” maintained that Electro cut with baking soda sound.

Pitbull, of course, plays a big role in this emerging new sub-genre of Hip Hop/R&B, albeit being a Reggaeton artist. He, like Flo Rida, has always had a club/dance sound, and he put the Electro in full effect with 2009’s “Shut It Down” featuring Akon. His latest cheese ball hit with T-Pain, “Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor)” continues the style. Taio Cruz, though not an American (or Puerto Rican), has attained a lot of popularity throughout the past year in the States, and he too is thick in the sound with tracks like “Break Your Heart” which featured Ludacris, “Dynamite,” and “Dirty Picture” which featured Auto-Tune Electro-Pop princess, Ke$ha.

Another non-American singer who has gained much popularity in the States recently is Enrique Iglesias, who I haven’t really heard anything from since that “Bailamos” song back in the late-90’s. “I Like It” featuring Pitbull was pretty Electro and heavily Auto-Tuned, and his latest hit, “Tonight (I’m Lovin’ You)” which features Ludacris, retains the flavor.

Chris Brown really surprised me this winter with his latest hit, “Yeah 3X.” It’s pretty much an uplifting Electro House track catered to American listeners in lyrical content. I think this is the track, along with Enrique’s two latest hits, that will really incorporate Electro House into American popular music. Get ready for more tracks like this to follow the pattern.

The reason this all excites me is that I’ve been waiting for Electronic Dance to become a standard form of American popular music, like Hip Hop did over ten years ago. You would think it would have earlier with many popular artists experimenting in the sound in the late-80’s and into the 90’s, but it has never really stuck. Now, with so much saturation of the sound on the radio and in music television these days, it is sure to inspire a whole new generation of artists. Music software has enabled anyone with a laptop to create a home studio, and e-piracy will even ensure the poorest kid with a laptop to start experimenting. This trend has enabled Hip Hop acts like Soulja Boy Tell’em to become popular in recent years, so why not a whole onslaught of singers with Electronic Dance music backing next? I have a feeling this new decade is going to be very club-friendly.

Alex, The Promoter: Anniversary Party 2011

2011-01-18T20:49:00.009+08:00

Alex sent me this message today. Shame I won't be able to make it. I'm wondering which Chinese pop stars will allegedly be there. Where are they putting this sports car? Field?

Ups and downs, Universal ShipBar & AD698 on the way to grow your companionship, On January 20,the anniversary of our bar 2,female stars of Chinese pop music ,the field's top sports car party,more mysterious surprise gift waiting for you to come and collect!

Alex, The Promoter: The Beginning

2011-01-18T20:35:00.007+08:00

Nanchang has a lot of night clubs, and most of these night clubs are almost identical in style. One stands out, at least in its appearance outside. This, dear readers, is the Universal Ship Bar. Smack in the middle of Nanchang, a giant pirate ship sits with a booming disco inside. And anyone who goes to the Ship must know Alex, Ship Bar's go-to promoter and professional drinker of your alcohol, as he warmly ganbei's with all of his customers with the booze they buy. (NOTE: Ganbei is sort of like a Chinese "cheers," but more of a cheers and chug, since it literally means dry glass). Alex is probably now best known for his interesting promotional texts for events at the Universal Ship Bar and Bar A.D. 698, which is next door. This unbelievable text inspired me to start this blog segment. Enjoy.

Laugh every day life more wonderfu] Two lovers gazing at each other in the ShipBar, the man said with deep feeling: You're so sweet, I want to eat you. The girl said: I also want to eat you. Stood by the table's waiter coughed, and asked: what do you need to drink?

2011: New Adventures

2011-01-18T20:31:00.003+08:00

To my dear, but few, readers:

You've probably noticed that I haven't posted in a long time. You've also probably noticed how I stopped documenting my travels. Maybe I'll start doing that again, but The Greatest Adventure isn't going to be consistent in theme at all. There'll be more music industry commentary, commentary on other trends, and a new bit I'm going to do called Alex, The Promoter.

love, Nathan

Auto-Tune Forever

2010-07-15T21:52:00.004+08:00

2008 was no doubt the year of Auto-Tune. Since T-Pain’s 2006 hit release of I’m N Luv With A Stripper, I had heard Auto-Tune gradually emerge in the popular music scene, mostly through the voice of T-Pain himself, but also a few others. 2008 rolled in with a plethora of Auto-Tuned tracks, performed by artists all throughout the Hip Hop and R&B arena, and also into some other genres. With so much saturation of one unique sound, it was bound for backlash, and that came as soon as 2009. It’s still routinely heard on the radio this year, but what about the future of Auto-Tune?

Hip Hop has been a part of my life since I can remember. I didn’t always like it. Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre were household names in the early 90’s, at least in my neighborhood, but I still didn’t listen to them until I got older. Perhaps it was even as early as middle school when the musical style started to grow on me, with interesting acts such as Busta Rhymes and some of the underground groups like Blackalicious. I never took mainstream Hip Hop too seriously, and I often hated on it throughout high school, despite the fact that everyone was sternly into it. Then the mainstream stuff really started to grow on me after I started dancing to it, but that may be owed to the acceptance of grinding, where a teenage boy could get a whole lot of excitement from a girl with no shame in front of everyone in a club or school dance. I still love the mainstream stuff now, but more often than not, it’s for the same reason I like to watch professional wrestling. The dramatics, the flashiness, the phony machismo. It’s simply entertaining and with no doubt, hilarious.

Hip Hop’s popular sounds have always been evolving and recycling. The Crunk sound seemed to take over following the success of Lil Jon & The Eastside Boys in 2003 with Get Low. 2005 and 2006 stuck out to me as a time when underrepresented sounds in the Hip Hop world came into the main stage. First off was Houston’s unique flavor of Hip Hop, which notoriously includes Screw music.

Chopped-N-Screwed, Screwed-N-Chopped, Sliced-N-Slowed, Slowed-N-Throwed. Whatever you want to call it, it involves slowing down records to a low bpm and throwing in some mixes and blends and other forms of turntabalism to give a real slow and spaced out sound, going hand in hand with the popularity of sipping prescription codeine based cough syrup recreationally in Houston. DJ Screw pioneered the sound in the 90’s, and it continued locally until it reached the entire nation with 2005’s Still Tippin’ by Mike Jones, Slim Thug, and Paul Wall.

With Crunk’s persistent success and the mainstream’s recognition of Screw music, it was only a matter of time that the Hyphy movement seek popular recognition. The Oakland Bay Area’s veteran rapper and slang-banger, E-40, pushed for this movement’s acknowledgement with 2006’s Tell Me When To Go featuring Oakland associate rapper Keak Da Sneak.

It wasn’t long for these two distinct styles to fade out of the limelight. 2007 was dawn to yet another era, bringing in more electronic music based sounds into the world of Hip Hop and R&B. T-Pain released his second studio album, Epiphany, that summer with several hits on radio play well into 2008. Akon’s mutual interest in this new sound brought in even more hits of the same fashion. You could say that this was a mere revival of the talk box sound that was made popular in the 1980’s by artists such as Zapp & Roger, and its later revival in 1995’s California Love by 2pac and Dr. Dre; but this robotic voice sound has stepped into a more sophisticated age, where artists and sound engineers can experiment further than was possible before.

There seems to be little awareness to how much Auto-Tune is actually used in the music industry. Regardless of the formal software, techniques have been used in studios to alter the tune and tone of singers for decades now. It’s just more blatant now that Auto-Tune itself is being used as an instrument, where one’s voice is clearly altered and artificial sounding. Studios don’t always have the time to record so many takes of one song so long as the mistakes are at a minimum. Techniques like speeding the tape up were used in more primitive times, but nowadays, Auto-Tune is used in just about all music that is heard on the radio.

Auto-Tune began to be more clearly used as an instrument around 2002 and 2003 in the Dancehall scene, which can most notably be heard in songs like Beenie Man’s Dude and T.O.K.’s Gal You Ah Lead. T-Pain used the sound more subtlety in I’m N Luv With A Stripper than you may recognize in his later songs; and thanks to T-Pain, by the end of 2007, the sound was in the consciousness of the entire nation with hits such as Bartender, Buy You A Drank, and Chris Brown’s Kiss Kiss.

I was working at a Chinese restaurant in Amherst Massachusetts, doing deliveries to UMass on a snowy winter night in early 2008 when I turned on the radio to hear Lil Wayne’s Lollipop for the first time. Although given the unsophisticated nature of the song, it blew me away so to speak, and left me wanting more Auto-Tune, and especially more Auto-Tune coming from Wayne himself. By springtime of that year, I was even hearing G-Unit utilizing Auto-Tune for the “T-Pain Effect” on their release of Rider Pt. 2.

The reason I started this blog was to document the road trip I took out in the American West with two of my best high school buddies in June of 2008. We rented a mini-SUV from Thrifty in San Francisco, and by pleasant surprise, the vehicle came equipped with Sirius Satellite Radio. We kept it tuned to Hot Jamz (now known as The Heat on channel 50), the popular Hip Hop/R&B station, where a deluge of Auto-Tuned voices beat on our eardrums.

Another hit from Lil Wayne’s The Carter III, Got Money featuring T-Pain, had both Wayne and Pain going hard on the Auto-Tune with constant radio play all that summer. The next song we might have heard on the radio was Yung Berg’s The Business featuring Casha; a thug love duet, all of course, in an extreme state of Auto-Tune. The remix to Lollipop with an Auto-Tuned Kanye West might have come on after that, followed by Rick Ross’s The Boss with T-Pain, and then perhaps I Luv Your Girl by The Dream, which uses a much smoother form of the so called “T-Pain Effect.”

Snoop Dogg surprised me that year with Sexual Eruption (or Sensual Seduction), a fast paced club track with an overwhelming use of Snoopy singing in Auto-Tune. There was also a nice Auto-Tune surprise in Young Jeezy’s Put On, which also featured Kanye using the effect, like in some sort of prelude to 808’s & Heartbreaks. T-Pain and Wayne wrapped up that summer with their sugar daddy anthem, Can’t Believe It, where again, the two complement each other with their different interpretations of the sound.

2008 also seemed to be the year I heard about strippers in music a little too often; yet another trend brought on by 2006’s I’m N Luv With A Stripper. Strip-Hop, if you will, seemed to blend perfectly with Auto-Tune, most noteworthy being Baby Bash’s Cyclone with T-Pain, and yet another T-Pain feature, She Got It by 2 Pistols, and arguably as well as Flo Rida’s Low which also features Pain. Dolla’s Who The Fuck Is That and Three 6 Mafia’s Lolli Lolli (Pop That Body) also subsume the blend of strip club themes and T-Pain’s glorious use of Auto-Tune on the chorus.

Some say Kanye West took it too far, making an entire album in Auto-Tune with 2008’s 808’s & Heartbreaks. Kanye’s rapping style has always bored me. His production has done no less than impress me, so when he replaces his mundane flow with some Auto-Tuned singing, I find his music to be a lot more tolerable.

2009 welcomed even more Auto-Tuned bangers. At this point it was like everyone was doing it. Still though, the Auto-Tune headliners seemed to be the usual suspects: T-Pain, Akon, Lil Wayne, and Kanye West. 2009 also proved that Auto-Tune isn’t necessarily easy and can be done wrong, prime example being Ron Browz on tracks like Jumpin’ Out The Window and Pop Champagne featuring Jim Jones. I do enjoy Pop Champagne, but his style is a little too monotone for Auto-Tune. DJ Webstar seemed to make the same mistake with his release of Dancin’ On Me, also featuring Jim Jones, which sounds almost identical to Browz’s take on the style.

T-Pain came back with some new tracks of his own in 2009, like the bittersweet Chopped ‘N’ Screwed featuring Ludacris. He was also featured on some of the heaviest Hip Hop and R&B tracks of the year like Jamie Foxx’s Blame It, Maino’s All of the Above, and DJ Khaled’s Out Here Grindin’. And who can forget The Lonely Island’s I’m On A Boat? Probably the best goofy white-boy satire of Hip Hop ever created. The SNL trio executes rap clichés to a T, and the best part is that it’s not a direct parody of any particular song. T-Pain on the hook reinforces the clichés of the time, and he does a hell of a job making fun of his own style.

All the while, Lil Wayne brought Auto-Tune to his own record label, Young Money, on quite possibly the most addictive track of 2009, Every Girl, where everyone on the song employed the technique to the max. Drake, or Jimmy from Degrassi as I like to call him, debuted on Young Money in 2009 with another Auto-Tune summer jam of the year, Best I Ever Had.

Bringing Auto-Tune out of the Hip Hop/R&B spectrum and into the pop/dance scene, the Black Eyed Peas introduced I Gotta Feeling and Boom Boom Pow. Flo Rida’s Available, another dance friendly track applied Auto-Tune to its female vocals. Then, Lil Wayne introduced another side of himself with his new rockin’ persona, continuing his Auto-Tune techniques with a rock twist on Prom Queen.

By this time, I had heard many complaints about Auto-Tune. I, in no way agreed, but people seemed to think that there was this cheapened lack of talent involved in using the technology. But it’s used in such a blatant, distorted style, that why would anyone be fooled that it’s the artist’s authentic voice? Like I said before, Auto-Tune is used on just about everything on the radio, but it’s hardly noticeable because it’s used in the way it was intended, and not as an instrument. And regardless, when was the last time a radio-friendly artist sounded anything like they do on the album when they perform live? Sound engineers will lay down forty tracks of vocals over each other to get the sound they want for a chorus or even a regular verse.

It was Jay-Z who had to “call out” Hip Hop on Auto-Tune, with his late-2009 release of D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune). I guess he was getting tired of hearing every artist try it out, and perhaps it was too late for him to jump on the bandwagon. Jay-Z prides himself on being an innovator in the scene and for “calling the shots,” like ending certain fads, the next here being Auto-Tune. But I say shame to Jay-Z! He’s not in on the fun and perhaps he legitimately doesn’t like the sound, but why be such a bossy prick about it? Because you want people to remember your significance? Jay-Z has had some good tracks and albums for that matter in his day, and in fact, some of my favorite Hip Hop songs include some of his collaborations with The Nepunes, Timbaland, and Jermaine Dupri. But that’s as late as 2003, and he hasn’t impressed me with anything since then. His voice has never been all that nice or cool sounding. His lyrical content can be clever, but I can really care less when it’s in such a boring, repetitive styled flow like in Empire State of Mind. He can thank Alicia Keys’ for making that song somewhat tolerable. He claims to be some sort of modern day Frank Sinatra, but pales in comparison in actually sounding good. Sure, he can memorize hundreds of verses and not write a thing down, but who really cares when it comes out flat. Hell, Auto-Tune would probably help the guy. I just hate that he still try’s to call these shots and that people still ride his [lap] and listen to him. I’m still hearing Auto-Tune in a lot of the music coming out this year, so all in all, maybe he just wanted the petty satisfaction of being the first to call it out publicly.

Ke$ha, gaining great popularity this year, has employed Auto-Tune flagrantly with her chart topping hit, Tik Tok, and some other songs such as Blah Blah Blah, Your Love Is My Drug, and Boy Like You. Catchy tracks, but her voice can be quite obnoxious, which I fear will bring down Auto-Tune with it when she fades from popularity. This of course, might only apply to the pop music arena, so perhaps the party will continue in Hip Hop, R&B, and electronic dance styles. Still this year and late-2009, Trey Songz’ Say Ah, Birdman’s Money To Blow, Snoop Dogg’s Gangsta Luv, and Lil Wayne’s On Fire have done quite well on the charts. Not to mention the release of Lil Wayne’s Auto-Tuned rock album, Rebirth. T-Pain even released a short cartoon film titled Freaknik on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, about a mythical singer/rapper whose voice is most always in Auto-Tune.

Although the style may begin to fade in the U.S. by the end of this year, it’s already spread overseas, explicitly gaining popularity in Korea in 2009. Tons of K-Pop tracks are all ‘Tuned out nowadays. Brown Eyed Girls’ Abracadabra, SHINEE’s Ring Ding Dong, ZE-A’s Mazeltov, and 2NE1’s Fire just to name a few. (And damn, I did not realize just how gay K-Pop is after watching the videos for both Ring Ding Dong and Mazeltov. Is this a lady-boy contest?) As these things go in Asia, what’s popular in Korea and Japan will gain popularity in China. Already, Taiwan’s boy-girl group, Dance Flow, has caught on to the trend, releasing Come On! Come On! this year. Now it’s the Mainland’s turn, so hold your breath.

Auto-Tune isn’t for everyone, but its distinct style has permeated the music industry in the past few years. It’s already peaked, but the style remains in many songs this year, mostly on the hook. I don’t see T-Pain going away anytime soon, and I can’t imagine his career being successful without the effect. But then again, when’s the last time you heard Nate Dogg on a Billboard Top 10 Hip Hop/R&B chart? Hip Hop’s hook-masters have to be retired eventually. Pharrell is hardly featured anymore, and it wasn’t that long ago when he was a commonly heard on the hook, especially when he was already producing the track as the Neptunes with his buddy Chad.

I remember in the 90’s, even as a child, hearing synthesizers in the 80’s style would always make me giggle, thinking it was so cheesy. Perhaps Auto-Tune will meet the same fate soon. I love 80’s synth now, and it’s definitely made a comeback, so fortunately, Auto-Tune could have a similar prospect if it becomes passé in the near future. But perhaps it won’t become passé anytime soon. Distortion on the guitar hasn’t gone anywhere, and this is arguably the same type of effect, just used in a more programmed method for the voice. And I really hope it does remain, because I still can’t get enough robotic voices in my music. I say Auto-Tune forever!

Middle School Life In Nanchang

2010-05-14T17:30:00.001+08:00

I’ve been tutoring a 3rd year middle school student (equivalent to a 9th grader in the U.S.) for a couple months down here in Nanchang, and it’s been great. He’s a very bright kid who has a very bright future ahead of him. His English is quite good, and he is set to start at a prep school in Maryland this summer. I’ve been further introducing him to American culture and upping his academic vocabulary so he’ll be more prepared when starting his American high school career. And the money is quite nice of course too.

We were having a light conversation about his day at school on Wednesday, and he said how much fun he had playing cards in computer class. I giggled, then asked if he had been screwing around on solitaire or hearts on the computer, but the response was, “no, we hardly even turn on the computers during computer class, we were playing with a deck of cards.” Apparently, the computers are so bad that they rarely use them. They tend to just do whatever they want in this class, including ducking out of it to play basketball outside. I further inquired about any other useless wastes of time he experiences on an average day of school, and what I found was shocking.

Music class: the teacher allows a student to bring a USB flash drive with popular music and they just sit there and listen to it until the class is over, quietly.

Politics class: the teacher lectures about certain Chinese policies like the One-Child Policy and so on, while they listen or space out and aren’t allowed to participate in any discussion of it. And when time comes for the examination, they are allowed to use their textbooks, and most of their exam consists of underlining important sentences. My student also complained that when he listened to the teacher and studied, he got a 60% on the exam, but another time when he didn’t listen to the teacher or study, he got an 80%.

Chemistry class: an incompetent teacher reads aloud from the textbook material that they have already studied and know quite well. And when said teacher is in a bad mood, he writes these passages on the chalkboard and has the students copy it. They never use the laboratory either, even though they have one.

Physical Education class: the instructor takes the students outside and let’s them go off and play basketball or soccer amongst themselves with no sort of instruction or drills to help learn technique and improve their skills. Oh, and not to mention that it’s only the boys who go off and play sports amongst themselves. The girls, apparently, all go eat snacks and hang out during this class. Yes, a P.E. class that has neither physical activity for girls, or education. They may learn how to put on some pounds, feel ashamed, and develop an eating disorder though. And finally, despite the fact that they have an indoor gymnasium, when it rains, they just sit around in the classroom and do nothing, much like computer class, music class, chemistry class, and politics class.

The thing that makes this even more messed up is that I hear how busy and stressed out young students are in China. They have to study their asses off to test into the better high schools, then study their asses off even further to get into the better universities. All that seems to matter is these entrance examinations, for which they are supposedly cramming for everyday until 11 or 12 at night. I’m no expert on these entrance exams, but I’ve asked around a lot about them. It seems they have the typical math and science, which is universal. Then they have the language, literature, and history bits, which seems to be a bunch of memorization. Not that memorization doesn’t have its value, and I’m not just talking the memorization of names, dates, and events; I’m talking the memorization of poems and essays, which can be more than a page long. I can see how this is good in terms of preserving China’s history and culture, but seriously, we have books and references for that sort of thing.

My student is the busiest youth I’ve ever encountered, basically having classes seven days a week from 8am to 9pm. He, of course, is going to America and doesn’t have to worry about these silly entrance exams, but is still being pushed to learn his English. I think he’ll be pleasantly surprised at his new school in Maryland. It’s prestigious and expensive, so he’ll get good teachers and facilities that actually work. He may even learn a new sport and get to play on a proper team, and maybe even learn some music. And best of all, he’ll have time to relax in the evenings before bed.

Thank you god for making me American and not having to put up with this kind of crap at school. What a serious waste of time. I’m sure things will change in China’s future, and to be fair, Nanchang isn’t the most developed of Chinese cities, but it’s a more fair representation of China since most of the country isn’t that developed as a whole. What a serious shame this is that students here have to work and study so hard for these exams, and while at school, instead of prepping them for it, they spend a lot of the time goofing off in classrooms because they can’t offer them something more stimulating and useful. And I used to wonder why a lot of my university students have issues with problem solving.

Pining For The Past

2009-11-26T20:47:00.008+08:00

2009 has been a fantastic year for me. I’ve gotten engaged, I’ve reunited with a lot of old friends from high school and college, I’ve made a dozen or two trips around China, not to mention a short trip to San Francisco and Vegas for my five year high school reunion. It’s just been a real blast all around, but as this decade is coming to a close, I’m getting this nostalgic feeling for the beginning of it. Where did all the years go? It’s like life has been on an accelerator since my high school graduation. And those high school days were so sweet I can’t help but pine for them to be back, despite life being good right now.

My family moved to Tokyo at the close of the 90’s, when the 2000’s as we known them were really starting to get in gear. Late-90’s pop culture remained with glam and stutter rap really starting to take off, shitty alternative rock/post-grunge/numetal hitting its peak, and the electronica/rave scene making dance floors move. Tokyo was a great place to be a teenager during this time. We got all of the pop culture coming out of the West in a big way, including Japan’s own version of it. The streets were safe to walk at night (still are I assume), the World Cup came, bars and clubs let us in, 9/11 was so far away, and public transport was immaculate.

I was going to the American School In Japan (ASIJ), starting in 8th grade during the 1999/2000 school year. All the political drama in the States was easy to ignore, the age of “terror” hadn’t started, there was Napster. That 1997-1999 period was a relatively depressing time where I was taken out of the Taipei American School and put in public middle school in Michigan. You can imagine that not being easy for a chubby geek with a bowl cut. I was apart of that whole geeky Japan/Anime obsession in the West, and was then taken out and put in Japan itself, where things drastically changed. My geekier side became much less apparent, I slimmed out and got a new haircut, started playing sports (albeit badly), girls weren’t so distant like they used to be, and Anime didn’t interest me half as much as it used to where then, that old geeky obsession felt like another’s fantasy.

I made friends immediately, many of which I’m still close-to from a long distance. I remember terrorizing the streets of Tokyo with fireworks and BB guns. It was insane what a 14-year-old boy could get his hands on and get away with. Having fierce BB gun warfare in public parks at night that most always ended in being chased off by the cops but never really facing the consequences. Setting off fireworks on the rooftops of Homat apartment buildings in Hiro-o. I remember just tossing those peony rolls off rooftops and shooting off bottle rockets in the middle of the night with good friends and cute girls. And no one ever got hurt.

I remember those crazy 8th grade dances. One friend bringing a cheap bottle of whiskey before the dance started and, although I didn’t drink at the time, passing it around behind a wall in one of ASIJ’s nearby parks. Slow dancing up close to girls I was crushing on. Crazy sleepovers that followed where boys would be boys watching skin flicks and pissing off of balconies. I even remember getting friends in student government to secretly stamp our hands in the locker room to get in the dance for free, even though it only cost 200 yen or so ($2 essentially).

And those 8th grade school trips were hard to forget if you went to ASIJ. Hitting up Lake Sai at the foot of Mt. Fuji, doing all sorts of lovely outdoor activities like rock climbing and mountain biking. And I can’t forget the group of students (which many of my friends belonged to) who couldn’t go rock climbing and instead had to run around the lake because there was a little rain. These guys still don’t let this go and that Lake Sai trip is unfortunately tainted in their mind. I remember making a bonfire, where those of us who were caught got crusty duty the next morning, cleaning up the latrines a hundred or two students had already been using for two days. Squat toilets too, and not everybody had the best aim. I remember my English teacher catching me walking out by the lake and away from camp with a lady friend one night, where she let us continue on without a problem and only a smirk. Then there was that first onsen experience (Japanese hot springs) where swimsuits are a no go. The whole naked in front of other guys stigma you get in the West disappeared and things got real. Then there was the various attempts to peak into the girls’ section and only catching glimpses of old ladies (though a few guys got lucky).

Then there was that trip to Hokkaido, where a couple of us skied in the backcountry around the proper skiing slopes, where that same friend sneaking whiskey to dances got caught trying to sneak beer in his luggage on the flight up. I remember getting naked for the onsen and rolling around in the snow before jumping in. Then there was that other trip I made to a small town in Hokkaido, Shinshinotsu, where I got to be an exchange student for a few days in a real Japanese middle school and stayed in a typical Japanese family household.

The end of that school year was like an explosive bang, with that rowdy trip to Showa park, where we rode around on mama-san bicycles like an outlaw motorcycle gang and kicked over rows and rows of parked bikes so they fell like dominoes, and just get riding on screaming arriba arriba. What horrible children we were. I remember seeing Romeo Must Die in theaters with a bunch of classmates and being blown away (and I still love Aaliyah). And there was that 8th grade school sleepover, where we got to party all night all over campus with little supervision. No sleep, we stayed up til dawn shooting the shit and busting gags. A lot of friends left after that school year as they do in international schools, and what better way to say goodbye.

We started that freshman year of high school with early football pre-training sessions, catching the 5am train to the suburbs of Tokyo out to ASIJ, and being so exhausted afterwards we’d crash on couches in furniture stores in Kichijoji. All the new faces, all the intimidating upper classmen, it was a trip. I remember taking the late bus home after football practice where the remnants of hazing and senior intimidation were practiced on us. “Hey freshman!” a senior in the back of the bus says to me as I sit in the front, “what kind of pie do you like!?!?” I hear mumbles of “poontang pie” from sophomores behind me, and I shout back “freshman pie!” for whatever reason, followed by the same question being posed to the other freshmen and the same answer.

That first away game at the Zama army base, the Friday night lights that we didn’t have on our own field back in Tokyo, the victorious bus ride back. Our first Homecoming dance some of us made a much bigger deal than needed, going all out with tuxes, and crashing in a friends closet at a sleepover that night. My first real girlfriend, though short-lived, taught me a thing or two about relationships. The BB gun fights continued to the point where the Japanese armored police came in, in hordes, busting up our battle because of reports of gang warfare by park neighbors who looked upon us with confusion and fear, and not even getting a slap on the wrist for it, but rather a good laugh with the cops when they discovered we were just kids with toy guns.

There was our first JUMP trip (Japan Understanding and Motivational Project), where we were to travel and learn more about Japan. The bus rides were rowdy, and one of my classmates kept blaring Who Let The Dogs Out on his boombox about every other song. I remember sneaking out of the hotel and our chaperone catching but ignoring us as we came back in later that night. I’m not even sure where we went that trip, but we ended it at Fujikyu Highlands, a big amusement park by Mt. Fuji, where the view of the mountain didn’t get better when you were at the 250 foot top of the big drop on the Fujiyama rollercoaster.

I remember lunch and free periods used to their maximum value, starting pickup football games with anyone who was around, full contact and no equipment. Football games became even more ridiculous when we started incorporating new rules to make it a sort of rugby hybrid, coined Hobbes Ball. Spring came around and we started playing baseball, with our own customized bats made from materials purchased at Tokyo Hands. And if weekends weren’t spent on sporting events, we’d take day trips out to Odaiba, Yokohama, or Kamakura and Enoshima.

I remember seeing Greenday in concert for their Warning tour, getting lousy seats, but still having the time of my life moshing with friends and strangers. I remember basement sleepovers at a friend’s place in Naka-Meguro and those early 2001 Tokyo snowstorms that covered the streets, so the steep roads were sledable. I remember a daring escape when exploring the rooftops of some Embassy housing apartments, where some Australians threatened to call the cops as we swung ourselves down from the roof to the 3rd floor, nearly falling to our deaths in fear of getting caught by unthreatening Tokyo cops.

And to think a lot of this hell raising came to an end that sophomore year as we moved on from mischief to drinking and clubbing. It was a new school year and football pre-training began. Azabu Juuban was popping during that August festival and people were packing the streets for the festivities and food. We snuck out of my place through the slide door and hit up the Lexington Queen nightclub in Roppongi for the first time. That aversion to alcohol I was programmed with growing up faded away that school year as our nights out on the town increasingly became popular.

Evergreen Park Homes in Daikanyama was my home, and unfortunately, no longer exists to make way for another Tokyo high-rise. It was a well-gardened housing complex of 25 Western style houses, only a ten-minute walk from Shibuya station. The Swedish folks that seemed to have dominated the complex during those first two years in Tokyo started moving away and things started getting quieter as their children were no longer running around in everyone’s yard. It was sad to see them all go, as was it sad to see off some good friends who left after that freshman year.

Lots of new people came that sophomore year, and I can’t say my group of close friends was ever bigger. I got a digital camcorder and started making all sorts of silly home videos. Football season was back, and I got to be a captain, initiating those Quick Mustang Jumping Jacks with the other captains every practice. And after every home game, we’d take the train into Shinbashi and go to the Carne Station, an all-you-can-eat-and-drink Yakiniku joint that had an open bar. This became tradition after every home game henceforth, which would usually evolve into a stumbling mess of drunken dudes taking the subway into Shibuya for karaoke. Then there was that one victorious game we had at Zama, when terrible traffic held us up in the bus for several hours on our way back. One of the freshmen put his tunes on the bus loudspeakers and everybody got up dancing and reveling until we reached the city. The ring of Where the Party At by Jagged Edge will always bring me back to that night.

Seeing how much fun friends were having playing JV-B basketball who didn’t make JV freshman year prompted me to play that sophomore year, and my basketball skills still remain horrendous. The coach let us goof off and play, we won a few games, and fun was always put first. Free periods were spent getting to know people I hadn’t formerly associated with. 9/11 hits and it seems unreal being on the other side of the world, but the school still decides to build a giant fence around the school (where a shorter concrete wall had already been) in order to keep the terrorists out. The buses were repainted from our proud colors of black and gold to random colors and miscellaneous patterns warding off attention to the Westerners inside. And I got to start bus monitoring, or working on the bus as an attendant, making money I was always quick to spend on something fun or cool.

I remember the girlfriend I had during the beginning of that school year, who I spent nights leading up to Homecoming with on the streets and rooftops around Hiro-o, Ebisu, and Daikanyama and each other’s homes when our respective parents weren’t home, and feeling bad in a real good way because of it. And cuddling with her out on the football field during the Homecoming dance, I could hear I’m Real by Jennifer Lopez and Ja Rule blaring from the dance inside. I remember solitary meals at Yoshinoya that winter eating gyudon while Dragon Ash’s Life Goes On repeatedly played on the radio.

Then there was my sophomore year JUMP trip to Hakone, where it wasn’t a class trip like in 9th grade, but a 20-30 person mixed trip of sophomores, juniors, and seniors who I didn’t really know. There was an option of 20 or so trips, and the one I ended up getting had none of my friends on it. It all turned out good in the end when I got to know some people and had a great time exploring the outdoor art museum there and telling ghost stories at night. And I can’t forget the unsupervised camping trip I took out to Lake Sai with three other friends one long weekend, where we got stuck on the other side of the lake in a rowboat due to strong winds. After finally making it back, we spent the rest of the camping trip in the hot springs.

The nights out at Lexington Queen turned into nights out at the legendary Pylon nightclub in Roppongi, that was shut down later in 2002. We danced our asses off in its various rooms, be it to hip hop, house, or the especially popular trance music from the time. I remember long walks back from Pylon, going on foot all the way past Shibuya to my home by myself, where not a threatening character was met on the way. I remember the popular dance styles getting nastier with the growing popularity of glam rap, grinding with various girls from school at the clubs while the DJ spun Ja Rule or Jay-Z. The short but sweet fling I had that spring break spent in the city, going on a date to a funky Chinese restaurant in Shibuya and watching Black Hawk Down in the cinema afterwards, followed by another body shaking sweat covered night at Pylon.

I remember the cooking class and health class I had that school year, taught by a teacher who couldn’t be cooler. She let us play our music loud while we cooked and ate during the morning of an average school day. Upper classmen girls with attitude played all the hot jams from the time, blaring Eve’s Who’s That Girl or Bubba Sparxxx’s Ugly every class. I remember the time we caused a fire in the oven and having it explode as we opened it, where it was quickly subdued with a fire extinguisher by one of my buddies. And in health class when we made that naughty documentary about STD’s and got an A on it. And to think how lucky I feel compared to growing up in the Chinese educational system that I’m currently working in.

Just as more people came in that 2001/2002 school year, the recession that hit after 9/11 sent a bunch of them out that spring and summer. The World Cup came early that summer and provided the perfect climax to end the school year, with weekends spent at the Nike sponsored indoor soccer tournaments in Harajuku. I remember moving up in the tournament brackets, but becoming a sheepish defensive player after taking a shot to the testis during a practice session and losing before we could enter the finals. I remember nights spent watching the World Cup games at Outback Steakhouse, and heading into Shibuya afterwards to take part in the peaceful riots that would occur whenever Japan won a game.

Just as we began clubbing in a major way, karaoke was also a hit, where two hour all you can drink sessions were spent singing classic songs like Wonderwall and Total Eclipse of the Heart. Our nightlife continued on into junior year where we kicked the year off returning to the former site of Pylon, where only a small hip hop club called Vertu Shka remained. I remember partying with a whole different group of girls than we usually went out with before, and grinding to current songs like Nelly & Kelly Rowland’s Dilemma. The nights were epic, meeting at Hachiko square in Shibuya and moving on to do some intense karaoke sessions at Yajima’s place (Big One III) at the Udagawa-cho crossroads. After, we’d hang with the seniors there at the crossroads drinking Coronitas bought at the nearby convenience store, and would move onto Roppongi to hit the bars and clubs.

That year, I remained on the JV football team with a couple other friends, instead of moving up to varsity (where the head coach behaved in an unnecessarily asshole-ish manner). We got to be the team captains and led a championship season, while keeping fun first just like if we were playing JV-B basketball. That spring, since a number of us didn’t play baseball or track & field, started the Gentleman’s Volleyball Club, in a tongue-in-cheek retaliation to the way the girls sports teams were run since girls were able to join the football team if they could cut it (but none ever lasted), yet boys weren’t allowed to join field-hockey even if they volunteered to wear the skirt and all. Our JV-B coach offered to coach us, and things got real silly with practice mostly consisting of dodge ball games. Yet when we challenged the girls JV and varsity volleyball teams, we annihilated them.

JUMP was pretty intense that year, where I went on an outward-bound adventure trip, this time with some good friends. Made some new friends, climbed some impressively tall cliffs opposite of Mt. Fuji, where we watched the sun set over the mountain after we reached the top. We biked up and down mountains, we built a raft from inner tubes and wooden planks and paddled across Lake Sai in the bitter cold, all while folks on the other trips were checking out temples and workshops.

As spring came, my family moved to South Africa, where I spent a short stint away from Tokyo, returning for my senior year and staying with some family friends in Roppongi. For my going away, we had a house party at a friend’s place, since his parents didn’t mind. This was a true rarity in the ASIJ experience, considering parties were spent out at the clubs since houses were usually too small and/or occupied by parents. During that time down in Africa, I was able to come back and visit for my first prom, where I went as a stag joker, having a riotous time at the dance and at the after party held at Vertu Shka. Drunk off our asses, we bumped and grinded on the floor and blissfully joked in the hallway outside the club. I made another trip back at the end of the year when the house party friend himself was moving to Singapore. We had an even more epic party, but held in Arisugawa park since his parents weren’t keen on another messy rager in their home. But fortunately, the liquor cabinet was full of already open bottles they weren’t planning on bringing down to Singapore, so the booze flowed plentifully. We set up in a pavilion in the middle of the park that summer night with bottles and a boom box blasting Southern Culture On The Skids. The crowds dispersed by midnight as the rain came in, but a few of us remained and burned the rest of the alcohol.

I remember finishing up the El Samurai trilogy that summer, a series of silly samurai movies I made with a friend filmed around Yoyogi-Uehara, Daikanyama, and Arisugawa park. I spent a few weeks away on a home-stay in central, mountainous Japan in a town called Takayama. I’ll never forget the family expecting me to be South African and being somewhat noticeably disappointed that I wasn’t. My stomach will never forget the time they fed me too many mayonnaise filled okunomiyaki that I was too polite to turn away, and in turn felt like vomiting with every bite (I hate mayonnaise).

I remember coming back to school that senior year with a case of mono, preventing me from playing football that season, in fear I’d burst some sort of swollen gland. I was also living at the residence of some family friends in Roppongi, and felt bored while at home in their place, so I’d finish all my homework immediately after school, monitor the elementary school late bus for the extra dough, and go to sleep really early when I’d get home after a delicious dinner cooked by the woman of the house.

We had essentially taken over the Spirit Club junior year and had planned some fantastically ridiculous pep rallies from then until graduation. Professional Wrestling antics were acted out on our mock-rivals as the crowds cheered in blood lust. Sporting events in the city were always a favorite as well, like the X-League (Japan’s American football league), where our favorite team, the Fujitsu Frontiers made it to the Tokyo Superbowl that year, but failed to win the championship. We were lucky enough to see some Japan vs. America All-star baseball games. I remember being blinded by all the camera flashes whenever Ichiro took the plate.

Living in Roppongi made nights out on the weekends a lot easier. We’d start our evenings at 5pm for happy hour and dinner at Havana’s in Roppongi where you could get an Orange Buck for 100 Yen, following at Bar Milwaukee at 7pm until happy hour ended at 9pm, where you could get an ice cold Suntory Malt’s on draft for 400 Yen. We all assumed it was a gay bar judging by the flamboyant bar owner/bar tender, but the place always seemed to be lacking other clientele before the late-night. Our time following Milwaukee usually consisted of karaoke in either Roppongi or Shibuya, or more bar/club hopping around Roppongi. I’d stumble home drunk from the bars after midnight to my nearby apartment, where no curfew was put on me. And next weekend it’d be the same thing and just as much fun. Dance styles were getting progressively nasty with dirty south rap coming into the mainstream, especially Lil’ Jon’s Get Low. All the Dancehall Ragga coming out at the time too, gets me reliving some of those enervative nights at Lexington Queen dancing around stinky underage Russian models and expat sleaze, every time I hear No Letting Go by Wayne Wonder or Kevin Lytlle’s Turn Me On.

I remember my first strip club experience nearing the winter of that school year. No one was coming out since they were preparing for college entrance applications and essays, except me since I’d do it after school everyday, and a buddy who always came out. The Nigerian hustler on the street who brought us there convinced us with his smooth Nigerian-accented spiel about the place, having girls from around the world including Brazil, which he was quite proud of, and just about any Eastern European country you can name.

We got free drinks with our paid entry and enjoyed the view. The DJ spun typical club fare from 2003, as a new girl came up to the stage for every new song. And there were some fly honey’s at this place, literally from all around the world. There was that Japanese girl spinning on the pole, who was quite popular with the group of Japanese businessmen sitting across from us. The alpha-male of the group had this humble, yet playalistic swagger, and walked over to slide a 10,000 yen bill in her string.

There was that tall, tight, and slender Brazilian chick who had the best moves on the pole without a doubt. Spinning upside down with her legs flying every which way, all to the beat of the music. There was the voluptuous Slovakian charmer who joined us for a drink, and later a dance. And there was the Middle-Eastern dancer with those sexy smirks she’d throw at us when doing something special on the stage.

I remember bringing back some of the other guys after our new discovery, smoking clove cigarettes, drinking Black Russians or Hennessy on the rocks, and sitting back watching the show. The trend spread, and soon enough, the strip clubs became a regular thing to do on the weekend-out agenda. The best was that 3,000 yen all you can drink deal we could get hooked up at Seventh Heaven, supposedly the most premier strip joint in the city. The only catch was, we had to go from 7-9pm before the place was popping. But hell, the Hennessy flowed for free, and those drinks were made strong. There were always at least a few really fine girls there even that early, but there was also the lower tier girls, like the one who got her hair caught in something when doing a pole-spin, and a big wad of it ripped out and remained on the stage for several more dances by other girls.

Another new hit on the agenda that year was Bar Sheesha, a hookah place we started frequenting in Roppongi. They had that dark orientalist lounge vibe going on and a few flavors of shisha. A weekend rarely went by where we didn’t go for a smoke. I remember taking groups of girls there in the middle of a night out, and exchanging smoke mouth-to-mouth. We may have followed them to Gas Panic on one of these nights out from time to time, which I hated having to do. All the girls loved going to Gas Panic because they’d get a lot of attention when dancing on the bar from the hordes of sleazy dudes and drunk U.S. Marines that frequented the place. Drinks were overpriced and were pushed on you by the service people when you didn’t have one in your hand. Hence, a few of us would sneak Two Dogs alcoholic lemonade in from a local convenient store, which also happened to be a bottled beverage on the Gas Panic menu. Worked every time.

I remember taking a lazy JUMP trip that year to a Hawaiin themed hot springs resort up in northern Japan. We wandered the halls with the hotel provided Hawaiin attire, which included cheap, oversized Hawaiin shirts and some light green pants you’d imagine an old helpless man wearing in a retirement home. We’d chill in the variously flavored hot springs with our hotel themed towels wrapped around our heads like Japanese construction workers. And then there was that karaoke joint in the hotel we went to, drinks and escorts included. Definitely the kind of place businessmen with money go to, so we ducked out of there early.

I remember doing a DJ set at the Winterball that school year, with the dance ending in good feelings, followed by another epic night out on the town. There was also that Kanto Plain dance around the same time of year at one of the U.S. military base high schools, where we grinded with cute half-Filipina girls from the Naval base, while these young thug looking dudes just sat there lounging on the bleachers in the latest hip hop attire. There was this ridiculous white kid also decked out in the hip hop wear, who must have been only 11 years old, who was shaking his body and grinding on some well willing big booty girls left and right. Security came in and escorted the boy out after he got a few dances in, and we all booed as he was walked out of the dancehall.

Prom that year was off the chain. We all had pretty dates, we were all decked out in all black, dudes were sneaking Jack Daniels in the bathroom for some shenanigans. But the main event was after-prom. A friend organized a party at Piper’s Lounge, another Roppongi favorite, where the whole first floor V.I.P. lounge, plushly carpeted, was reserved for us. Champagne flowed and I was on an empty stomach. We had already downed a couple bottles of wine at a friend’s place while the ladies got ready for the club. Folks were crowding in and we were partying hard. It was jolly times and good drunken laughs, wandering around the lounge talking to all my people. Freshmen girls started coming in and getting really drunk. As soon as one of them started puking on the carpet, the bouncers started throwing our underage asses out. I had a Cuban cigar saved for that night, which I shared with a few people. It got soggy from the passing lips and drizzle coming down from above. Then came the worst hangover of my life.

I remember all that excessive free time I had that senior year, where free periods were spent making the rounds around campus and pulling gags on people who were in class. There were a number of times where a simple prank set off my friend and student-body president off in a heated rage. Petty crimes, they were called. And they rarely ended in any sort of punishment, petty or otherwise. Hell, teachers would even play along sometimes. School barbecues were always fun, and our mothers threw us the best one yet, just for the seniors. Then there was the time our mothers threw us that ice-cream social. Everyone was lovely, from the students to the parents to the teachers.

Lazy Saturday afternoons were spent lounging in hotel lobbies in Mark City or the Cerulean Tower in Shibuya drinking liters of cold barely tea you could get at 7-11. It provided a free social space that beat the hell out of spending a pretty penny at some café or restaurant, where we’d chat as usual and coordinate the upcoming night out.

As fun as clubbing and bar hopping was, I was always itching for a more intimate party that could be held at someone’s house. We reverted to the Arisugawa Park party thing a couple times that spring, setting up in the pavilion in the middle of the park with music and drinks. Classmates flocked to, where we shared warm revelry and Smirnoff Ice. Beer bongs and wiffle balls games, loud music and hookups, all ending with the police chasing us out by midnight, keeping us from cleaning up our mess like we would have done if they let us be.

The utopian time we were having in high school was coming to an end. We got to go to Okinawa for our honors Japanese history class at the end of the school year. Time on the beach was well balanced with history tours. We played capture the flag on the moonlit beach. We led girls into caves along the beach, where more classmates hid inside for a jump out scare. And of course, the night before we left for Okinawa, we went out to the St. Mary’s/Sacred Heart/Seisen (Tokyo’s Catholic school league) after-prom party at the Cube club in Roppongi near the Russian Embassy. Usher’s Yeah was the biggest hit at the time, and I remember seeing dudes dancing in circles singing along like middle school girls. There was dancing through the night as we got well drunk, then we rushed off to Haneda airport for our flight, looking beat and washed out.

My hopes for a grand house party had come true towards the end of that spring, when a Sacred Heart student had the house to herself one weekend, and invited one too many ASIJ-ers. We mixed in well with the Sacred Heart and Seisen girls, the St. Mary’s boys seemed to have turned down their unceasing testosterone overloads, so the aggression was at a minimum, and good times were shared. Things went sour for the hostess when our freshman started coming in. We had felt the need for some sort of initiation, and drinking contests seemed only logical, and shortly thereafter, the carpets had vomit stains wherever you looked. She and her friends chased most everyone out at this point except a few of us who helped clean up and take care of sicklings. She even managed to get the house spotless so her parents never had a clue when they came back, until they found their video camera someone had carelessly used at the party.

Graduation was upon us before we knew it, and we were planning the after party. We got a hook-up at club The Nature, a predominantly African hangout. We basically got a discounted entrance with a free drink, but many students didn’t want to come in due to the high proportion of grown African men. It was a combination of dull racist fear and that ASIJ clique mentality that kept people out. The after party was deemed a failure by many, but I had a blast, partying until dawn until we finished with a sloppy McDonald’s feast. There were some unforgettable moments, like when that guy saw an African man grinding on his little sister, so he cuts in and starts grinding on her, which went on for several songs.

The school year had ended, and I was planning on being in Tokyo all summer to savor my last moments in that city. But first, I had to go on a senior trip with my closest friends to Shanghai. We knew maybe a handful of words in Chinese at the time, but managed to navigate the town from bars to clubs to markets and so on. It was a gritty fun time where we drank many a cheap beer and bought suitcases full of cheap knock-off clothing and designer goods. Illicit DVD’s were packed in with everything, which led to a 24-hour-straight viewing of the 24 TV series back in Tokyo that summer. Kamikaze shots will always bring me back to that night we spent in Mural’s by Hengshan Lu, during one of their all-you-can-drink parties. Then hearing Usher’s Yeah for the umpteenth time in a cab later, as the driver turned up the volume.

I spent that summer living at two different friends’ houses in the Hiro-o, Azabu Juuban, Roppongi area. Parties were thrown, lots of hung over lazing around watching Chappell Show and Seinfeld. I remember even eating some Snickers bars with a knife and fork with one of my friends just like that Seinfeld episode. His mother, who was in the room, took no notice of it to our disappointment.

I was broke as a joke that summer living in one of the most expensive cities in the world. My habit of late nights out and afternoon feasts was in danger of being compromised. I got a job babysitting for a freelance journalist in Kamiyacho, a single mother with a young boy. She was investigating maltreatment and cover-ups at Tokyo’s insane asylums all while I was showing Shrek to her little boy on her TV in her tiny studio apartment.

The money was decent enough to allow me out a few times a week. The newly coined “summer style” was how we partied, buying a cheap bottle of Gilbey’s Gin and orange juice at the Popura konbini and mixing it in glasses purchased at the 100 Yen store, sipping Gin & Juice in the Cat’s Cradle, a dirty back alley of stairs behind Lexington Queen in Roppongi. We’d move on to Club Vanilla, where there was a cover and drink tickets. Drunk off that summer style Gin & Juice, we’d party all night in Vanilla, bouncing on the floor in the hip hop room, or going nuts with office workers who were holding hands in circles and shouting to every beat progression in the electronica room.

That summer seemed to last forever, but it passed by all too quickly. One of the hottest summers in Tokyo’s history, I loved the hot humid air making me sweat as I walked out the door on the way to babysitting, or to Matsuya in Yoyogi-Uehara, the workplace of another friend. This of course was during the great imported American beef quandary, when Yoshinoya stopped serving gyudon (beef bowl), their signature dish. Matsuya held in there with the beef, wherever they got it from, so all my business went their way.

With financial constraints, we were fortunate enough to have Shibuya’s Club Pure Thursday night parties, the short-lived 1000-Yen cover, all you can drink all night. Good booze with a specialty every week like Coconut Malibu Rum with pineapple juice. I still have the free plastic cups they were giving out every Thursday. Soon enough, we were practically spending entire weekends at Pure, for their Friday and Saturday night parties. All the dirty dancing, crazy hookups, the phony-machismo conflicts, the serene walks home away from Shibuya afterwards feel like a distant memory from another life.

The summer came to an end and college life was about to begin. The happy-go-lucky life a foreign teenager could live in Tokyo came to a jolting halt, with my entrance into Hampshire College, the most negative and judgmental place I have ever been to on Earth. A good education was at my disposal and I took complete advantage, but the wounds from living in a place like that have only just healed. The next decade is beginning, and I’m seeing a bright future for the world, but to have those days back… It’s like it was all a dream.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's Been A While

2009-09-09T13:10:00.007+08:00

It's been a while, folks. I have one legitimate excuse for not making posts since March. Blogger was casted out on the other side China's firewall, keeping people like me from posting and reading others' blogs on the server. This happened as protests, violence, and unrest came back to Tibet in March. Pictures were posted showing the violence, where pictures of Chinese law enforcers beating Tibetan protesters prompted embarrassment for the Chinese government. They reacted like they usually do, and shut down a website. The blocking of Facebook followed, as large scale violence hit the streets of Urumqi, in Xinjiang province. Rebiya Kadeer, the leader of the World Uyghur Congress, was blamed for the planning and execution of the protests and riots by the Chinese government. She then gave an interview which was published on Facebook, leading to Facebook's eventual block on the Mainland.

All of this aside, I was able to get on both of these websites later by using some software that gets around the blocks. Silly people advertised this software online and in expat magazines as a form of beating the blocks, which has lead to this software being blocked itself. For some reason, it still works on my computer. All in all, I've been a bit lazy in doing posts. I will continue to write as long as I can still get on Blogger.

Back to the unrest out in western China. There is a lot of misconstrued information on what's actually going on there, and this is happening on every front. I have not actually been to Urumqi, and I've only been to Lhasa once, over two years ago, so how would I know what's actually going on, right? Well, I live in China and I know what the government is saying and I know what the Chinese people are saying off the record. I happen to know someone who is from Urumqi and was there during the massive protests this summer. To add to this, I'm well aware of what the Western media is saying about all of this through various internet news sources.

The Chinese media tends to omit and skew a lot of information. They also give a lot of news a positive spin, which I actually find quite nice, since all you get in the U.S. is terror, terror, terror. Everything is such a scare in the U.S. media, and this is in no way benefiting the American people. It's just making everyone crazy, and the misinformation spread by Fox News is just spreading ignorance to all who don't take it with a grain of salt. The U.S. media is in no way better or higher than the Chinese media. When the Chinese media omits or skews information, it's expected in the West. Although when Fox News, or any other news source blatantly lies, the only ones you hear making any noise about it are comedic news satirists like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Bill Maher. Why are these news organizations getting away with all this? In China, the so called "oppressive" regime controls the media, so it's no surprise it's spun in their favor. Why is the money driven news industry in the U.S. just as bad, or worse in the 'Land of the Free'?

This leads me back to my frustration with how the unrest in western China is being perceived in the West. Days after the protest, I get on Facebook and browse my news feed. I see a post by a former classmate at Hampshire college, who was also the head of the Students for Free Tibet at Hampshire while I attended. She posts that over a hundred Uyghurs have been killed during the protests. I'm not sure where she got this information. I was eager to comment, but I didn't exactly have my facts straight either. One reason was due to how the Western media reported this. The number of deaths on that day was reported to be 150, give or take, by the Western and Chinese media. Except in the Western media, it just said "people." It didn't say ethnic Uyghurs or ethnic Han (the majority ethnicity in China, who are most commonly just referred to as "the Chinese"). Judging by how the West views China, people automatically assume that those 150 deaths were Uyghur, as seen by the poster on Facebook. Those deaths were actually innocent Han Chinese people who live in Urumqi who were killed by some straight up violent Uyghurs who got way out of hand during the protests. Yet, the Students for Free Tibet have to spin this in their favor, as they want the Chinese government out of Tibet, and in effect, out of anywhere where people are unhappy with them (Xinjiang province, where a whole lot of Uyghurs and other minorities want their own country). Hence, one might post that it was "innocent" Uyghurs who were killed even though it was the other way around.

Now, I am in no way saying that the Chinese government's activity in Tibet and Xinjiang is pretty. The taking of both these regions was vile when the People's Liberation Army moved in after the founding of the People's Republic of China in 1949. Minorities were treated like second-class citizens, or worse. Religious repression was rampant, and still is today in many aspects. Things are getting better in both places though. Han Chinese settlers have moved out west, some because the government encouraged them to. They have started business and have become pretty successful, and in effect, improved the economies of those regions. Some say that this is keeping the local minorities down. But these Han Chinese who are out there are just looking after themselves and their families. Competition is rough in a country of over 1.3 billion people, and you gotta find a way somehow, even if it means packing up and moving out to the "frontier." Plus, the minorities get affirmative action, so many Han are confused as to why they were the victims during the unrest. And all of this violence towards innocent Han Chinese both in Tibet during its 2008 riots and in Urumqi this summer is somehow justified by a lot of advocates of Tibetan and East Turkestani (Xinjiang) liberation. This sure as hell goes against what the Dalai Lama says, let alone the religion of Islam (depending on how you interpret Jihad).

As an American, I feel it is highly hypocritical to tell the Chinese government to get out of Tibet and Xinjiang. As a countryman of a place where settlement and westward expansion is the total geographical basis of the country, who am I to tell the Chinese to get out of their western provinces? If that's the mentality of these advocates in the U.S., then how about they pack up and leave the United States for the same damn reason. I do, however, support the promotion of human rights in all of China, including those western provinces.

The situation in Urumqi is a sad one. Violence erupts on one side, and Han Chinese are victimized. Then there's the backlash from the Han Chinese who live there against Uyghurs, not to mention the government crackdowns that have taken place since. Many people have died on both sides, and that information should be out there. And now there's a small group of Uyghur terrorists poking people with syringes. They really aren't making a case for liberation with all of the violence and terror that has been going on this year. The same goes for the violent perpetrators in Tibet. The situation over here is very complicated, and I don't believe violence is the answer. It's just going to cause more tension and unrest, and is not helping the people of Tibet and Xinjiang who want to see real improvement in their homeland.

Hot Springs In Wentang

2009-03-11T10:54:00.020+08:00

My co-worker Cici, who is from Nanchang, invited a few of us to her flat in Wentang to enjoy some hot springs last weekend. Wentang is in Yichun county, Jiangxi province. Its economy almost solely depends on the tourism industry, bringing in vacationers by providing hot spring resorts.

Cici, Jess, Dmitri, Eagle, and I set out on the D205 bullet train last Friday to Yichun. A pretty short and comfortable trip on the bullet train. Only an hour and a half, plus free Tibetan spring water for all passengers. Only one bottle of water, as I found out when I asked for another. They actually wouldn't let me buy an additional one from them as they passed me with a cart full of excess bottles, and directed me to the dining car. It was really good water.

We arrived at Yichun city around 6:30 that evening and immediately hopped a cab to Wentang, only about a half hour away. When we got in, Cici took us to a local restaurant and ordered us an array of Wentang tese cai (specialty dishes). This included some smoked pork that tasted like tender bacon, but even tastier, with its inclusion of spices and small vegetables. Failures included a purple-green leafy vegetable that tasted like a wad of gardening soil, and a root vegetable based noodle that looked, tasted, and felt like the fat you cut off the side of a pork chop. One thing that went down really well (at least for me and Dmitri) was the home-brewed rice wine, known as mijiu. It was served hot and has a moderately glutinous consistency, with a cloudy white coloration. They must add a lot of sugar too because it was sweeter than a Bacardi Breezer. Once it cooled off enough, it made a great drink to ganbei (dry the glass--or shoot down in one shot). We drank two pots of the stuff to get our buzz going for that evening.

Cici brought us over to her place after dinner, and we got our stuff settled. We almost immediately got ready for a night out at the springs. But first, we had to get the drinks in order. We bought bottles of green tea to mix with the bottle of Finlandia Vodka I brought. We had a few for the road, then mixed the rest in our individual tea bottles, so we could take them into the springs. We wanted to try out the public hot springs area first, but found they closed early, so we had to move on to plan b, the luxury hot springs resort. The luxury place was a bit of a walk, but well worth it. It costs 160 RMB to get in, and provides lockers, showers, a large heated pool, and a diverse number of small hot spring pools to choose from. Massages and other services could be paid for in addition.

Almost all the pools have their own unique flavor or health benefit. There's the milk pool, tea pools, and some really strange sounding herbal ones like "the male enjoyment" pool, or something like that. We hopped from pool to pool that night, drinking our vodka and talking the night away. When it got close to closing time, we changed and walked back to Cici's pad. We continued the festivities by drinking the soju Dmitri brought while playing the snapping crocodile dentistry game. Whoever pressed the wrong tooth on the croc got a nice little bite and a shot of soju/green tea mix. I'm not even sure how long this went on for. My mind was fading as the night went on, but I'm pretty sure I was the only one taking actual full shots towards the end.

We slept in later than expected the next morning. The flat was cold, so we warmed up around the foot heater with some hot tea. Cici then brought us to another restaurant that supposedly specializes in serving wild animals. She never made it clear what wild creatures they served, nor did she order any. Instead, we got a giant stone bowl with a big fish cooking in it, among other smaller dishes. There was no purple dirt tasting greens or pork fat noodles this time. The fish was tasty, but the giant stone bowl weighed one side of the lazy susan down, so we couldn't turn it to pass dishes.

After lunch, we got a mianbao che to take us to Mingyue Shan (Bright Moon Mountain), another local attraction. Our driver ran over a fat chicken en route, which angered its owners to yells and crys. The damn chicken crossed the road, then walked back into the car's wheel as we passed. It wasn't really the driver's fault, but he got out and paid the family 50 kuai anyway. And all of the sudden, beaty eyes turned bright and scowls turned into beams. We drove off and they smiled, probably planning on cooking the chicken up that day. For all we know, it might not have been their chicken, and they may have made some easy money.

We eventually got to the mountain without hitting anything else (although we came close to hitting a few childen and bikers). The mountain entrance fee plus cable car tickets ended up costing way too much, so we decided to spend the rest of the day at the luxury hot springs. By the time we made it over there, it was cluttered with tour buses and women. Women's International Day weekend was the cause for this congregation. The crowds outside of the springs were pretty big and chaotic, but inside wasn't so bad. We managed to stake a number of pools for ourselves, and relaxed the whole afternoon going from one pool to another. My repose was only interrupted one time, when a man was shouting for help in the bathroom, because the door wouldn't open. I'm thinking he forgot to pull instead of push, because it wasn't very difficult to open it for him. I could be wrong, seeing that the next guy couldn't get out either.

We ended our pool hopping in a relatively big one, so we could have a few games of Marco Polo. We taught Cici how to play, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. Surprisingly, no inappropriate grabs at people were made by Marco. Fish out of water seemed to end the game frequently because the pool wasn't all that large, so we used the old 'one foot in the water' tactic a lot. We eventually got tired of the game, and moved onto the relaxation rooms inside. We unwound in there with our newly aquired faux silk lounge wear, eating complimentary watermelon. Dinner time started rolling in, so we showered and headed off to eat.

Playing Marco Polo in the mist

Our train was leaving that night at ten, so we had to eat and catch another mianbao che back to Yichun. It was another scrumptious meal, that ended with us rushing to finish. We got back to Nanchang that night around 11:30 and turned in pretty soon after walking in the door. Eagle had to return to Wuhan the next afternoon, along with Jess who was going back home to Jiujiang. We got a quick lunch at my favortie Muslim noodle shop by campus, then I saw them off at the train station.

I'm a huge lover of hot springs. If I had my way, I'd dip in them every morning before work and every night before going to bed. I hope to make a return trip to Wentang, or a place like it, sometime in the near future.

Weekend In Hong Kong

2009-03-10T14:05:00.021+08:00

Jess's grandparents are on this amazing around the world cruise. They started on January 8th in England, and just over a week ago, we met them in Hong Kong.

We both knew they would dock in Hong Kong in early March. What day was the issue. Jess has a very busy schedule, so taking weekend trips can be tough for her. I, on the other hand, have five day weekends, so this trip down to HK was no sweat on my work schedule. They arrived the morning of Sunday, March 1st and left the following night. Perfect for my schedule, but Jess had to reschedule a few of her Monday classes so she could make the trip.

Jess went ahead and bought us the train tickets to Shenzhen, so I went up to Jiujiang that Friday morning to meet her before we departed. It was another overnight on hardsleeper, 14 hours this time. We arrived in Shenzhen very early in the morning. It was still dark out. We wandered around the train station trying to figure out how to procure our return tickets up to our respective homes, but found the ticket booth wasn't open yet. We waited in a small diner until they did. After getting our tickets, we walked down to the Hong Kong border, just a few hundred meters from the Shenzhen train station. Immigration over the border is actually pretty tight. First you go through one immigration line where the officer examines your passport and the card you have to fill out. Then you put your bags through the customs x-ray. Then you go through another line and see another immigration officer who checks out your passport and another form you have to fill out. Security is even tighter than going to a foreign country! Fortunately, it was very early in the morning and the lines were fast moving.

We caught the subway into Kowloon from the border area. We exited the subway at Tsim Sha Tsui East, right next to the Mirador Mansion on Nathan road, where a bunch of hostels are located. We found a room on the 13th floor in one of the little hostels, and it actually included a large bed, private bathroom, and a TV. The bathroom was private for us, but it was really just part of the room, separated by a glass sliding door and shower curtain. Good enough for 250 HK dollars a night though.

The weather was already great when we had gotten in to Shenzhen, despite it still being the wee morning hours. I already needed to remove my long johns then, which keep me warm in the wet cold of northern Jiangxi. We showered up and changed into warm climate clothes and set out for the day. Our first stop was the mansion right next to the Mirador, which had all sorts of vendors and Indian restaurants. We went to a shabby little Indian stall, where we got some chicken briyani, roti, and an okra based curry.

After that delicious meal, we walked over to the Star Ferry, which is right next to the Ocean Terminal, where Jess's grandparents were to dock the next morning. All of this was only a 5-10 minute walk from our hostel. I rode the Star Ferry back in 1996, when I first went to Hong Kong on a family trip. Seeing the city from as 23 year old's eyes as opposed to a 10 year old's eyes is pretty different, but it was still the Hong Kong I remembered. The ferry seemed to be exactly the same. It's pretty quick, it provides a great view of the Hong Kong island skyline, and it's only 1.7 HKD's.

After getting off the ferry, we followed the herd into the International Finance Centre. We wandered around a bit and found a nice little ice cream shop that sold the most amazing juice. We both got bottles of the Strawberry/Blueberry combo. It's like they freshly blended these fruits together and bottled it right there. Jess couldn't even bring herself to call it juice, rather than a smoothie, it was so good.

We exited the IFC and entered a new mall, sipping our juice as we walked. This mall we found behind the IFC seemed to cater to Hong Kong's Filipino population. Many of them were out picnicking on the walkways around the malls of Central. Jess saw some things she liked, as she does when we go shopping most places. I did the usual stand around and observe, as I hadn't brought a book to deflect situations like these.

We did some more walking and shopping deeper into the city, seeing all sorts of outdoor markets and art galleries. We even saw the fire department handle a situation right off of Hollywood road. We moved along towards Admiralty after that, enjoying the little parks and squares on our way to Pacific Place. I had stayed at the Conrad above the Pacific Place back in 1996, and remembered this great little figurine shop called King & Country. I had seen it again once in 2003 during a different visit to HK, and sure enough, it was there as I had remembered it. Jess was fond of the Old Hong Kong themed set. I'm still all about the World War II theme. They seemed to have some new stuff like an Alamo theme, which Jess thought was pretty cool, taking her Texas heritage into account.

We were pretty exhausted after all of the walking. Even a little lounge session in the Island Shangri La lobby didn't re-energize us. Nor did the tea and sandwich break we took at Starbucks. We hopped on the MTR back up to Tsim Tsa Shui East and took a nap in our room. We got up and grabbed dinner at a nearby T.G.I.Fridays. I was in need of another quality burger, and Jess wanted some comforts from "home." Dinner was pretty satisfying, and the giant oreo ice cream dessert Jess ordered was the icing on the fatty obese potbellied cake. We can't keep eating like this our whole lives...

We weren't really feeling like going out that night, so we just walked around Kowloon a bit. We first strolled though Kowloon park, and then found a nice little night market that had all sorts of typical souveniers and clothing, plus lots of street food restaurants. I was still full from dinner, but I grabbed a glass bottle Coke Zero. I'm all about the glass bottled sodas, and this was the first Coke Zero I've seen in that configuration. As we strolled on, my mouth watered for the roast duck I saw everywhere. This all changed when I saw a roasted goat head pictured outside one of the restaurants.

We then walked down to Toy 'R' Us and looked at all the board games. We were planning a group hot springs trip in Jiangxi for the following weekend, so it'd be nice to have a fun game that could incorporate drinking. Nothing was really looking good. They sure as hell didn't have Hero's Quest. But then I spotted another old favorite. The crocodile dentistry game! I had played this at the bars in Tokyo all summer when working Summer Day Camp at ASIJ. What a classic. I copped that gator, and we went back to the room for sleep.

The next morning we got up to meet Jess's grandparents at the Ocean Terminal. We found them pretty easily, then went over to a nearby Starbucks for breakfast. We thought we'd show them the market we had discovered the night before, but it wasn't really happening since it was still morning. We still got a pleasant walk through Kowloon park. And since it was daytime this time, we got to see all the pretty birds in the aviary. We then decided to just hop on the Star Ferry and see the island. We got that delicious juice for all of us, and did some strolling around Central. The ladies shopped as usual, while me and grandpa waited.

Jess's grandparents had a pretty full list of things to do. One of which was ride the trolly cars around the island. We got on one destined for Happy Valley, but we got off early to check out an outdoor market. We got pizza for lunch, then browsed the market. Jess and her grandmother had some finds, and I got some new lucky red underwear for the year of ox; my year. We then hailed a cab and went to Stanley market, where we all got a little more shopping done. The ladies found some bags, and I found some new rugby shirts for a really good price. We promenaded the promenade and enjoyed the lovely weather. After seeing all the little nice restaurants along the water, I wished we had just waited to eat there.

We caught a double decker bus into Central, and admired the view from the top all along the waterfront roadway. We then caught the Star Ferry back to Kowloon, but didn't have enough time to catch afternoon tea at The Peninsula hotel. We instead walked back to the night market, and grabbed a real Chinese meal on the street. After ordering, the ladies went to look around all the shops. Knowing how the Chinese do food, you order and expect to see your food in at least a few minutes. Jess ignored this and shopped with her grandmother for over 20 minutes, leaving her grandfather and me staring at the food until they came back. I actually dug in early on, because it wouldn't be any good cold. I felt bad for Jess's gentlemanly grandfather, who waited all 20 mintues for them to return. I wasn't happy, but Jess got me some awesome sunglasses while shopping, so those feelings disapeered pretty quickly.

We caught a quick cab down to the Kowloon waterfront, to see the 8pm light show on Hong Kong's skyline. It was pretty nifty. All these spotlights and lasers emerged from the tops of all the skyscrapers, and they danced around to the music that was playing on our side of the harbor. It was a nice way to end the evening with Jess's grandparents, as they were tired and wanted to turn in on the boat. Jess and I continued to peruse the Kowloon streets, looking at shops while drinking some Sam Miguel tall boys. I think this is the real strategy when shopping with Jess. She looks in all these shops, and I wait. It becomes a lot more fun if I just drink beer while she shops. So that's what we did for the rest of the night in Kowloon.

Note: beer drinking shopping sprees become more difficult when bathrooms are few and far between. In the event of this happening in Kowloon, refer to Indian men fronting tailored suits for directions to the nearest bathroom.

The next morning we met the grandparents at the Peninsula hotel. Since we missed tea the afternoon before, we figured we'd grab ourselves a nice breakfast there. We took one last ride on the Star Ferry back to the island, where we did more walking and shopping. This time we showed the grand'rents all of the art galleries on and around Hollywood road. Time was getting close for me and Jess to make our way back to the mainland, so we subwayed up to Kowloon and grabbed a quick lunch at another Indian place. Our meal took some time before it was served, so we had to rush and even pack some of the naan bread to go. We said our goodbyes and caught the subway back up to the border. This time we actually had to wait in line, but we made it on our train just in time. I got off early in Nanchang, while Jess stayed on until Jiujiang. She had to teach classes that morning after getting off the train. Lucky for me, my week doesn't start until Wednesday, so I managed to go back to sleep that day.

Chinese 牛 Year

2009-03-09T13:21:00.042+08:00

Another tardy post going over events that occurred over a month ago. I've done a fair bit of traveling since, and I don't feel right not posting about the rest of my Spring Festival holiday first.

Jess and I headed up to Shanghai overnight from Nanchang, arriving there the morning before Spring Festival day. We spent a fair bit of time looking for the hostel Jess found online. I recommended we stay at a hotel by the train station, but Jess gave me a stern look when I suggested a sleazy looking place right by the ticket office. That could only mean one thing, so we caught a cab in pursuit of this hostel of which I can't even remember its name. Our cab driver had a hell of a time finding the little alley the hostel was situated in. It took some time and way too much money before we found it.

The people who run this hostel are actually quite lucky I forgot the name because it gets scathing reviews from me. We walked through the antique looking double doors into a very nice quaint lobby, including a small bridge that walks over a goldfish pond. All was looking well so far. Plus, beds were only 50 kuai a night. But this is for good reason, considering the quality of the room our beds were in. It was like a dark cave in the middle of this building. The only window looked out into the hallway, which was right next to the bathroom. A festering urine miasma lingered in the hall, which in turn lingered in our room. Plus it was freezing cold and some stooge was sleeping in my bed. I wanted out, so I got Jess out of her bed and we got our money back and left. This is when I waste our time looking for hotels all around the vicinity of the train station which were all sold out, all while Jess is grudgingly following my lead. I eventually brought us over to Captain Hostel on Fuzhou lu and The Bund and got us some hostel beds for 70 a night per person, with benefits. Each night's stay included a free breakfast, a discount at the Captain Bar (the hostel's rooftop bar which has one of the most spectacular views of the Shanghai Pudong skyline), and a free internet coupon. Not a bad deal, except that we had to stay in seperate rooms designated for either men or women. I think it was worth the extra dough and inconvinience of having different rooms considering it didn't resemble the cave-like residence of a stinky vagrant.

This was my sixth trip to Shanghai, but Jess's first. We spent our time walking the various tree-lined streets and avenues all around the Puxi side. I made sure to cop a few of those listings magazines, including That's Shanghai, City Weekend, and Shanghai Enjoy Classifieds, which were a lot of help as usual when looking for a nice place to eat or drink. Shopping ensued, legs got tired, naps followed. Everyday was utilized to the max and we slept well, or at least tried despite some of our inconsiderate room mates. Jess shared a room with a mother daughter combo who would wake up at 7am and bitch and yell at eachother the entire time they were getting ready. I had a couple of guys who liked to leave the lights on at all hours while they smoked cigarretes and did god knows what else up on their bunks all night. It drove my eyes and nose crazy.

After the whole ordeal of finding a room, our first day consisted of walking. We walked all along The Bund. We got on Nanjing lu and walked all the way down to its west side where the Ritz Carlton is. We scoped out a lot of the shopping opportunities we could share with Jess's mom for when she arrived. We found a pretty good Thai restaurant in one of the malls on Nanjing xilu, where I enjoyed a delicious Thai style salmon steak. Despite the energizing lunch, we were pretty beat from taking an overnight train from Nanchang that arrived at 5am, so we took a nice nap in my bed until that evening. We started out at the Captain Bar for a few drinks. Then we walked out to The Bund again to see all the Spring Festival revelry. There was plenty of souvenier hawkers and yangrou chuanr to go around. It was actually the worst yangrou chuanr I've ever had. It doesn't even deserve to be called yangrou chuanr. More like yangfei chuanr seeing that it was basically grilled lamb fat on a stick. Horribly seasoned too. There must have been a lot of opportunists who were definitely not soldiers of the scene when it comes to grilling a good lamb stick.

We moved on back to Nanjing lu to get a few drinks at Windows Underground. I forgot how amazing it feels to order a 10 kuai whiskey. Not since my study abroad in Beijing days have I had such a treat. There were a few performances at Windows Underground. The magic show was impressive. So was the bianlian (mask changing). Jess wasn't too thrilled about the skanky dancers that came on stage shaking and jiggling it. It got a lot of the guys' attention though. Especially the MC, who was a young tiny Chinese guy attempting to be a thuggish rapper, saying "oh yeah, shake that shit" over and over again with a nearly incomprehensible accent.

We rushed back to the Captain Bar before midnight to catch the crazy fireworks show all along the skyline. People were also sending off those flying red lanterns. It was bright and spectacular. Not to mention noisy. Shanghai's fireworks laws are actually enforced so it wasn't as impressive as I've seen in other smaller cities. Fortunately, the Pudong side has less of these restrictions so we managed to see a pretty good show from where we were standing.

The next day we got up for a brunchtime meal at the City Diner. I got a much needed quality burger (McDonald's really doesn't cut it in terms of actual burgers, and Nanchang doesn't have restaurants that sell quality burgers, nor will it seem to be getting a Burger King anytime soon). Jess's quesadillas were good too. It's alwasy nice to eat with your girlfriend when she doesn't want to finish her own meal.

We went to Garden Books afterwards and did a lot of browsing. It was amazing to see a decent foreign bookstore after just several months in Nanchang. The "foreign" bookstore in Nanchang is actually just a language study bookstore, and doesn't even have a selection of foreign language study books, which I found out about when searching for books for teaching Business English. I picked up two books, for which I paid a pretty penny. Bangkok Babylon: The Real-Life Exploits of Bangkok's Legendary Expatriates by Jerry Hopkins is about Bangkok's legendary expatriates, whom most of which belong to the baby boomer generation and are continuing to grow old (or die) in Bangkok's go-go bar scene. It's a pretty fun and engaging read. It's full of some real interesting and unbelievable life stories that make me wonder if one must be in just the right place at just the right time to have a life like that. I also bought The Road To Samarcand by Patrick O'Brian, which is turning out to be just a decent adventure book that uses a lot of old annoying Wade-Giles spellings of Chinese words and places.

After the bookstore, we moseyed up to the Moller Villa on Shaanxi lu, which has been described as a "fantasy castle in fairy-tale imperatorial garden villa-style boutique hotel located at the downtown Shanghai." The Moller Villa was built in 1936 and was used as a hotel then, and has since been renovated by the Hengshan Group where they rent its rooms for ridiculous sums of money to "single-eyed customers, dignitaries and celebrities with all the heart." It has a beautiful garden where Jess and I spent some time strolling. It's one of those unique sites you find in the middle of mega-modern-metropolis Shanghai, and has a sort of classic European feel with a Hasbro's Candyland edge.

We spent the rest of the day walking down Huaihai lu, where we found the yet to be open Barbie shop and spa (which is probably open now as I'm writing this). I'm pushing for Jess to work there as Barbie herself. We walked into the Westin on our way back to the Captain to get afternoon tea. We decided it was far overpriced and walked out, getting our afternoon tea at a nearby Family Mart, which ended up being an afternoon Gatorade with hot steamy baozi and cold onigiri. I'm loving the Japanese influence in Shanghai. Every corner seems to have either a Family Mart or a Lawson. They have pretty much all the things I loved about Japanese convenient stores, but cheaper. Plus, they're open all night.

We started that night at Tasca on Tongren lu for Burrito Mama night. It's every Monday and Tuesday. Beef burritos are 10 kuai, margaritas are 20, and beers are only 15. Pretty amazing deal if you ask me. I scarfed down a couple burritos and drank rita after rita. The place was empty besides us and two older gentlemen, one from Germany and one from the States who are both working in eastern China. They weren't aware of the deal that night because it isn't promoted very well. The waiter didn't even mention it to them as they ordered food and drinks which were far more expensive. I must have spent 100 kuai and got a good filling Tex-Mex meal and drunker than I could have expected for that amount of money. The two gentlemen joined us for those after-dinner margaritas we kept ordering. We moved on to a nearby bar afterwards and watched some pole-dancers shake their stuff. We were also the only ones in there and it seemed as if it was more of a pole-dancing practice session. We moved onto another bar called Goodfellas on Julu lu. It was another dive, much like the other bars on Julu lu, but the drinks were reasonably priced and the atmosphere was right. We parted ways with smiles and went to bed.

The next day we went over to the Pudong side to check out some tall buildings. We went into the Jinmao tower, where we saw the amazing interior of the Grand Hyatt. Definitely an essential destination when site-seeing in Shanghai. And if you have the money, stay there. It's awesome. We enjoyed the view from the top residence floor down to the cafe/lounge in the center, 30 floors down. The patrons look almost like ants from that high up, and it's all indoors. We eventually went down into the cafe, where I got an overpriced pot of pu'er tea, which was "not to be shared." You have to pay double if you want another cup to share with your mate. Ridiculous policy, but lucky for me, Jess isn't keen on hot drinks, so I enjoyed the tea by myself. I don't think I'll be going back to this cafe. Overpriced with snobby service. Looking up the vacuous beehive like interior from the bottom isn't as amazing as it is looking down from the top anyway.

We did a little relaxing and napping back at the Captain after our Pudong adventure. I found an all you can eat barbeque deal in one of the listings mags for that night at O'Malley's. The place is pretty nice. More of a bar atmosphere than a restaurant, but also catering to family's with small children (they have a big private playground in front of it). The all Filipino staff didn't help us when we walked in and weren't very friendly or helpful after we had claimed a table. They didn't even have the bbq we came for, so we ended up just leaving. I spotted a nice looking Indian place on the cab ride over, so we walked on up there for what was a much more satisfying meal than what O'Malley could have prepared that night. False advertisement is a huge no-no in my book so O'Malley's is dead to me.

Kaveen's Kitchen, the Indian place we found, is a great restaurant. It's located on Huashan lu, above the Old Manhattan Bar. It's small, cozy, and well decorated. The staff is swift, helpful, and charming. And the food is close to impeccable. I highly recommend the place to anyone who wants to combine Indian food with an intimate romantic dinner date. After dinner, we ended that night pretty early, spending the rest of it relaxing in the Captain's lobby before we went to bed.

The next day was more walking, site-seeing, and eating. We walked along The Bund again, looking for the Astor House, which interested us because we had heard about it in Rob Gifford's China Road, a book we're both very fond of. No luck. We found the old British Embassy, also featured in China Road. The old embassy and its surrounding buildings are beautiful, but also depressing, because they're on the chopping block to be replaced by new developments. A short walk from Nanjing lu and/or The Bund, we found a great little International restaurant called Puzzle. It offers many dishes from around the world and it's INCREDIBLY CHEAP! It was like we struck gold. Really good and fresh individual salads for under 10 kuai. Nice sized sandwiches of all varieties for around 12 kuai. Individual soups, also under 10. The pizza was also quite inexpensive and well made. And they had raw oysters, 2 for 10 kuai. I ordered the cobb salad, the smoked salmon sandwhich, and the oysters, which was only about 30 kuai. Amazing. This first trip to Puzzle wouldn't be the last during our few remaining days in Shanghai.

We went to Yuyuan for a walk around after lunch. I played a carnival style bb gun shooter game, where I got ripped off paying the guy too much money for it. It was all shopping after that. We went back to Garden Books for some dessert after I got tired of the crowds at Yuyuan. Jess got her beloved cheesecake, and I got some very tasty sorbet. It was a triple scoop threat, including strawberry, rasberry, and grapefruit. It's really fresh too. The grapefruit sorbet actually tastes like you're eating a fresh grapefruit. That evening was spent relaxing again. We got some Muslim knife-cut noodles around the corner from the Captain on Sichuan lu. Best Muslim noodles I've had in China. I met a few Xinjiang hawkers right around that area selling yangrou chuanr and that really dense peanut cake. I got me a few chuanr and a few grams of that cake, all while making friendly chat with the gentlemen selling them. Much better than those stooges on The Bund new year's eve.

We got up the next day and checked out of our hostel bunks and upgraded to a regular hotel room on the floor above. I got to take a nice shower in our newly acquired private bathroom. We discovered Shanghai has its own English language channel, as well as CCTV9. We watched an episode of Hannah Montana on this channel, which included short interludes where a young Chinese woman introduced "American slang" used in the show. Chinese viewers learned what "peace out" means this episode, along with "holy nuggets," which is apparently common southern American slang. I guess I learned a little something too this episode.

We went out for another lunch at Puzzle. This time I got the tom yum soup, another cobb salad, and the goose breast sandwhich. Another great and filling 30 kuai meal. Jess tried out the garlic pesto pizza, and it was pretty good for what it's worth. A little bland, but this restaurant is great and provides tobasco, so no problem when Jess shared her pizza with me. We hopped on the subway afterwards, towards the maglev, so we could pick up Jess's mom at the Pudong airport. She made it in on time and we cabbed back to the Captain. We spent that evening walking up Nanjing lu, followed by another meal at Kaveen's kitchen. We sure were hitting up a lot of the same places all throughout our short trip to Shanghai.

We thought Jess's mom would enjoy Yuyuan, so we went back there for more shopping. We explored some of the residential areas around Yuyuan that weren't touristy at all and discovered an outdoor food market, something Jess's mom wanted to see. I always hear that Shanghai is "too Western" or "too modern" or that is has "too many foreigners." Sure, it's very modern, and very Western compared to other places in China, but it still retains its Chinese-ness. There's tons of foreigners, but way more Chinese, of course. If you seek the West in Shanghai, you'll find it, no problem. If you seek China in Shanghai, you'll find that too. So like Bill Maher: New Rule! No more saying Shanghai isn't the "real" China. Go back and do a little more than what a Fodor's travel guide or That's Shanghai will tell you, and do a little exploring yourself. Meet the people who don't speak English and don't care about learning it. There's millions of them in Shanghai and they are very Chinese. Shanghai is just one example of China's diversity.

After Yuyuan, we went to walk around the French Concession area. More beautiful tree-lined streets, where colonial style architecture meets the modern. All the walking got our appetites going, and sure enough, we went back to Puzzle. The ladies enjoyed another pizza, and I got the ministrone soup, another cobb salad, and a club sandwich. Again, 30 kuai for all of that. The ladies paid even less for their meal. We went back to Pudong to show Jess's mom the tall buildings. We saw the Grand Hyatt again. The ladies walked around the shops in the World Financial Center, and I went up to the top in the Park Hyatt to see one of the most amazing views in Shanghai, without having to pay to go in some observatory. The Park Hyatt is actually the highest hotel in the world. Its lobby overlooks the entire Jinmao tower, which is 1,380 feet tall. The Shanghai World Financial Center stands at a whopping 1,614 feet, making it the second tallest skyscraper in the world. After making my way down to meet the ladies, I got a C.C. Lemon at a Family Mart, imported from Japan. It tasted as good as I remembered. More Japan nostalgia ensued when I used the high-tech toilets outside the Cold Stone at the bottom of the skyscraper.

We skipped dessert at Cold Stone and got it at Garden Books again instead. We showed Jess's mom the Moller Villa, and looked at various shops along Shaanxi lu, including the Robert De Niro shop. Not sure what that was all about, or if Robert even knows he has a shop named after him. We went back to the hotel to get our stuff and catch our train to Beijing that night. I got us some Burger King for the ride. We turned in pretty early on the train and woke up in Beijing the next morning.

We went directly to the Goldman's house after we finally got a cab outside Beijing Zhan. They were expecting us, but there was a little confusion, and we were there a day before they had expected. I had a key, so I let us in and we relaxed in front of the TV. A half naked Mr. Goldman was shocked when he came out into the living room to find us that morning. We all got cleaned up and sat chatting for a while, followed by a nice lunch at a really good Sichuan place across the street. I wasn't feeling all that great. Something I ate in Shanghai left me with no appetite and what seemed to be a stalled digestive system. Jess was sick with another type of stomach illness. I got her some antibiotics and la duzi medicine, and a couple things the pharmacists recommend I take for my ailment. I love how you can just by antibiotics and other drugs over the counter in China, while they remain restricted to perscription in America. This doesn't apply to all drugs, as I found when I additionally asked the pharmacists for valium and ecstasy.

This entire day was spent resting. Shanghai had wiped me and Jess out. All the traveling Jess's mom endured in a short span of time got her pretty beat too. We got up the next day with the grand plan of seeing the Great Wall. We got a cab to take us to the Mutianyu section of it. Beautiful day and not crowded. A perfect combination for a successful Wall visit. Jess's mom hasn't seen exercise in a while, so those up-and-down stairs wore her out pretty quick. I went a little farther and turned back when I felt good and tired. We rode the awesome toboggan slide down the mountain to where our cab was waiting. He took us to the Olympic Park, where Jess and her mom got to see the Bird's Nest and its surroundings. I had gone just a month earlier so I wasn't up for it again. We made some dinner plans with the Goldman's and some of their other friends when we got back. It was a delicious Thai restaurant called Very Siam. The food was great, but I still wasn't feeling well and that medicine wasn't working. I ended up losing my meal right after finishing it. Perhaps it was okay we didn't go to Purple Haze, my favorite Thai restaurant that I was planning on returning to this year. I'll enjoy it next time when I'm feeling better.

The next morning was the super bowl. Jess's mom got up early with the Goldman's and went to an Irish pub to watch the game. Jess and I happily slept in and rested up for the big day out ahead of us. We did the Forbidden City, walked around half its perimeter back to Tiananmen square, and then walked down to the Qianmen hutong area. They recently developed an old looking walking street in Qianmen, while also keeping many of the old hutong, including the most narrow one in Beijing. We hopped in a cab from there to Wangfujing, to see the infamous snack street. We acted only as onlookers by the many stalls that sold barbequed bugs and strange sea creatures. We got lunch at an overpriced noodle shop instead, which still didn't satisfy me because of my stomach problems. It was time to quit the medicine I had been recommended to take, and just self medicate by buying antibiotics.

The next day was another sleep in and rest day for me. The ladies went over to the Yaxiu market and did some serious shopping. They bought bags and bags of stuff. Jess fulfilled her shopping appetite in Beijing and her mom got to see what those Silk Market like places are all about. I had already done my winter time shopping a month earlier.

We hopped on another train that night to Harbin. The train was like a sauna. They really cranked the heat up, fearing the harsh climate of northeast China. The heat was unbearable and I barely got any sleep. We were riding hard sleeper this time. Jess's mom got to experience soft sleeper on our way up to Beijing, but now we were doing the real deal overnight train experience. She didn't have much luck getting up to the top bunk all while fully clothed in her jacket and warm clothes. And with the incredible heat, she requested we take soft sleeper for the rest of the trip.

We got in to Harbin early the next morning. It was still dark and bitterly cold. We found a hotel on the walking street pretty hastily. We got a nice suite, which included a flat screen TV and a computer with free internet. We napped off most of that morning in the hotel, then walked down walking street. We discovered that all outgoing train tickets to Beijing were sold out for that week. We ended up having to double down and get plane tickets. After procuring the tickets, we found a nice little ice activity center by the river and walking street and went down a really fast ice slide. You hop on a sled and the operator pushes you down. I was the first to go and didn't see anyone else go before me. I was going so fast down, I didn't know how I'd stop, except by running into this dirt mound at the end. That didn't sound too enticing, but fortunately the end of the slide is covered in rubble, so the sled managed to slow down and stop before hitting the mound. We then paid a man in a horse drawn carriage to take us accross the frozen river to a snow sculpture park on Sun Island. We admired the sculptures and played a little bit on the giant snow structures.

We walked back across the river. Pretty amazing. The ice was yards thick. I couldn't see where it ended, even where it was cracked. These thick sheets of ice are harvested for the ice sculptures and buildings, for which we would see that night at the Ice and Snow World. But first, we got lunch at a relatively well known restaurant that serves Dongbei food. I didn't really know what to order, the ladies don't eat meat (common in Dongbei food), and my stomach was still bothering me, so it didn't turn out to be a very good meal. But the Ice and Snow World made up for it. What an amazing place! Like Disneyland made of ice, and this wasn't even the actual Disney themed ice park which is in downtown Harbin. Ice and Snow world is located outside the city and is huge. There are giant ice structures all around it, lit up with a medley of colorful lanterns. The ice slides would have to be my favorite part. Jess and I had many runs down the intermediate ones, where you slide down as is, without a sled. I waited in line for the giant advanced slide, where you do go down on a sled and actually crash into a mound of snow at the end. I was already freezing from waiting in line. Standing on cold ice stairs will really chill you. Then my final descent into the snow mound had me covered in powder, which kind of melted on my face, then froze again. It felt like Jess was rubbing sand paper on my face when she tried to dust it off with her glove. I ran into a coffee house to warm up, where we got cups of hot chocolate with mysterious white lumps in them.

After we got our fill of ice festivities, we went back downtown, where we got a late-night McDonald's dinner. I was almost starting to feel better at this point. The next morning we got up and ate breakfast at this Russian cafe right on walking street. Delicious home-made bread and Russian style tea made for a good start of the day. We caught a cab over to the tiger park in the north of the city. Now that place was a trip! You get in a bus full of tourists and it takes you into the fenced off grounds of the park, kind of like Jurassic Park. There's tigers everywhere just hanging out. Then there was lions everywhere. Then ligers everywhere. I really felt bad for the lions, since the bitter cold Heilongjiang climate doesn't much resemble the African savanna at all. I guess the ligers have half the Siberian blood of the tigers, so they must have been okay. At the end of the bus tour comes the walking observatory area. It's a caged in walkway, situated inside another caged in area for the tigers. Here you can buy live animals and strips of meat to feed the tigers. One man bought a live chicken, which was tied to a wooden pole by the animal vendor. I think this video I took speaks for itself.

At the end of the walkway comes some smaller cages full of wild cats. Leopards, jaguars, cheetahs, panthers, white lions, white tigers, and more ligers. They were all very beautiful, but still sad to see these African climate animals caged up in the freezing cold north of China.

After we got back into town, we met up with a friend of mine I met over at Jiangxi normal. Siwen greeted us on walking street with a friend of her's. I wanted a real Dongbei meal with people who knew what they were ordering, so we went to a famous dumpling restaurant. And damn, I've never eaten so many dumplings in my life. They basically ordered the entire menu. The ladies couldn't even kill the veggie dumplings, and I was basically expected to eat all the meat dumplings myself, which outnumbered the veggie ones. The stomach problems hadn't fully gone away, so this was quite a feat. I came close and finished the beef and mutton ones, but couldn't get through all the pork. Siwen and company brought us over to this famous ice cream place, where crowds of people line up to eat these Harbin style cream popsicles. They were really fantastic, despite it being so cold. I would like to eat one of these popsicles everyday now for the rest of my life. We walked over to the St. Sophia church afterwards and took some nice photographs. We did a little shopping in the underground market, then parted ways.

We got some food at the Russian cafe again, and then went over to the Disney themed ice park in the middle of town. Not as amazing as the Ice and Snow World, but still a lot of fun. I spent most of the time going down slides, while Jess and her mom admired the ice sculptures. The Disney theme was all good and fun, and it provided some good picture opportunities, but the staff was really unfriendly. They must have been tired of dealing with little brats in the cold all day.

We rushed back to the hotel after the Disney-iceland, and got our bags and a cab to the airport. Security was tight, but the line was short, so we were at our gate in no time. The flight was over before we knew it and we got a cab back to the Goldman's place. I went out to get our return train tickets to Jiangxi that night, for which we would depart the next evening. The next morning and afternoon was again spent resting and recuperating from the travel and cold of Dongbei. We ordered Papa John's and pigged out for a while, then got on our train. Jess and her mother got off at Jiujiang early the next morning. I stayed on until the final stop, Nanchang, my home.

It was a great trip overall. I feel that Jess's mom got a good winter tour of the country. It's hard to do a lot in so little time in such a vast country as China, especially during the winter. Winter time kind of knocks out a lot of places of interest, except for Harbin of course. Beijing and Shanghai may be nicer during other seasons, but they essentially remain the same in terms of tourism. Jess got to show her mom what Jiujiang is all about. They had a nice time doing the mother/daughter thing, while I was starting work that week. They came to Nanchang that weekend, where we celebrated one of my co-workers birthdays, who I will refer to as Dundee because of his Australianess. It was a lovely fancy Chinese style dinner at the 0791 on Fuzhou lu. This was followed by a long KTV session on Minde lu, another first for Jess's mom. We showed her a few sites here and there in Nanchang the next day, including a lovely meal at Le Bistro. She departed that Sunday morning for Shanghai, to catch her flight home. Jess also departed, but for Jiujiang because she was starting work the following day. Jess's mom definitely enjoyed her time here, and I was glad to show her around. She seems set on coming back, so we're excited about showing her something new for next time.

Spring Festival Holiday Intermission

2009-02-17T14:12:00.015+08:00

The Spring Festival holiday was a major success this year. All the talk of train station and ticket procuring nightmares didn't really affect me much. In fact, for most of the holiday, I've never seen train stations emptier. After my parents said goodbye in Beijing, I brought Mike down to Nanchang. We had a sort of grand plan of hiking around Jiangxi province . We hard sleeper'd it on the Z67, giving Mike his first Chinese train adventure. We spent a great bit of time in the dining car eating dinner and drinking beers. Oddly enough, it seemed Pabst Blue Ribbon had cornered the Chinese train market, as it was the only beer available to us.

We arrived in Nanchang on a cool misty morning. The McDonald's breakfast we got upon arrival was a little disappointing. I thought the breakfast sandwiches would be served on English muffins like they do, but instead I got a cheeseburger with an egg on it. We went back to my place afterwards feeling more unhealthy than we had before we ate. I seem to forget this whenever I'm about get McDonald's again. Anyways, we were tired and just chilled out in my cold apartment watching American Psycho, followed by American Psycho 2: All American Girl, which I wish I could erase from my memory. One of those films that should just not have been made.

Chilling at my place was a pretty common theme during Mike's visit. Our hiking plans kept getting delayed because we'd spend our nights out at the bars and the clubs having a wicked drunk time, where the next morning would be spent sleeping, and the next afternoon would be spent watching some sort of DVD and talking about hiking the next day. This went on for several days. Jess wasn't all that thrilled since she had come up with the hiking plan. I guess the only bright side to not going hiking was that the weather was crap. Nanchang winters can be nasty. But the nights out weren't to be regretted. Mike was a big hit with the lady clubbers of Nanchang.

He went back to Beijing after about five days or so. Jess and I then had a couple days to ourselves. Afterwards, I headed over to Changsha with Dmitri, just to try it out and see what there was to see. It's only a few hours away afterall. Turned out to be a pretty great city. For one, I like Hunan food. Changsha has a reputation for its cuisine. And its street food should not be left out of this. I've never had any interest in trying chou doufu (stinky tofu). I've smelt it enough times to know I wouldn't want to taste it. Imagine a yak defacating on another yak that happens to be dead and decaying. That's what comes to my mind at least when I've passed a chou doufu vendor. But Dmitri is a street food enthusiest, and chou doufu is pretty high on his list. If I was ever to try it, I'd at least want the best. And Changsha is supposed to have the best. I was a little nervous at first, but I got myself an order, and wow was it good! It doesn't taste anything like it smells. That's actually just an odor from the deep frying process. The texture, juiciness, and flavor was just incredibly good. This was the black chou doufu mind you. I've yet to try the yellow type.

Changsha's street food goes beyond chou doufu. One of Dmitri's students is a local of Changsha and he was kind enough to take us around town to see some sights. One of our favorite stops was a restaurant that specializes in street food. Though not as good as the stuff you actually find on the street, it was a good introduction to everything. And we ate a lot. Our table was just about overflowing with dishes. This student also took us to another famous place in Changsha called the Window To The World. It's an amusement park aimed at children and shy couples. Not the kind of place three grown men go to for kicks. We decided on not paying the hefty entrance fee and opted to just checking out the Martyrs Park. Nice park too. Lots of cool buildings and folk activity going on. China has this amazing old generation that hangs out in parks and squares all day talking, singing, dancing, and playing games. Changsha had a lot of this going on everywhere actually. We heard our fair share of Changsha opera out and about. Seemed this city had more of this type of activity than other places I've been to. Another great locale for this is along the river right by Dufu's mansion. It's a beautiful riverside walkway that has a lot of lively streetlife activity going on.

Nights in Changsha were spent out at the bars and the clubs. One peculiar thing I found in Changsha was its beer fetish. Most any bar you go to in Changsha has a variety of imported beer that you would not find in other parts of China, even in Beijing and Shanghai. All sorts of ales, lagers, stouts, and hefeweizens. Some even come on tap. There's dozens of these bars too. Most of the ones we found were at least walking distance from the main walking street. In fact, there's two new actual "bar streets" near walking street that also don't allow automobiles. They are paved with old looking stone, giving them a charming olde time feel. We explored a few of these bars, finding the only foreign owned one. Hooligans Pub is owned by a Frenchman named Pierre who had spent most of his life in America. He made us feel right at home in his bar and introduced us to some of the other expats. Real mixed, interesting, and friendly crowd of all ages. I even happened to meet a fellow former Hampshire College student. Imagine the odds when most foreigners in China have never even heard of the place.

We also spent some time partying with some local Changsha people at the 9.Cool club. We simply walked in just the two of us and bought a bottle of vodka. After a few rounds of perudo, we were invited over to a booth by a middle aged man. They had already ordered two bottles of whiskey. He was spending his night partying with some old college classmates. All the toasting of whiskey and vodka mixed with tea got us pretty gone. After parting ways with them outside the club, we checked out a late night food place. Got our ususal ganbian tudousi and ganbian doujiao (deep fried shredded potatoes and deep fried green beans). I lost this late night meal after I stupidly took a few puffs of this cigarette a man gave me at the restaurant. I had been turning down cigs from people all night at the club, and when I finally give in, it propels the food out of my guts. Tobacco and I haven't mixed well together for a long time, which I'm quite happy with. I should just stop checking to see if it's still the case and never smoke it again.

The few days I spent in Changsha were brilliant. I really like that city. Definitely wouldn't mind being posted there. It has a unique and flavorful air to it. The culture and history are deep-rooted to it. The cuisine, both on and off the street, is delectable. Hunan cuisine sort of reminds me of Sichuan cuisine, but without the numbing pepper. Really spicy, but no annoying whole piece numbing peppers. The winter weather didn't seem to be as wet and windy as Nanchang too, so another plus.

Dmitri and I got back to Nanchang late. We spent the next morning and afternoon with Will back in Liantang. We were invited over to his girlfriend's place, where her mother cooked us a feast. They force fed me pig's feet and baijiu, two things I'm not too crazy about. We spent the rest of the time playing majiang while I suffered from the baijiu burps. Later, I got a train ticket up to Jiujiang to see Jess. We had ourselves a few lazy days with some nice dinner dates here and there. Nanchang was about dead by the time we had gotten back from Changsha. Lucky for Jess, she at least lives downtown in Jiujiang. Out in the Yaohu suburb of Nanchang, businesses depend on the student population. Businesses all seemed to close up shop, as all the students went home for the holiday. Besides the dinner and KTV birthday bash we had for Dmitri, there was really no point in hanging around at my place, and Jiujiang was getting a little boring, so we decided to head on up to Shanghai for Spring Festival eve. Jess's mom was flying into Shanghai several days after that, so we thought why not hang out in the big city and have some fun. This story will follow in my next post.

New Year's (proper) In Beijing

2009-01-12T14:16:00.018+08:00

I took my folks up to Beijing a few days after Christmas. They originally wanted to go by air, but I insisted on train. It may take longer, but it's just so much more relaxing. I'd rather get on a train at night and wake up early the next morning at my destination. I feel like it saves a lot of energy overall. No security hassle. The train station security check-point is almost a joke. You just sort of move along through the metal detector that never goes off, and I'm not even sure if they look at the screen when the bags go through the x-ray. You can also show up just a few minutes before you board, so waiting around in the waiting room isn't necessary. "Hard sleeper" didn't sound appealing to my folks, so I went all out and got us soft sleeper tickets. A little less than 500 kuai each from Nanchang to Beijing (would have been 300 if we went hard sleeper). Our room was nice. Private. Four beds between the three of us. There was even an electrical outlet, so I got to play computer games and watch movies without having to conserve my battery power. I ended up watching Mongol before I fell asleep. Epic movie. Really well done.

We arrived at the Beijing west station pretty early the next morning. We cabbed over to the east side of the city, Chaoyang District, to stay with our family friends who live and work in Beijing. I'll just refer to them as the Goldman's for their own privacy. Now, we've all been to Beijing before. I went with my parents back in 2001, so we saw all the essential sites already. Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven, Drum Tower, etc. There wasn't much touristy stuff left for us to do besides the Olympic village, which is now the top destination for visitors of Beijing. Even the ones who have never been. They're generally choosing the Bird's Nest over the Forbidden City or Great Wall. Pretty amazing what this 2008 Olympics has done for the Chinese. And wow, it was impressive. Definitely worth checking out.

Nicotine patch vending machine--NO SMOKING

Christmas doesn't end until Chinese New Year

I finally went ice skating in the Guomao mall. That was something I had wanted to do while studying/interning in Beijing in 2007. Even having lived in the Central Business District in 07, still never got around to it. I went with my good friend Mike, and his sister who I will refer to as Kara. One of the Goldman kids recommended we have a few drinks before the ice skating, so we checked out a restaurant right next to the rink and a had several rounds. After we got good and buzzed, we hit the ice. No seriously, we hit it. We tried having a sliding on your belly across the ice contest. Some personal ice skating trainer stopped us, claiming we were engaging in dangerous activity. Not only would we hurt other ice skaters, we would hurt ourselves. We were reminded of this again by the same trainer when we tried doing a three person held hand circle spin in the middle of the rink. And again when we tried skating as a three person train. This trainer was scolding us and she didn't even work there. "There is a tournament this week and we need to train!" she said. "This is a public place" we responded. Regardless if this kid needed to train, this woman has no authority to tell us what to do in a public skating rink. Go to a proper sports facility if you want to train professionally.

On New Year's Eve we checked out this party in the 798 Art District put on by Zen. It was a sort of warehous rave event, but with a proper bar. Pretty good fun overall. The music was great, the lights were spot on, and the drinks were strong. Everything was good besides the young Chinese man who threatened to take my life. Kara bumps in to his friend, I apalogized for her and started chatting, then a hand grabs my hair and I hear a voice, "if you touch my friend again I will kill you." Perhaps he was the jealous type. I bitched out in a sense by just walking off. I awoke the next afternoon wishing I had elbowed him in the eye. But all in all, probably better I just walked off. A life could have been taken, or just put into a Chinese prison.

Otherwise, the Beijing trip was spent eating. I had a list of restaurants I've been missing since leaving Beijing in 07. I got Indian food at Ganges twice. One of my favorite restaurants in Beijing. Was introduced to a new favorite, Three Men From Guizhou, fancy Guizhou enthic fare including Guizhou style salad, mashed potatoes, and roast pork. The Goldmans brought us out to the new Kro's Nest branch at Workers Stadium north gate. The pizzas were still massive, but actually a little smaller. It seemed the mediums and larges are about the same size now. We got the free draft beer deal the night we went. Meaning the first two tapped kegs are free until they run out, then every additional glass of beer is 5 kuai, or should have been 5 kuai. That's what was advertised on Kro's listing in both City Weekend and Time Out Beijing. The manager, a young caucasion gal, American I assume, insisted that the beers were 10 kuai, claiming they have no control over what they have listed in those magazines. I somehow don't buy that considering they pay to be listed. She pulled the biggest no-no when she said, "come on guys, it's only 10, you have the money." Of course we have the money! 10 is still cheap for a beer, but that's besides the point. We want what you advertise. We should have at least got that first round for 5 kuai out of good service. Shame on Kro's for turning into one of those types of restaurants.

Speaking of those types of restaurants. My Peking Duck hankering wasn't completely satisfied. We checked out Da Dong at Dong Sishitiao. Supposed to be one of the best in Beijing. And the duck was very good. It's just when you throw down a pretty penny for two whole ducks, you want to at least get your two whole ducks. They brought the ducks over and the chefs carved them up for us. They put the first cut of meat on the table, and we dug in. Then when I looked around, the chefs and our ducks were gone. When we inquired, they claimed the rest of the ducks would go into a soup at the end of the meal. We got the soup at the end of the meal, sure enough. It's just that the soup was served in these tiny bowls and there was nothing in them besides a piece of lettuce or two. Maybe they had used duck bones to make the soup, and a little lettuce to be fair, but not much else. They basically conned us for those ducks. They apparently pride themselves on serving only the finest cuts of roast duck, but somehow, the rest of the duck disapears. Some racket they have going on. Shame on Da Dong too.

I realize how negative this post has become. Other food experiences were great though. Took my dad out to Zhongguancun to get his Blackberry fixed. That was great in itself. The guy cracked that Blackberry open, found the problem, saudered in some new parts, closed it up, and there you go. 40 kuai. We got a much needed lunch out in the Haidian area. Hit up one of my Beijing Daxue favorites. A little Tonkatsu place by Wudaokou station. Prices had gone up unfortunately, but good filling meal as usual. Mrs. Goldman cooked some great food as usual too. Spicy migas for breakfast just about every morning. Had some good homemade reuben sandwiches pre Zen party on new year's.

Other than the usual eating I so prioritize and other outside activities, I just sort of hung around the Goldman's place. The Goldman's have a new Nintendo Wii, where we downloaded some retro games, including Streets of Rage 3, an all time classic Sega Genisis game. We managed to beat the game on hard mode, but failed to get the perfect score which included the perfect ending. We'll have to wait until Mike returns next year.

Christmas In Nanchang

2009-01-11T15:45:00.007+08:00

My folks came over to Nanchang for Christmas. I managed to impress my parents with Nanchang. Mainly with its cuisine. Hard to top actually. It's tough talking up Nanchang to people in the bigger cities, but for those who have actually been to it, they usually know what's good.

My dad was especially fond of the local food out by campus. Dirty little restaurants with phenomonally cheap and delicious food. Yuxiang rouse (fish fragrant shredded pork) and the tieban niurou (iron skillet beef) was the tops at the Close Restaurant for lunch on Christmas eve. For dinner that night we went to the Rowdy Chinaman down the street for some more tasty dishes. The ganbian sijidou (deep fried green beans) and ganbian tudouse (deep fried potato shreds--french fries essentially, but Chinese and with a lot more ingredients) impressed. Not to mention the new favorite, tieban qiezi (iron skillet eggplant). Christmas day we got lunch by the main gate. Hongshao quanyu (whole fish fried in soy sauce) amazing as usual.

We ate an actual Western Christmas dinner that night at the Detox restaurant on the Starwalk. The chef cooked us up some turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and all that classic American food. Pretty good, but I still think Le Bistro on Rongmen Lu does it better. We ended up going there a couple days later for a nice dinner. Some of the best food we've all eaten, period. Amazing how you can find such a great French restaurant in a city like Nanchang, where foreign food is sparse.

Food aside, Christmas itself was lovely. We weren't going all out too much on the gifting. I got a bunch of books and food basically. I quite like consumable Christmas presents. Now I have tons to eat and read at home during my long Spring Festival break.One of my co-workers threw out this ratty artificial Christmas tree that was sitting around his apartment. I took it and set it up in the corner of my living room. It was missing a stand, so I used an empty water containter to hold it up, weighted with dirty tap water. I think it's going to stay up all year. My place is pretty bland. Blank walls, aside from the little stickers on random household furnishing and appliances that have the Chinese names on them, left by the previous tenant, who I assume was trying to learn Chinese. This person left a few Christmas decorations here too, so it's only natural I keep the tree up.

It's nice to feel that Christmas spirit during the holidays. That's something I tend to miss when overseas. I tend to miss it in the States sometimes too. Shame really, but maybe next year will be different. There's Christmas decorations all around town. A lot of them are still up right now, and probably will be til Spring Festival. That Christmas energy that's in the air just isn't here though. Spring Festival is coming up and I'm actually starting to feel that energy, with all the locals getting ready to celebrate. Problem for me is, they'll all be celebrating with their families at home, so all of my favorite restaurants are going to be closed for several days for the holidays. I'm going to have to get out of here, because I really don't want to cook every meal in my measely kitchen. These restaurants have slowed down a lot anyway now that school is out.

Jess and I are planning on going to Shanghai for the festival. I think Nanchang will be a lot more impressive for the eve of, mainly because the fireworks restrictions are not enforced at all. In fact, we have nightly fireworks shows here, put on by bored students. I experienced Chinese New Year in Taiyuan, Shanxi province two years ago and it was unbelievable. A huge fireworks display on every block. Makes the 4th of July look like child's play. I can imagine Nanchang will be comparable to that. Shanghai though, probably not so much. Too much law. But nothing is going to be open here, so that's the trade off.

Larry David Teaching English In Nanchang

2008-12-10T13:47:00.010+08:00

I teach college freshmen here in Nanchang. I have my Business English majors in my Oral English classes and my English Majors in my Pronunciation classes. Now, my Oral classes are all taught in crummy classrooms with no media capabilities, air-conditioning/heating, or even a chair for myself. My Pronunciation classes, on the other hand, aren't bad at all. I get a nice comfy chair, we have climate control, plus there's computer monitors and headphones at every desk, which I have complete control of. I wasn't given any direction on what to do in my Oral classes. No book or anything. Just "teach" they said. I actually have a book to follow in Pronunciation, making my job a bit easier. We finished this book pretty recently, and I was trying to think of new methods of teaching English that I haven't used on my Oral students.

I naturally thought of utilizing some sort of media, given the capability. And what better media to use teaching everyday English than Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm. It has very nonchalant conversation, using very common oral English. It covers an array of situations that are extremely relevant to modern-day American customs and culture. It just has Larry David's take on it, and shows how he wishes he could handle these everyday situations that seem to frustrate him to no end.

First off, my media capabilities weren't as capable as I thought. The USB drive wasn't working in one of my classes. I resolved this mistake by burning the video clips onto a CD for the next time. But then in another class the CD drive didn't work. Fortunatley, the USB did, but then half the monitors wouldn't turn on. One class actually worked without a hitch, so I can't complain too much.

I'd have to say Larry David did a pretty good job teaching everyday English. The class that had no technical difficulties thoroughly enjoyed it. They found Larry's insesant arguing amusing, and actually found it to be pretty humorous overall once all the language and cultural situations were explained. Take this clip for example.

They see an example of how trick or treating works, or some Halloween mischief rather. They get introduced to the concept of hate crimes, which I can further explain the prevalence of racism, prejudice, and the insistence of being politically correct in America. And lastly, the lamentation of bald men in America. The English subtitles were also quite helpful.

Then there's this one.

More PC'ness is explained, and how sensitive people can be about something as minute as saying handicapped instead of disabled. I hear a lot of students say "you are so black!" in English when talking to a friend who has a dark tan. I have to tell them to say "dark" instead of "black," as some foreigners may be offended. Heard the word negro a number of times too, when students simply refer to black people. People in China definitely aren't shy about saying "you're fat" if you are in fact fat. This is all good and well, but I think learning PC'ness is essential for English majors who may go abroad or deal with many foreigners in their future. After all, I've heard of foreign teachers here being offended when students refer to them as "foreign teachers." Perhaps I shouldn't encourage PC'ness. But back to the clip; I can also show the large presence of hanidapped facilities in America. Something that may seem odd to my students, seeing that there's virtually no handicapped facilities in Nanchang. New vocabulary: archaic, demeaning, stutter, etc. Then there's Larry's victory in the end, "well looky here!," and his sarcastic spiel about being able-bodied, rather than normal. I don't see a lot of sarcasm in the Chinese language. Nothing like it is in the West, so this is helpful in showing the use of language in American culture.

There's plenty more clips I showed. The sample abuser, the annoying guy on bluetooth, Larry's averseness to sitting by the emergency exit on the airplane. And since the students are Chinese, the profanity is no big deal. It's not like it's going to offend anyone. I do keep the sexual stuff out of the lesson, as the students may feel uncofortable or confused. And I don't even bother explaining some of the Jewish lingo. Overall, pretty successful. Definitely something different from any video they've probably seen to help them with their English. Way more realistic than Friends I'd say. I'd prefer something like this in Chinese for my own use. Not like watching CCTV9's Sports Chinese where the conversation is so unnatural, unrealistic, and poorly acted.

Day Out In Liantang / Night Out In Nanchang

2008-12-08T17:37:00.011+08:00

Another weekend gone like dust in the wind. It was Jess's turn to come down and see me in Nanchang. I met her at the train station as usual. Happened to see a few of my students there as it turns out. Upon telling them I was waiting for my girlfriend, I got the usual "I hear your girlfriend is very beautiful!" I'm glad they all think so, but it can be a bit much sometimes. A few weeks ago, Jess sat in on one of my classes and she got a roaring "waaahhhhhhh" of amazement when she walked in the room. Fortunately when my students at the train station finally set eyes on her, they played it pretty cool.

I had a hankering for something Muslim, so we checked out this Xinjiang Uighur restaurant down the way. It caught my eye while I was walking down the street about a week ago. Looked kinda cool and exotic from the outside. Turned out to be a pretty standard "dirty restaurant by the train station" except Uighur owned. The food was quite nice though, as dirty restaurants tend to be. But dirty restaurants by the train station tend to break this rule. Why is that? And come to think of it, every Chinese restaurant I've been to in downtown Nanchang, be it expensive, classy, hole-in-the-wall, or mid-grade hasn't compared to some of the inexpensive family owned places out by school in Yaohu District, which are all somewhat dirty. The main gate of N.I.T. has some good ones, and the alley way between N.I.T. and the Foreign Studies college has even more.

But back to the Uighur place: we ordered a mix of Chinese standard fare, i.e. fried eggs with tomatoes, and some Uighur deliciousness, i.e. lamb skewers and the Chicken Big Plate. The Chicken Big Plate is a big plate of chicken parts (abnoxious bones included) mixed with spicey peppers, chunks of potatoes, onions, all soaked in a delectable spicey tomato based broth. Sort of like chicken soup for a real man's soul. Chicken Big Plate also includes a side of flat wheat noodles that can be added to the dish. This was all good and well, but the service wasn't so friendly. We were the only customers in the restaurant for god's sake, with 7 people just sitting around watching some Central Asian TV, and when we finish eating and stand up and grab our coats and reach for our wallets, it still took them a bit of time to acknowledge us. I got an un-enthusiastic it's 70 kuai (in Chinese that is) from one of the women enjoying the Central Asian television programming, who failed to make any sort of eye-contact. Moreover, when we went up outside on the sidewalk, where more restaurant employees sell homemade nan bread, we were met with more anti-enthusiasm and coldness when giving them business. I guess I'm too spoilt with the warm-heartedness you get from your typical Han Chinese run restaurant. All of this aside, I may go back to try the Mutton Big Plate.

The following morning, my buddy Will, a student over at Jiangxi Normal, retrieved Jess and I for a day out in his hometown of Liantang. It's only about a half hour drive, if not less, from Yaohu District. We were warmly greeted by Will's father and Will's good childhood friend, who just completed a military service bid in Fujian province. His mom was toiling away in the kitchen, preparing a feast for the ages.

Will took us to Liantang's central park, which was designed by his father, a government employed architecht. The park is beautiful and serene. It sits atop a nice little lake, that I'm sure keeps the Liantang locals cool during those grueling summer months. We decided to take out a small recreational boat to enjoy the scenery and soak up some of that cold, but fresh Nanchang air. Air in big Chinese cities is often brown and full of harmful particles of pollution, but Nanchang has more good days than bad due to its windiness. One thing I'm loving about Nanchang actually, even though I hate wind. It's a bit of a trade off when I'm capable of seeing stars at night and not coming home from a day out with a nose full of black mucus.

Anyways, the boat ride was nice. It was motorized and I got to drive too. I felt special, even though it only went 7km/h. By the time we had almost completely circled the lake, we noticed something afloat in the water. It was a piece of wood, acting as a bouy. And behold, a huge flipping fish was struggling to get out of this harmfully constructed net. Will picked it up to get a better look. Our appetites all started taking off (well, I don't know about Jess's since she's not much of a fish person). Its illegal to fish in the lake, and considering Will's father's position, it would be pretty lousy to get caught. He ended up tossing it back in. I thought we had enough space when I started up the engine. As we started moving, I saw the fish/net getting sucked closer and closer to the back of the boat. And before we knew it, the net had got caught. Then we noticed a fish eye-ball slowly drifting away. The motor was jammed. Fortunately, the boat renting office number was largely printed on the boat, so help arrived in a few moments. But the rescuers seemed more interested in getting the fish for themselves rather than helping us. They told us they'd be right back with a bucket. We sort of sat in disbelief. Not like they couldn't tow us back to shore with the fish still attached to our boat. After fiddling with the ignition somemore, I got the engine started. We headed back on our own. The renters managed to catch up to us, to get their prize. I reckon it was their illegal net anyway.

Big Fish

The Rescue Team

We headed back to Will's as our lively morning slipped into afternoon. The food was ready. And what a feast it was! There was about ten dishes for the four of us. Most of which had potatoes. Jess and I had taken Will out to a Thai restaurant a few weeks ago, and most of the dishes we ordered there happened to have potato in them, so he assumed Jess and I were potato fanatics. Well, Jess kinda is. We stuffed our goards, then relaxed on the couch for a little afternoon soap opera. We followed that up with a little walking and shopping. Jess and I headed out around 3pm for a little nap before the night out in Nanchang.

We started the evening with some Lanzhou noodles by N.I.T. main gate, accomponied with the psudonymed Dmitri. We headed downtown to Star Walk, thinking we'd check out the Grammy club. A Chinese co-worker of mine, Cici, met us there shortly after, followed by my British co-worker who I will refer to as Mr. Daily. We got a small table in the corner of the club and got ourselves a bottle of vodka with green tea mixer. We had a great time, but I was not at all impressed with Grammy. I've only gone clubbing in Nanchang a handful of times so far, and only spent any real time at Babyface and CD Bar. Grammy looked nicer than both, but I have to say, all that glitters is not gold (taught my students that one a couple weeks ago). Lousy service, bad lighting, and subpar music. The music tends to be subpar in Jiangxi clubs, but at least give me some good service and good lighting! That's something Babyface can accomplish. And Babyface is everywhere! The good old elitist will tell you that, followed by a "don't go there because it's a chain," but dammit, that's because they do a better job than a lot of these other places.

We capped the night at the BC Bar, actually owned by my co-worker Mr. Daily. His bar has a very mature atmosphere to it, yet very un-elitist. Good beer on bottle too. To all my Mexican beer drinkers out there, they have Sol and Corona. No Dos Equis though.

Sunday whizzed by as Jess and I lazed around the house. This seems to happen every weekend. The time just flys, and before we know it, one of us has to leave and go back to our respective places of work. All in all, a pretty eventful weekend. All I would have added is that damn fish to our luncheon feast.

A Very Jiangxi Thanksgiving

2008-12-03T13:46:00.009+08:00

Last week's Thanksgiving celebration went quite well. Better than expected actually. I explained the history and concept of the American Thanksgiving to every one of my classes last week. I gave the PC version of the history, and explained the food as best as I could.

"Do you know what a turkey is?"
"A chicken!"
"No, chickens are small in comparison."

I gave the hand width measurements of your average turkey, and was met with a long drawn out "aahhhhh!" from my students. Turkey in Chinese, 火鸡, literally means fire chicken. Hinting that a turkey is a type of chicken. This, of course, is not the case. Turkey's go gobble gobble I explained. I won't even try to write the Chinese version of cluck cluck, but believe it or not, they use different noises to imitate animals. For example, our woof woof is weng weng in Chinese.

Thanksgiving Thursday came around and I was met with dozens of text messages from students and friends, all wishing me a happy Thanksgiving. I also received a lot of "thank you's" which was nice. But all the thankfulness and cheer wasn't satisfying my natural tendencies towards Thanksgiving. A guy really needed to eat a turkey.

A fellow I know from one of the bars in town recently started up a website. www.nanchangexpat.org. There was a Thanksgiving dinner announcement in the forum. Le Bistro in downtown Nanchang was having a turkey dinner special for 150 kuai.

I informed the colleagues. No one was really feeling it besides my friend who I will refer to as Amber. We caught a black cab into town after work. The restaurant wasn't too crowded to my surprise. It seemed as if only half of Nanchang's expat community was out for Thanksgiving dinner.

Le Bistro's food is superb. It's a French restaurant run by a nice young man named Justin, who I believe is French. He and his staff cooked up quite the meal. Imagine Thanksgiving dinner, French gourmet style. There was hot spiced red wine and a delicious creamy pumpkin soup to start. Then for the main course was an aesthetically pleasing plate full of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, mixed green salad, and green bean casserole. For dessert was green tea ice cream with a very French gourmet style apple pie. I must say, I prefer good old American homemade apple pie. But regardless, it was a top notch Western meal, which I had not experienced for a long time. The meal left me with borderline orgasmic feelings.

Unfortunately, Jessica could not join me for Thanksgiving dinner at Le Bistro. She still had work in Jiujiang that week. From what I hear, she went out with a friend and got some duck. We managed to have our own Thanksgiving dinner together on Saturday night in Jiujiang. Jessica's family was kind enough to send her some key elements of a Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey with gravy and stuffing somehow packaged fresh was sent, along with instant mashed potatoes, canned green beans, cream of mushroom soup, peas, corn, and cranberry sauce--jelly-like stuff.

It all turned out quite good for mail order Thanksgiving dinner. I was impressed. Jess did a fine job heating all of these things up for us. The turkey with gravy and stuffing wasn't bad at all too. I bet if you gave it to some snooty food critic, he'd pass it for college cafeteria Thanksgiving turkey. Not too shabby.

Greatest Adventure Exclusive: KFC's 嫩牛五方

2008-11-18T17:03:00.001+08:00

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed KFC advertising some new beef dish somewhat resemblant of generic Taco Bell. With the absence of Taco Bell in China (that Taco Bell Grande in Shanghai doesn't count, so don't even), I was immediately intrigued. The billboards at all the bus stops and all of the little ads here and there got to me, so I finally decided to hit up a KFC while waiting for a train up to Jiujiang last Friday. Of course, the 嫩牛五方 (Nen Niu Wu Fang) was proudly on display in the window.

The literal translation is Tender Beef of Five Directions. Marketed as having that Sichuan spice and fresh tender juicy beef with adequate real beef flavor, how could one man resist? I strolled up to the counter with my luggage. Ordered the 嫩牛五方 with an icey Pepsi Cola on the side. It wasn't until they handed me the pentagon when I thought it might not be worth the 14 kuai. The thing was barely bigger than the palm of my hand. Sure, the 嫩牛五方 was almost twice my size on the bilboards, but I expected it to be more along the lines with the average size of a quesadilla.

Though marketed as Sichuan spiced, it tasted a lot more Tex-Mex. It's wrapped in a soft flour tortilla, the beef has that common taco spice flavor, it's packed with lettuce, tomato, and crunchy tortilla. Definitely fast food's first step in bringing the taco over here. It was actually pretty good. Had that tender juicy beef with adequate real beef flavor without a doubt. All it needs is some cheese and a bit of an augmentation. All in all, not worth forking over 14 kuai for a second round. Just too small to justify paying that much again. A guy ought to just go next door to McDonald's and get a cheeseburger for ¥6. At least I'd get some cheese on that.

I may have been a bit disappointed, but this is the first step we need. KFC dominates fast food in China. Pizza Hut is quite common. All Yum! Brands, Inc. has to do now is complete the trifecta and bring Taco Bell over. Better yet, make it a subsidiary part of KFC. That'll ensure that there's dozens of locations in every city where I can get a cheap Tex-Mex fix.

Note: Yum! Brands, Inc. can leave Long John Silver's in the States. A&W, on the other hand, would be more than welcome over here. I could go for a root beer right now. Sometimes the Heisong Sasparilla doesn't cut it.

Nanjing

2008-10-31T12:59:00.001+08:00

Nanjing wasn't what I expected at all. At least what I saw of it. It was so clean and civilized. Reminded me a lot of Japan. My friend who I will call Dmitri and I had planned on going somewhere during the Annual Sports Meet of our school. Two days off giving us a four day weekend. Would it be Fuzhou, Changsha, Hangzhou? Jess and her friend Jenn were keen on going up to Nanjing the same weekend, so we thought, what the heck. We'll do a trip to Nanjing.

I went and got the tickets two days prior. Unfortunately, there were no hard sleepers or even soft sleepers available on both the regular and express trains. Due to the fact that we could only procure hard seats, I chose the express. 12 hours as opposed to 16. 12 hours on a hard seat sounds pretty daunting. I had some trouble dealing with 4 hours going up to Wuhan last month on a hard seat, but it was pretty hot then too.

A trusted friend of Dmitri assured us that we could upgrade through one of the train attendants after boarding. And he was right. There was barely anyone on the train. We just had to go through the formality of signing up on a sheet and then paying. I wonder what travel agency bought all those hard sleepers. How are they not losing money?

The journey up to Nanjing went smoothly. I got a fair share of sleep on top bunk. Dmitri was down on the bottom. For some reason the air conditioning was bothering him more, even though it was all up in my face. I had built a wall with the edge of my blanket to prevent the cold air from blowing up my nose. He couldn't escape it.

We got into Nanjing early Friday morning. First stop would be the hostel Jess recommended we stay in. No rooms available. The next hostel around the way had no rooms either. Just two beds in a shared room, as hostels tend to offer. The security of our bags consisted of putting them behind the unmanned desk. We weren't liking this offer. Besides, we got our own private room in a regular hotel across the street for a mere 15 kuai more a piece. So much for hosteling in urban China.

The hotel was in the Fuzimiao or Confucius Temple district. Pretty, yet touristy area. Lots of knick-knacks for sale. Not to mention deadly weapons. Can't forget the DVD's. Good selection, but much more expensive than in our beloved Jiangxi province. Dmitri and I browsed around the area, took a few photos, then thought we'd get something to eat. This area looked too touristy to have good restaurants, so we thought we'd head out to find some real Nanjing style food. Except everyone we asked either didn't know, or directed us back to Fuzimiao. We ended up buying a map and hopped on a random bus. Nothing like a random bus adventure. Double decker one too!

We got on the top deck and sat in the very front, giving us a bird's eye view of the street in front of us. Some of our neighbors recommended we get off at an upcoming spot that would surely have all sorts of good food. Some young ladies who got off with us directed us where to go. It was a bustling street made of dirty hole in the wall restaurants. My kind of China. Rather unlike what we had seen of Nanjing already, the civilized and developed city with a rich history that somewhat resembled Kyoto. They both were old capitals after all.

We didn't have any luck finding Nanjing food, but Sichuan food never fails. We thought we'd get some of the local seafood. See what this Nanjing fish was all about. The one we ordered turned out to be deep fried in the spirit of Long John Silver, served with ketchup.

There was a sushi stand outside the restaurant. I usually eat my fill when eating out in China, despite what people say about Chinese food. How can you not fill up on it? Anyways, Dmitri can eat a lot and he wasn't quite satisfied yet, so he gets some of the sushi. I had to try a piece. His pseudo-vegetarianism prevented him from ordering one with raw fish (even though we just got fish at the Sichuan restaurant), but for veggie sushi, not bad. It's a shame neither of us knew how to say "soy sauce," otherwise it could have been better.

We walked around some more. Found a walking street, meaning cars can't enter street, which actually means a lot in this country, considering sidewalks aren't always off limits. It was packed with foreign things. Mostly Korean. There was my very own Pizza place, Baker's Pizza, and an Indian restaurant! All this place needed now was a Nathan's Hot Dogs.

We then walked down to the lake in the center of town. It's partially surrounded by the old city wall, which was quite nice to look at. The park looked a little too romantic for a couple of dudes to enter together, so we thought we'd save it for when the girls got into town. But really, it costs 30 kuai to get in. I ain't gonna pay that much for a city park.

We decided to spend the rest of the day at the Nanjing Massacre museum all while finding out if there was a soccer match in the Olympic stadium. The subway took us to the stadium first. Every security and gardening worker there assured us there was no soccer match. Only tennis. When we asked a passenger on the subway about it, he looked at us like we were Japanese or something. What did we do to anger you? We just asked about soccer? I know you like the NBA! I know the Chinese suck at soccer! But we still wanted to get drunk and watch one of their games! "No, it's so violent! All the players fighting!" I guess he hadn't seen minor league hockey before.

No luck on the soccer front, so we hopped in a cab to the gloomy Nanjing Massacre memorial museum. That's not the actual name, but you get the gist. It's a pretty stunning, yet depressing museum. I managed to get a couple photos of the inside, but was stopped by security. And that was of the pretty part. A solemn silence was all that could be heard besides a dismall bell ringing every few seconds. The pictures were horrifying, the captions were gut wrenching. The whole place, besides being very educational, was like a hard punch in the gut. And that was before we got to the real excavation site of one of the mass graves.

We didn't have much of an appetite after the museum, so we went back to Fuzimiao for some evening tea. Nice little teahouse on the water. This got our appetites going, so we checked out the Punjabi Indian Cuisine place on the walking street. The samosas were top notch. The garlic nan top notch. Dmitri's vegetable curry was pretty good. I've had much better butter chicken, but the friendly manager made up for that. And classic Bollywood music videos playing on the television. Essential.

That heavy Indian food can keep a man from getting anything out of the booze he buys, so we took a walk to get that digestion going. We were nearing the lake again when I smelt the beer that a man was drinking on the corner. Chinese beer. The usual 750ml bottle, but brown glassed as opposed to the usual green. It smelt different from your Qingdao, Yanjing, Xuehua, or Sedrin (sounds like a medicine but it's in fact a popular beer brand in southern China). We had to get a taste. The corner shop selling them gave us the coldest bottles of beer I've had in this country. I can't recall the brand, but it turned out tasting a little better than your average Chinese beer. It almost passed for a Kirin Ichiban.

The beer was getting my guts more in motion. A bathroom was needed. Checked out the five-star hotel by the lake. It was a Chinese franchise and I can't remember its name either, but fine toileting, I must say. The bathroom's dim lighting, fancy decor, and marble floors got me in the mood. The stall wasn't even a stall, but a proper enclosed room with a clean Western toilet. There was even a cup holder that fit my beer bottle. Best of all, there was toilet paper available. High quality toilet paper.

I met back up with Dmitri, who waited outside. We caught a cab back to the hotel to take a little break before we headed out for a night on the town. Caught the first half of this Thai movie called Tom Yum Goong which involved elephant thieves, martial arts, and unbelievable chase scenes. It just about put Ong Bak to shame. Where Ong Bak had its infamous Tuk Tuk (motorized rickshaw) chase scene, Tom Yum Goong had its super motorized canoe like boat chase scene. They even sped the film up to make it look faster.

We ventured outside before we could catch the rest of the movie. I'll have to look out for it at the local DVD shop. We hopped in a cab, thinking we'd just ask the driver to take us to a good bar area. We didn't notice it was a woman driver until after we got in. No offense to female cab drivers, but it was expected she wouldn't be able to help us out. She insisted on taking us to the 1912 area. That wasn't what we were looking for at the moment. So she decided to take us elsewhere. KTV after KTV. Nothing else. She didn't quite understand the difference between a bar and KTV. They both serve alcahol was her logic. We just got out and caught another one.

The next driver was a clean shaved headed man who looked like he knew where to drink. He understood us completely and took us to our next destination. Some random, shabby looking bar with neon lights. We go in, it looks relatively normal at first, but then they start pushing the KTV on us. We make it clear we just want to sit and drink, and they backed off. We sit down and our waitress cracks open our Qingdao's. All the women working here have a sort of air to them. A nightly air. A lady of the nightly air. And all the men coming in for karaoke are coming in solo. Ah, it wasn't just any KTV joint. We finished our beers and caught another cab. We settled on spending the rest of our time at the 1912 area.

1912 is a district of bars and nightclubs, mostly nightclubs of the typical Chinese fashion. We had a bit of a wander around the place, then went up in one of the nicer looking ones called Ace. It was amazing on the inside. Not what I expected at all. Real lush decor, good music, good lighting. There was a bit of a scene as we walked in. A crowd had gathered around in one of the lounge areas and club workers and security were rushing in and out of the area. A fight? A drug overdose? This place was exciting too!

We only stayed for a beer since Dmitri's guts weren't treating him too well after the Indian food. It must have been a bit of a shock to his system after nearly two months of only Chinese food. It was about this time that Jess and Jenn were getting in anyway. They met up with some of Jenn's old friends. We joined them at a small bar in the Gulou area. The Gulou area is quite the Laowai area. Lots of expat bars and foreign restaurants, all emitting mediocrity. The bar we went to offered some very cheap beverages, so there was no need to complain. After some talk of politics and a few laughs, we called it a night.

We slept pretty late the next day. Jess, Dmitri, and I went out that afternoon to find this deli called Skyways. We spent ages looking for it with the vague directions Jenn gave us via text message. It was nowhere to be found. I had a hankering for some Tex-Mex, and had luckily written down the address and phone number of one before coming up to Nanjing. We hopped in a cab and he brought us to the Salsa Mexican Cantina. We sat down and placed our order. A older Canadian gentleman came in shortly afterwards and sat at the table beside us. He gave us some insight about the nightlife in town. Recommended a few bars. Meanwhile we munched on some homemade tortilla chips and homemade salsa that was simply fantastic.

It was turning out to be a pretty decent lunch. That was until my chicken enchiladas came out. They tasted like a rotting dead chicken covered in avian feces, with a hint of Mexican spice. I wasn't having it. I quietly told the waitress that something was wrong with it, mainly the chicken. I asked her to replace it with a beef enchilada, and she took it back. Shortly afterwards she came back out and said I would have to pay the cost of an additional enchilada. I told her "Unnacceptable!" "If that's the case, I won't get anything else at all!" She went in the back, and then the manager came out. She started bitching at me. Saying nothing was wrong with the chicken. That they had bought it that morning. I didn't care if they had just killed it an hour ago, it tasted unbelievably rancid. She accused me of having a close minded view of what enchiladas should taste like. I rebutted by asking her and the chef to taste it. She went in the back, then came back out a few minutes later. She told me the chef tasted it and it was fine. That of course did not change my mind about the enchiladas. She then said they'd give me the beef ones for free anyway. I accepted. The beef enchiladas came out well after Jess and Dmitri were finished eating. They tasted exactly the same, only now it was like a rotting dead chicken covered in avian feces and ground beef, with a hint of Mexican spice. I paid for one enchilada portion and we left. So if you ever go to Salsa Mexican Cantina in Nanjing, I don't recommend the enchiladas. I also don't recommend sending anything back, no matter how bad it tastes. The manager doesn't understand the service industry and will just end up yelling at you. Also, don't be fooled by the jalepeno nuggets on the menu. They are in fact corn bread nuggets with half a jalepeno slice inside, served with maple syrup. They're not bad, just not what the menu suggests. All in all, I don't recommend ever going to Salsa Mexican Cantina in Nanjing. Their homemade tortilla chips and salsa aren't worth the other bullshit.

We headed back to the hotel for a rest. We hadn't done much that day, but the search for Skyway and the Salsa Mexican Cantina incident had worn us out. The plan for the night was drinks. The Canadian gentleman recommended we check out Danny's Irish Pub at the Sheraton. It was quite nice. They had Guinness on draft which was quite tasty. I've always thought people raved way too much about Guinness. That it was way overrated. But I guess the Guinness draft I had in Japan wasn't that great. This Guinness was a lot better. The avid Guinness drinker will always tell you it's better in Ireland too. After finding that it's better in Nanjing than in Tokyo, I'm actually convinced now.

After several rounds of European beer on draft and a game of foosball, we went over to the Blue Sky bar, another mediocre expat bar found anywhere in Asia. They did have foosball though, so we managed to have a pretty decent time. After an "edge of your seat" doubles game against Jenn's old friends (which we won!), and after a few rounds of darts, we got in a cab and went to the Castle bar. Imagine typical Chinese nightclub mixed with expat bar mediocrity, and there you have it. Nothing that great. Chinese style drink service, where you buy a bottle and choose a mixer, that's shared with the table. Seemed like it'd be more fun to do this in a nice club with good music and a good atmosphere. My recommendation was quickly shut down by all the expats we were sitting with. "Ace club?!?!" they said. "1912?!?!" After a few pretentious laughs, the subject changed. Later I caught two of them talking shit about me recommending that we go there. I confront them about it and they bitch out and back down saying, "No no no, it's okay man. We can go if you want." Turns out they've never been there before. We didn't end up going. I just left feeling jaded about my least favorite type of community in China.

Jess and I woke up feeling miserabley hung over the next morning. Dmitiri too. Jess and I had our goodbye, then Dmitri and I caught our train back to Nanchang. 10 hours hard sleeper during the day. Managed to sleep for the brunt of it. We got back to our respective homes that night.

Nanjing deserves more of a visit before I settle with an impression of it. I definitely saw some of the good and the bad. Spending so much time in the Laowai world there had me thinking. Lumping all China expats together really isn't fair. I'm one of them afterall. Two nights in Nanjing just reminded me of the two very different lives that can be lead out in this country as an expat. One's time can be spent on a single little lily pad, or it can be spent in the entire lake, rich with diversity and adventure. I saw what there was to see in Nanjing's expat bubble, and it was rather small and predictable. Comparable to folks who study in Beijing and don't leave Wudaokou, whiling away at Lush and Propaganda, never venturing out to Bejing's many districts and neighborhoods. I'll have to explore a bit more next time I go to Nanjing.

Huangshan City, Not The Mountain

2008-10-10T16:13:00.001+08:00

My adventures in Hubei ended, but my National Day holiday was not quite over yet. I hopped on one of those overnight sleeper buses that Wednesday, where I was uncomfortably crammed in a pod like sleeper. Imagine trying to fit 0.7 lead into a 0.5 mechanical pencil. It didn't work out so well. Whoever designed these sleepers didn't have 6 foot tall American men in mind. My exhaustion from Shennongjia adventures allowed me to at least get several hours of sleep.

I had departed Wuhan around 6:45pm and arrived early Thursday morning around 4:30am in Huanghsan City. Huangshan, the mountain, is one of the most beautiful places in the world. "It's like a fairyland" is something Chinese tourist industry people may say. "A tourism paradise" is something CCTV9 will tell you every single commercial break. I would simply say that the landscape is unbelievably gorgeous. I climbed the mountain three years ago while I was on study abroad in Hefei, Anhui province. Only several hours from the mountain.

I would not return to the mountain on this trip to Anhui. My girlfriend, Jess, had spent her holiday climbing the mountain, while I was mutilating my finger in the middle of nowhere. Like every good girlfriend, Jess got up early to come wait for my arrival at the bus station. Except my bus got in about an hour and half before the ticket master told me it would. Moreover, I was dropped off at the train station, not the bus station. I had to buy a bus ticket to Jiujiang, Jess's home, so we could go there the following day. I ended up wandering around Haungshan City's train station, trying to find a half-honest cab driver to take me to the bus station. Half-honest cab drivers are hard to come by in this city during the National Day break. 10 kuai for the 2-3 kilometer trip seemed to be the lowest price I could get.

I argued with my driver for a few minutes about the price after he had dropped me off. I wasn't in the best of moods, having just spent the night with my feet twisted and cramped up in a cubby hole, all while driving over bumpy dirt roads. Didn't they have highways in southern Anhui? Basically, I was just trying to make the man feel bad about the whole thing. Pretty silly idea judging the character of cab drivers in this city. My mind was tired and cluttered. I should have known better.

The bus station wouldn't open for another two hours, so I thought I'd find a hotel. Down the street was the "Fashion Hotel." Sounded pretty fashionable. I walked into the dimly lit lobby to find no one at the front desk. I looked to my left at the three lobby couches. Two were occupied by sleeping security guards. Well, one was fast asleep, snoring and wailing like my late-Grandmother. The other guard was actually awake, with one eye open, closely watching my every move. I set my backpack down and lied out on the third couch. I looked over at the concious guard. He looked at me. I shut my eyes. He shut his.

I was awoken about a half hour later to some of the most dreadful Chinese pop music. The Fashion Hotel was really trying to impress the young and trendy by turning their lobby TV's on at 5 in the morning with the volume up to 10. This didn't bother the snoring security guard in the slightest. He kept on trucking.

After a few nightmares, I was awoken to the pull of my hoody. I opened my eyes and Jess was looking over me. She commented on how I was entertaining the people in the lobby. Shows those damn TV's what's up. My security guard couch mates had appeared to be off shift. What a great job. Come to Fashion Hotel late at night. Sleep on couch. Go home in the morning.

I inquired about rooms at the front desk, but was informed that all hotels in Huangshan City were booked. We caught a cab to see for ourselves. Every hotel we were brought to was booked solid. We decided to just go to the ancient Huizhou man-made "Hua Shan Mysterious Grottoes," an interesting little park outside of Huangshan City.

Some farmers were said to have discovered these grottoes sometime during the 20th century. Jiang Zemin inspected them himself in 2001 and said something like "Wah, it's marvelous! It's a mystery! Really an ancient mystery!" The park opened shortly thereafter, where tourists like Jess and I paid a fair amount of money to see some grottoes that looked like they had been carved by heavy machinery shortly before the park had its grand opening.

Dates of construction aside, it was a fun day at the Mysterious Grottoes. It started out extremely foggy. Really gave it that mysterious Chinese feel. We had ourselves a little paddle boat adventure around one of the lakes. Checked out a few grottoes. Climbed some off-trail rocks. Ate some noodles. By noon, the mist had cleared up and that mysterious Chinese feel turned into a regular Chinese feel, without the pollution.

The park allegedly had some hot springs. It was at least on the pamphlet. We went where the pamphlet indicated the hot springs were, but there was nothing but a guard house. The guards told us to walk a couple of kilometers into a nearby town. We walked a couple of kilometers and found nothing but homes, farms, and a provision shop. The shop owner directed us to catch the bus. It was a bit of a wait, and when we got on, the driver had no clue about any hot springs. We decided to have a little bus adventure anyway, and before we knew it, about five more kilometers down the road was the hot springs. And they weren't just any hot springs, they were the Ravishing Hot Springs.

Turned out the Ravishing Hot Springs was a resort, well equipped with hotel rooms and Korean tourists. We got ourselves a room and took a little afternoon nap. Evening time came around and we decided to check out the springs. It was beautiful. Steamy pool after steamy pool, each with one unique characteristic. There was the jasmine pool, the ginger pool, the coffee pool, the orange peel pool, and even the white wine pool to name a few. And when I say white wine, I mean white wine, not bai jiu. They all allegedly have some sort of health or beauty benefit too. For example, the milk pool was supposed to whiten skin tone.

Jess and I got a little dinner next to the green tea pool, then sampled various hot springs. We enjoyed the chrysanthemum pool to ourselves, until three gabbing Korean ladies came in. They stayed for about 45 seconds, then got out. One of them blatantly took Jess's dry towel and slippers. She left Jess with a dirty soaking towel and a smaller pair of sandals.

We crashed around 7:30 that night. Hot springs can really wipe a guy out. We were off to Jiujiang the next morning by bus. Typical bus ride. Crazy driving, lunch stop at a dirty over-priced under-maintained rest stop. We got into Jiujiang that afternoon and took it easy. We met up with Jess's co-worker, Jenn, and got some pizza at New York Pizza. Jess and Jenn are friends with the restaurant's manager. He joined us for a chat. Funny guy. Makes a pretty good barbeque chicken pizza too. And good pizza is hard to come by in China. Especially in backwater Jiangxi province.

After stuffing my gord, we headed over to DXD, the club we had gone to last time I went to Jiujiang. Another one of Jess's co-workers met up with us, and we got a booth. I called up Cao Jun, the manager I had made friends with before. He was actually off shift, but came to party anyway. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling it that night. Too much pizza. I could barely drink. I embraced my Roman heritage and barfed up a little room in the squatter. Still no help. I was just feeling plain ill. I had to go home and hit the sack. A shame really, because I had met some Greek businessmen who run an oil shipping company on the Yangzi. They would have been interesting to party with.

Jess and I had a leisurely Saturday. I got my return ticket to Nanchang, we got a little McDonald's, bought a bunch of DVD's. We got good movies, bad movies, rare movies, really esoteric dirty movies. They got everything in these back alley shops, at one U.S. dollar a disc.

We headed back home and had a movie marathon. We watched Gwendoline first. It's some weirdo erotic movie from the 80's. It actually takes place in China, which we weren't expecting. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys old school orientalist embodiments of China. We watched Murder On The Orient Express afterwards, which was just okay. We had listened to a BBC Radio version of it several months prior which was much better. We watched M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening afterwards. M. Night did it again with a classic twist, except this time the twist was the fact that there was no twist at all. Good old M. Night back at it again.

I returned to Nanchang Sunday morning and received a warm welcome from my colleagues. This place is turning out to be tons of fun. The following week consisted of teaching, eating, and late nights drinking. Nanchang isn't one of the finest Chinese provincial captials, but it sure as hell has a lot of good food, good people, and good times.

Shennongjia Wilderness Camping Adventure

2008-10-04T12:18:00.001+08:00

After about a week and a half of teaching, the National Day holiday came up. A week off for all universities in China. I planned to go on some sort of wild adventure in the Chinese wilderness. The National Day break being a national holiday meant that most tourist sites would be crowded. I wanted something a little more secluded. You know, a real break from the real China. An old classmate of mine happens to be up in Wuhan studying. I'll refer to her as "Eagle" for her own privacy. We settled on going up to Shennongjia, a "mysterious wilderness" region in western Hubei province, according to Travel China Guide.

There is in fact a lot of history and mystery surrounding Shennongjia. It happens to be the home of the yeren, or "wild man." Essentially the Chinese big foot. That was one big selling point. One of China's first kings used to roam the Shennongjia region, finding all sorts of herbs that he would try himself. He got poisoned a lot, but didn't mind. He was trying to cure all the ailments of his subjects. What a benevolent ruler. He also invented the concept of time. The region is actually named after him.

I nearly went up to Shennongjia with no passport. My employers were trying to get my residence visa handled, but were taking their time. I guess they didn't consider the fact that I might travel somewhere, having a week off and all. I pressured them to get it back to me, so we got it settled hours before I headed up to Wuhan to meet Eagle. Turned out her passport was still with her school. People keep telling me that "this is the Chinese way." I don't buy it though. This is the backwards, inneficient way. The Chinese are better than that. There's just a lot of lazy bastards bringing their name down.

I take a hard seater up to Wuchang city, one of the three cities that makes up Wuhan. I don't get in till well after 1am. I make it to Eagle's dorm around 2am. As tired as I am, I decide to stay up and be social. She introduces me to her friends and dorm life. Her school is quite interesting when it comes to foreign students. There's so damn many of them. She's also one of only three Americans. There's a plethora of Europeans, Africans, Koreans, and Vietnamese. Not to mention the Japanese and Pacific Islanders. Some of Eagle's Islander friends are lounging in the courtyard with that Qing Dao Shan Shui. We buy a few bottles and join them. A young Islander man sits on the steps blasting reggae music on his cell phone, cracked out of kava.

We decide to go to a bar sometime around 3am. We hop the fence, but no cabs in sight. I smell the lakes of Wuhan in the cool night breeze. Kind of fishy. We end up going back to Eagle's place, calling it a night. After about an hour of no sleep, we get ready to go. I have a quick breakfast of Oreo's with peanut butter. Then we head out and catch a cab to the train station. Our train doesn't board until about 8am, but it was a good thing Eagle got us there over an hour and a half before that. We eat something a little more substantial while we wait to the beat of Usher's 2004 hit "Yeah!" featuring Lil' Jon and Ludacris, blaring out of some guy's cell phone.

We board the train and claim our seats. Everything is going smoothly until after the second stop or so. A gentlemen stands by our booth looking very confused. I acknowledge him and take a look at his ticket. He has my seat. Eagle had bought us tickets to Yingcheng. Our destination was Yichang. Eagle knew we were going to Yichang, but the ticket teller told her it was fine. "Just stay on the train," she says. So that's what we did. We stayed on the train. I stood and Eagle sat. No one claimed her seat.

I take her big puffy sleeping mat off my backpack and into the hallway. I try and get comfortable for a while, but I end up just getting in the way. I head on over to the other side of the car and start chatting with the train attendants. They are all from Wuhan and all have children to support at home. They are interested in the fact that I teach English because they all think their children aren't good enough at it. I recommend Eagle as a private tutor, seeing that I live in Nanchang and all.

We arrive at the next stop and the ladies get to work. I mosey on back to where Eagle is sitting. She offers me her seat. I oblige. She gets up and searches for open tandem seats on another car. I get bored and follow a few moments later. I find her talking with the train attendants. They comment on how pretty we are. Not only are we pretty, but we look like Europeans. According to them, Europeans are prettier than Americans. I'm not sure if they were referring to white Americans, or if they were aware that white Americans immigrated from Europe.

We arrive at another stop and the ladies go back to work again. We return to our seats, and find that two are available. Then the attendants come by to check tickets. They see that we have only paid as far as Yingcheng and start making a scene. They weren't sure if we were just confused or if we were trying to scam them. I assured them it was the former and we paid the fee.

We get to Yichang in the afternoon. It's hazy, yet cool. Eagle makes a trip to the bathroom while I chat with a few drivers lingering around the station. Our next destination is Muyu, a town in the Shennongjia district. I'm feeling keen on taking a private vehicle up there at this point. They assure me it will only be 80 kuai to get there. They escort us to a dingy little restaurant. A woman breast feeds her baby at the table next to us, while a variety show is blaring on the television. The food wasn't great, but we eat our fill. We head out and run into our driver. He then goes on about how the trip will be more like 500 kuai since we're not taking a big old bus with other people to Muyu. We're feeling a bit cheated already. These people were hanging out in front of the train station after all. We see their vehicle. It's tiny. I don't know how the two of us, and our bags could have fit comfortably. We bargain down to 200 kuai, then decide to leave them. For all we knew, they could have taken us to the middle of nowhere and demanded more money. Or worse.

We ask a few cab drivers. Their starting price seems to consistently be 1200. We walk into a hotel. They only offer a packaged tour deal, which may end up costing us too much, and possibly interfere with camping plans. We find another cab driver who agrees to take us for 600. He brings us to the fuel station first. Then he jets on down to another part of town to pick up his wife. Seemed like after he filled up, he got some sort of rush and was seeing just how fast he could make every turn. His wife hopped in the vehicle accompanied with some warm clothes for our driver. Then we were off.

The drive was white-knuckle all the way. Narrow, winding, mountain passes with drops into unknown rivers hundreds of feet down. Our driver passes other vehicles at every possible, and damn near impossible moment. We narrowly escape death from collision countless times. This was China's famous three gorges area. I wished I could have enjoyed the view in a different manner.

We arrive at a fork in the road. The sign clearly says Muyu was one way, but our driver decides to get a second opinion. The fellow he asked told him the other way. So we went the other way. A while later we run into another fork. Muyu is clearly marked on the sign. Our driver gets an opinion from a farmer girl. She says the other way. So we take the other way. More time passes and we're getting pretty fatigued. We take a rest at a small fuel station. Eagle isn't feeling too good. She has a tendency for car sickness. She vomits in the bathroom. I wait for her outside the cab, saltine crackers in hand.

We drive on. Eagle somehow manages to fall asleep in this cab ride from hell. We pass a small town. The driver asks me if I'd like to go here instead of Muyu. I snarl at him, and tell him to take me where we agreed to go. We drive on. The sun sets and I'm getting sleepier and sleepier. I follow Eagle's lead and take a nap.

We wake up to an abrupt stop. A heard of goats crosses the road, unattended. We continue on down the mountain highway. Our driver comments to his wife about the beautiful, yet dark scenery. Shortly thereafter, we arrive in Muyu. Driver finds us a suitable hotel for the night. He fills out all of the paper work, so we don't even have to show our passports. Lucky for Eagle. He must be getting some sort of tax deduction for it.

Eagle and I hit our respective beds hard. We watch a Chinese variety show. Pop star Niunai (Cow's Milk) sings us a song about getting "High-Q Tonight!" I pass out with my eyes open. Eagle shuts off the lights and goes to sleep.

We rise early the next morning. We pack our backpacks and hit the road. The streets of Muyu are quiet and cool. A mist rises from the pavement. Clouds cover the tips of Muyu's surrounding mountains. We have baozi for breakfast while we walk. We find another hotel and inquire about getting a ride to the Shennong Peak. This is the proper wilderness park section of Shennongjia. Where we plan to hike and camp.

The driver she calls ends up being too pricey. We just leave his car and head back to the main street. A small mianbao che pulls up and offers us a more reasonable price right off the bat. The driver, Tan Ping, has a friendly charm to him. We're anxious to get up to the peak, so we take his offer.

I ask Tan Ping about the so-called yeren. He assures me it's just a folk tale. But there was in fact a "wild man" (who was once civilized) in the Shennongjia wilderness. He was unhappy with society and decided to live in the wild. Typical Daoist hermit story actually. Except this man returns to civilization after eight years. He forgets how to speak. After about a year of re-orientating himself in the "real world," he speaks again. When people ask him where he comes from, he says, "the mountains."

We get to the park gate. We pay the entrance fee and sign the guest book. Then as we're about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, the police stop us. They ask Tan Ping if we'll be exiting the park that day. He tells him what we agreed upon, a one way trip. The cop isn't having it. Nowhere to stay in the park. No camping! It turns out Shennongjia has some regions off-limits to foreigners. Some of this is due to the presence of military bases. Perhaps dropping off a couple of foreigners, unattended, in this region doesn't fly. We end up agreeing to exit the park that day. We would find a suitable camping ground elsewhere.

We venture on in to the Shennong Peak park. The scenery is cloudy, but gorgeous. Unfortunately, a lot of construction is taking place on the road. Shennongjia isn't quite a full fledged tourist destination yet. We press down the misty mountain road with our caution lights flashing.

Our first stop is the Banbiyan stone forest. We're nearly at the peak of the Shennong mountain. It's unbelievably misty. Can't see but ten feet in front of you. The wind is blowing hard and it's freezing. We put on extra clothes and exit the vehicle. Tan Ping kindly takes a photo of us.

We wander around the stone forest. It's wet, cold, and misty. From what we can see, we can tell it'd be a whole lot prettier if the clouds cleared up. The rock formations are amazing. We climb a few of them to admire the blank white view.

We finish the Banbiyan trail and meet up with Tan Ping. He assures us that Shennong Peak is a lot prettier when it's not cloudy. He brought us to another interesting location nearby. It was a wooden walkway on the side of a very steep hill. The wind was blowing like a typhoon, yet the clouds remained omnipresent. The gorge at the bottom of the hill was completely covered by white.

Next was a riverside trail. We walked up it and admired the purity of the water. It's a pretty amazing sight to see in China. One thing you learn to appreciate after spending time over here is clean water.

We headed further down the road and got to this monkey waterfall area. A couple was getting their wedding pictures shot in front of one of the main waterfalls. They looked miserable and cold. Especially the bride.

We walked along the waterfalls, but no monkeys. The only wildlife we saw was a bird. A single bird. The waterfalls were beautiful though. Just a bit disappointing coming all this way, not being able to camp, finding that it wasn't much of a hiking mountain but more of a driving mountain, and no monkeys in the damn monkey waterfall region. It turned out to see the Golden Monkeys, a fee of 200 kuai would have to be paid, and we would observe them in an enclosed area. Sort of like the panda research center in Chengdu. We were so disenchanted with this park already, plus we had paid damn near 200 just to get in, so we skipped it and exited the park.

Our driver took us to a nearby mountain where he thought it would be suitable to camp. He stops on the side of this tiny mountain road and points into the bush. Says, "camp here!" "But where?" we ask. He leads us in and there is no flat land to camp on. He tells me I have to hike up the mountain a bit first. I hike on up for a while and find nothing. Just more rocks and more trees. We drive up the mountain some more and he brings us to a similar spot. Same story. We decide to head back down to Muyu and try and find a place on the way.

No luck on the way. About two kilometers outside Muyu lies another small park. He encourages us to camp in there. We buy our tickets and start making our way in with all of our gear. The woman manning the gate tells us to make it quick because they'll be closing in a half hour. Eagle asks her if it's okay to camp. The woman looks perplexed. She tells us they must close the park at 6pm. We decide to go in and have a look anyway. We find a place to camp, but feel like messing with these people might not be a good idea. It's not like they'd forget two foreigners who entered the park right before they were closing. We see what there was to see and exit the park. Tan Ping had already left at this point, so we hike back to Muyu.

We make our way in to town and explore a bit. We find an interesting restaurant set in the middle of this river. It's an old wooden traditional Chinese building attached to the main road by rope bridge. A sign for "grilled mutton" hangs outside. We decide to head on in for dinner. It was refreshing to have a yang rou chuan with a cold Xuehua beer. Unfortuantely, I don't have photos of this place, or a lot of places for that matter. I found my camera wasn't working on our way to Muyu. Eagle's had very limited battery for some reason. I'm using the few photos she has for this post.

We finished a satisfying meal, and drunkenly hopped across the rope bridge on our way out, making the Chinese crossers very nervous. We found a hotel and hit our respective beds hard again. Fantastic Four was on television--in English! Bad movie.

We rose pretty early again. Our shower flooded the whole bathroom with water. About one or two inches deep. Eagle had the shower set on cold, thinking it was just heating up. Lucky for me, I went second and had to stand in freezing water while I shaved. I got in the shower and turned the knob the other way. A perfect temperature of warm came out and I had a nice shower.

On our way out, Eagle's backpack strap ripped. This wasn't the first backpack problem she had, but it was the first unmanageable one. We decided to spend our morning getting return bus tickets to Yichang, having breakfast, and getting her bag fixed. Everyone pointed us to the shoe repair store to fix the bag. The shoe repair lady wasn't having it. We weren't sure what the deal was, but I had a feeling she just didn't want to. A seamstress down the street also turned us down. He said the bag wouldn't fit with the sewing machine. We spent the next fifteen minutes walking around town looking for suitable backpacks to replace the broken one. No luck. We decided to try a dry cleaner. The young woman who ran the place kindly took her bag and sewed it by hand. When she finished, she just gave us a big smile. No charge.

We wandered around town looking for a possible place to camp. There was nothing. Then on our way onto the main road, Eagle spotted a suitable place in an abandoned building. We scoped it out and decided to return there after dark to pitch camp.

We hired another mianbao che to take us out to another site in the Shennong region. The Shennong Tower. Built in 1996. It was a cool little park, but not much to see.

We headed back into town and got some lunch. We had time to kill before dark so we sat for a few pots of tea. Then we went into the super market and got a couple bottles of wine. We brought them into a comfortable hotel lobby and killed one bottle. The staff didn't seem to mind.

Dusk was coming on, so we headed up to the abandoned building. Turns out it's a hotel. Not sure why it's abandoned. It's a perfectly good building. Our experience is made a little scary when we discussed the prospect of a bloody murder taking place at this hotel. That might explain a few things.

We set up the tent in a small outdoor hallway sort of place. It was comfortable, and safe from rainfall and wind. It wasn't the rugged camping experience we were expecting in Shennongjia, but it would do. We finished the other bottle of wine while sharing stories. As Eagle went to the bathroom, I tried breaking into a door near our tent. Silly me, I used a pocket knife. In my inebriated state, I pushed too hard on the knife in the wrong direction, the lock gave out, and i sliced my pinky finger open. I started bleeding everywhere. I got the tissues out of my pocket and started to put pressure on it. Meanwhile, Eagle comes back to find me bleeding everywhere. She found it more funny than worrying. She helped me bandage it up with hand sanitizer, tissue, and duck tape. Neither of us were boyscout enough to bring a first-aid kit. Laughs aside, she made a pretty good nurse.

The bleeding stopped and things calmed down. Then like all camping trips, a few ghost stories were told. I shared some from my own life experience. Eagle was getting a little scared and uneasy. We got in the tent and I shared another. Turned out she had her ears covered the whole time. What a waste.

I heard a noise coming from outside. Eagle was on the verge of sleep, and I woke her up. She noticed the noise too. She said it sounded like water dripping, but I could have sworn it was a person, or maybe even a "wild person." She asks me to go out and take a look. I put my miner cap flashlight on my head and took a look. No one in sight, but there was some water dripping. I look more carefully and see that it was snowing. I got back in the tent and we went to bed.

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night, shivering. I managed to get some sleep off and on after that. Eagle slept very warm and comfortably. I could tell when she broke wind in her sleep.

We got up extra early the next morning and I boiled a little water with the handy little grill I purchased before the trip. We had some instant mash potatoes and green tea I stole from one of the hotels. We headed on into town and caught our bus. Everyone told us a cab would be much faster, but the bus ride turned out to be just as long as our cab ride up. It seemed as if that first driver's detours were holding us back. I could have told him that myself.

We got back to Yichang and the first thing we did was hit up a hospital to get my finger examined. A doctor immediately brought me into the back. He said stitches weren't necessary and bandaged it up, proper. We went over to the train station afterwards and got our tickets back to Wuchang. We had some time to kill, so we thought we'd get a little comfort at McDonald's. The place was a mad-house, but those Big-Macs sure did taste good.

Exhausted from our so-called camping adventure, we hit the sack early in Wuchang. The next morning, I bought an overnight bus ticket to Huangshan to rendezvous with my girlfriend. We spent the afternoon at the Hubei Museum while I waited for my bus. Then at 6:50pm, I was off to Anhui province, packed like a sardine in bus sleeper.

First Week In Nanchang / Visit to Jiujiang

2008-09-15T15:01:00.002+08:00

I arrive in Nanchang around noon last Sunday. One of my employer's English skilled liaisons picks me up and takes me to campus. My apartment is quite nice. Hardwood floors, three bedrooms, air conditioning, television, computer, and a pretty large sized kitchen and living room area, furnished and all. I meet my next door neighbor, who I will refer to as Dmitri for his own privacy. I'm so tired from my night in Shanghai that I just hit the sack.

I wake up at 2am, after 12 hours of hard sleep. I had a physical exam to go to at 7am anyway. I take my time getting ready, and I'm out the door where I meet the other foreign teachers. Dmitri and I are the only teachers in our 20's. The other three I meet are over 50. All of them are real nice and friendly. I feel comfortable and at home already.

The hospital is very typical for urban China. Nothing fancy, but very efficient. Not much waiting is involved in urban Chinese hospitals. Instead of having one doctor exam us for everything on the list, we have different stations for specific examinations. The first thing I do is get my blood taken. I barely feel the needle penetrate my arm, but watching blood escape my body like that leaves me feeling a little dizzy. Or maybe that was just the feeling of blood leaving my body. Next up is my co-worker who I will refer to as Terry. He's a jovial fellow who is not the least bit shy around young Chinese women. He takes the hand of one of the young Chinese women waiting in line for comfort. She laughs and smiles without a hint of pretension.

Our next task is to pee into tiny cups, about the size of my thumb. I bring mine in the bathroom, fill the cup up like an expert using short controlled bursts, and set it on the tray with all the other urine samples. I feel bad for my other co-worker who I will refer to as Amber. She aimed somehow. Someone recommended she use a small mirror. Sometimes it's just a lot better to be a guy.

We head over to the ultrasound next. I pull the same joke probably every male foreign teacher pulls when getting an ultrasound during a physical exam in China. "Any babies?" The doctor laughs and tells me, "no babies."

Next is electro-shock. I'm a little nervous about this. I've never had it done before, plus my co-worker who I will refer to as Blaine comes out walking stiff while holding his hand on his heart. I go in, take my shirt off, and lie on the table. The doctor scowls at me as she puts the shockers on my chest and leg. This wasn't looking good already. She then kindly asks me where I'm from and what by business in Nanchang is. I respond, and before I know it, it's over. I didn't feel a thing. Blaine was of course pulling my leg when he walked out like that.

I go on over to the blood pressure and eye exam room, followed by the X-ray. Last stop: "surgery." Wasn't sure what surgery consisted of in China, but it turned out to be just a grumpy man telling me to stand on something with my arms spread out. And that was it, physical over.

Dmitri, Amber, and Blaine have already finished and left at this point. Terry and I head to the old campus and meet my co-teacher. She takes us out to a fantastic Jiangxi style lunch, followed by a shopping trip to Wal-Mart, where I bought a towel. I had dried myself that morning with a dirty sweat rag I use when I run.

The rest of the week feels all meshed together at this point. There was some drinking of Nanchang Pijiu. Some good eating. My co-teacher, who doesn't actually co-teach with me, she's just a Chinese English teacher who helps me out with anything I need, and unfortunately doesn't get re-imursed for her troubles. Moreover, I get paid more than double what she does, plus I get this free apartment which most definitely dwarfs the one she shares with someone else, and I get all sorts of extra allowances for food, travel, and utilities that she doesn't. Anyways, she helps me get internet set up, takes me to the market, gets me a lunch card, gets me a train ticket to Jiujiang. She mine as well be cooking and cleaning for me too.

Although I did not start work during my first week in Nanchang, I did a couple of tutoring sessions for a select group of English students competing in the CCTV English Speech Contest. 1+1 is their topic. I had no idea what that was supposed to mean. Basically, they use 1+1 as a frame for discussing some important issues facing China. For example, one of my students is writing a speech about promoting the use of imagination in the Chinese educational system. She states that a teacher once asked a group of elementary school students, "what happens when ice melts?" One response was "spring time." The teacher responded with a big WRONG, which my student is very critical of. Sure, the 1+1 theme is very vague, but these students are still making good use of their English by writing something substantial that they're passionate about.

I headed up to Jiujiang to see Jess on Friday night. I took the train from downtown Nanchang. It was my first experience in the "hard-seat" car. Not bad actually. The seats are smaller and harder than those of the "soft-seat" car, but they're still cushioned. It's just a bit of a pain if you have an aisle seat because many people buy a "no-seat" ticket and hang out right next to you. Things can get a bit cramped when the guy with the service cart comes around. It was only a one and a half hour trip though. And 20 kuai at that. That's hard to beat.

I arrive after 10pm and find my way to Jess's campus. We have a good reunion and then hit the sack. The next day we walk into town. We decided to eat McDonald's. We thought we'd give the locals what they wanted by letting them watch some foreigners eat this foreign food made of low grade beef, ketchup, and buns. Jess is still pretty new to the city, so we took the "long way" to McDonald's. Probably burnt off all those calories before we even got there.

We did a little guangjie after we ate. It's Zhongqiu Jie weekend afterall, so there's lots of people out and about doing the same. It appeared Jiujiang's elderly folk were out for some leisure time in the park. A lot of chess playing and calligraphy was going on. We saw a younger man with a microphone telling some tales to a large group of old men by the lake. He sounded just like those raspy radio story broadcasts you hear in China. Never pictured a young man telling those though. It was actually a little disappointing. I always pictured the Chinese radio company having this awesome old man cooped up in a small studio with a bottle of cheap whiskey and old cigarettes. I guess that's still not out of the question.

Jess and I stumbled upon the mighty Yangzi river at one point during our walk. There was an industrial boat docked on the bank. I noticed a couple of young looking men hop onto it. I followed them on. Asked them if they worked on the boat. No, they said. They were actually just students out for the afternoon. They said the boat workers didn't care. Then I looked back and noticed a young couple getting on for a look as well. China is just so laidback in some respects.

A short walk from the river was an arcade. I have rarely noticed arcades in China. From the looks of it, they got most of their games from old Japanese arcades that didn't need them anymore. A lot of them didn't work so well, but tokens are so cheap it was no big deal. A couple of young fashionable girls were doing some DDR as we walked in. One was clad in all sorts of candy kawaii gear, and had some mean follow the arrows skills.

After a short game of House of the Dead III, Jess and I headed across the arcade where the nine year old boys were playing that basketball game where you shoot a as many balls in as you can in a limited time. I forgot how fun that was. Especially at 15 cents U.S. a game. On our way out of the arcade, we played that "grab a stuffed animal with a robot" arm game. I tried winning a little puppy dog for the young onlooking girls. No luck after three tries. I think it's rigged.

We did a little more walking and shopping, then headed back to the apartment and watched Iron Man. We got a little dinner afterwards, then headed out on the town with Jess's friend, Jenn. We headed over to this empty bar, then decided to leave after finding out the Chinese beer (which is only 3.1% alcohol) was 18 kuai. I swear last year it was 3.5%. That's pretty low to begin with, but c'mon, 3.1% is bordering on non-alcoholic. I'm about done with Chinese beer now. It doesn't taste particularly good. You have to drink so much to even get a buzz now, and it just ends up filling your body with foam and empty calories. It's pretty sad when you've puked from too much foam, and not from being drunk. Especially when you're not even mildly drunk when it happens.

Fortunately, at the DXD Club, we got a booth and ordered a bottle of whiskey with sweet green tea. Best alcoholic concoction ever. I made friends with the manager pretty fast, and he got us a fruit platter free of charge. We did a lot of drinking, a lot of toasting, some dice playing, and a little dancing. One man was kind enough to walk across the club and toast us with his expensive brandy. Pretty hard stuff I might add. Then the music stopped. All of the sudden a rendition of George Michael's "Careless Whisper" saxophone riff came on. Then a loud house beat fell behind it. Ian Lim would be proud. A scantily clad Chinese gal climbed the tall stripper poll in the middle of the club and did some impressive moves. Her clothes stayed on, but I'm sure she would give a little more than a lap dance if you offered the cash under the table.

And speaking of hookers, my friend the manager brought one over to sit with us. Nice girl, but she didn't stay long after she found out Jess was my girlfriend. Jiujiang's club scene is funny. People go out at 8pm and start heading home at 12:30. We followed the local customs and were back at the house, piss drunk, at 1am.

Sunday wasn't very eventful. Jess wasn't feeling too well. We watched a ton of movies. Got some delivery from the restaurant downstairs. Sunday night was more of the same. All I can say is, "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" is a horrible, horrible movie. "Shoot 'em Up" starring Clive Owen, Monica Belluci, and Paul Giamatti is pretty damn brilliant. "Blades of Glory" was funny, and "Speed Racer," I don't care what anyone says, was pretty fucking awesome. We also watched Wong Kar Wai's "Happy Together." I'm a huge WKW fan, but heard this movie had some really explicit gay sex scenes, so I've always been hesitant when given the opportunity to see it. They weren't explicit at all. I think people just overreact when it's a gay sex scene. I didn't even see one ass cheek. Great movie though. Classic 90's Wong Kar Wai.

It's Monday and the Mid-Autmn Festival is in full swing. We haven't cracked open the moon cakes yet, but perhaps later tonight. I'm leaving on a train back to Nanchang tomorrow morning. I start teaching on Wednesday.

Arriving In Shanghai

2008-09-13T09:35:00.002+08:00

I got in to Shanghai around 9pm last Saturday. I had 80 kuai in my pocket, and some really heavy luggage. I made my way over to the maglev train service. It takes you downtown in a fraction of the time a cab would, and only costs 40 kuai. I was a little disappointed it only got to about 300km/h. I had heard it went over 400km/h, but maybe they were slowing it down for safety reasons. If I recall, there's some discontent with the people who live around the train route. Anyways, in a matter of minutes, I was downtown, albeit still in Pudong.

It took some effort to get my giant suitcase out of the luggage rack. A snobby French couple didn't seem to consider that I needed a moment and a little space to get it out. They were pushing to get off this train Beijing rush-hour style. They must already be acquinted with China. That, or they're just horrible human beings. I went down to the taxi stand and asked how much it would cost to take me to the Bund. 40 kuai the man said. I was very lucky it only cost that much, considering it was all I had left in my wallet. The French snobs were still behind me. They impatiently waited while the wind blew past me and towards them, letting my 18-hours-of-plane-riding-body-odor carress their noses.

So apparently there is a "no-horn-honking" law in parts of Shanghai. Particularly downtown. It was at least this way last summer. This didn't stop my cab driver one bit as we inched our way up the traffic right off the Pudong-Puxi bridge. There was a lot of construction going on, with walls up on both sides of the road, so my view of the Huangpu river was obstructed. My driver was kind enough to roll the windows down all the way, so I could breathe in the fresh, hot carbon monoxide and particle pollution from the construction site. We made it to my hotel, the infamous Captain Hostel, in 37 kuai. I had just enough money to go to the convenient store for two much-needed bottles of water.

I had booked a room the night before I left, while still in Maryland. It was 400 kuai for a single room, or 50 kaui for an actual hostel bunk that would be be in a room full of European dudes. I decided that I would be too tired to deal with a bunch of gabbing European dudes (not that there's anything wrong with European dudes), so I went with the single. Check in time is noon, and since I knew I would be getting in after 10pm, I called them up via Skype. I even bargained with them! Got my room down to 350.

I forgot that they require a key deposit. 150 kaui to be exact. I of course was out of cash at the moment. They took my passport instead. I was greatful, asked where the nearest China Construction Bank was, they didn't know. I figured I'd just go out and look for one. But first, I had to shit, shower, and shave, in no particular order. I watched the opening ceremony of the Paralympics as I got dressed.

I moseyed on up to Nanjing lu. There were banks along the Bund, plenty of banks down Nanjing lu, but still no Construction Bank. I was approached by several men asking if I'd like to go to ladies bar. Some were kind enough to cut to the chase and just asked if I wanted "sex with Chinese girl." I kindly refused. Another Chinese man, or boy rather, apporached me. Before he got a word in, I told him buyao. He then stated that he wasn't selling anything, but just wanted a moment of my time. He told me that his father is a "mental patient" and that he abused him and his mother, so he ran away from home to find a new life in Shanghai. The kid was but only 15, plus he had no work permit in Shanghai, so he had resorted to begging. I had hoped he hadn't also resorted to prostitution, but I didn't ask. We walked and chatted down Nanjing lu, until I found a Construction Bank. I got my cash, took him to a Lawson, bought the boy some food and drink, and gave him an extra ten for internet cafe for the night. Sure, he could have been playing me, but I didn't care. It's nice to help someone out every once in a while. Especially in a dog-eat-dog environment like Shanghai.

I took my cash up to the Captain Hostel Captain Bar for a cold beer and a view of the Pudong skyline. Unfortuantely, they turned off all the lights on the skyline after 10pm. Saving power I guess, but fucking up my view! Everyone on the deck seemed to mind their own business. Didn't strike up a conversation with even one of those European travelers. Oh, and the Tiger beer on draught there is rancid. It tastes like it's diluted with Chinese tap water. It even has the weird stuff floating in it like the kaishui you get in those hot water thermoses. I respectfully switched to Tsingtao draft, which was a whole 5 kuai more expensive. I decided to sit with the bar workers instead of the Europeans. The majority of them had come from Sichuan province to find opportunity in the big-big-city. They fixed me an omlette, free of charge. Then they closed at some ridiculously early hour like 2am, and I was on my way out to find something new.

I had noticed a new jazz bar accross the street from the Captain. I heard a live band playing "Pick Up The Pieces" on my way back from the bank. This was curious. Although, this was Shanghai afterall. The "Pearl of the Orient." Damn, every big city in Asia that the British once occupied seemed to be called the "Pearl of the Orient." How many damn Pearls of the Orient were there? Hong Kong? Singapore? What else. Anyways, this jazz bar used to be a restaurant that I had gone to four years earlier with my high school buddies. I specifically remember my friend who I will refer to as ThrasherD9 ordering the pig intestines. Conciously ordering the pig intestines I might add. This building is a lot nicer now that it's a jazz bar. Rubbish restaurant back then anyway.

The band seemed to be made up of all foreigners. I had a beer at the bar, while the 30-something expats danced to the music. The band was finished playing around 3am. The bass player took a seat next to me. We had a chat. He's a musican hailing from New Jersey, who had come to China to specifically play at this bar. They set him up with an apartment, and gave him a decent salary for China, considering he just plays music at a bar. Sure, it's not a lot of money compared to in the US, but I insisted that it doesn't matter because he had this awesome opportunity in Shanghai to have the time of his life. This is his life afterall, so I will let him decide. He may go back in the near future.

I decided to make my way out the bar after a couple of over-price beers, and hit the sack. I had to get up early the next morning and head over to Hongqiao airport for my flight to Nanchang. I couldn't sleep though. Besides, it was just a few more hours until I had to wake up. I took to the streets, talking with anyone I passed by. I met a security guard standing outside a large building under renovation. It was apparently the site of the British and German Consulates. I was fairly innebriated at the time so I can't remember what exactly we talked about, but we must have chatted for about an hour. This night was becoming a good start in rejuvinating my Chinese skills.

The sun started to come up, and I made my way back to the room. A replay of the Paralympics ceremony was on. I watched as I got dressed. Then made my way outdoors and waved down a cab. She took me to the Hongqiao airport in no time. The agent who hired me referred to a few flights that would only cost 350 kuai. She specifically said go to the airport right before the flight and buy the ticket. At this point, I should have known not to be too trusting of her. The tickets were about double the price she had said. Perhaps if she helped me book them before-hand like a helpful agent, I would have only had to pay 350. So now I was pretty broke and on my way to Nanchang. The 40 kuai noodles I had before my flight weren't worth it either.

On My Way To 中国

2008-09-06T00:03:00.002+08:00

It's been a tumultuous ordeal getting me over to China. So I'm looking for marketing or advertising jobs in China but no luck. Seems like big shot executives don't like hiring entry level Americans who are in America after speaking on the phone for a half hour. Meanwhile, my girlfriend is set up with this teaching job in Jiangxi province with all sorts of benefits. She kept hinting at what a good idea it would be for me to join her. I had my eyes on other jobs though, but since that hasn't worked out, and since tourist visas only last for 30 days now, and since going to China for interviews during a 30 day period and end up with nothing was a big possibility, I've gone with the teaching job.

Jess set me up with the agent that hired her. We had a brief correspondence before she sent me the contract to come work for 10 months. Except the contract was for work at another school in another city, about an hour away from Jess. I guess nothing else was available at Jess's school (except Jess found that something was available and the school's entire staff was wondering why I didnt have it, but this is another matter entirely, which I might go into later after speaking with the agent).

I signed the contract, bought my plane ticket, and awaited my work permit to arrive so I could go get my visa. Getting these work permit documents took a lot longer than expected. The local government was a little slow to stamp it, as was some other guy who had to sign it. Eventually they got to me, five days after my flight. I had to change my flight at the last minute, where I was charged some exorbitant fee by both Northwest Airlines and the booking agency. I thought I had a good fare deal with this unknown online booking agency, but all was ruined with late documents.

As soon as I got the documents, I drove into Washington D.C., where I would seek out the visa office and get an express rush visa. I found my way to the visa office after getting turned around a few times, and managed to get free "2 hour parking with permit" for four hours and no permit. I walked down the hall towards the office, the large security guy checked my ID and made sure I wasn't a Patriots fan, then sent me through the metal detector. I took a number, which turned out to be two number, and took a seat.

The Chinese man next to me carried a new born child while his wife took care of travel permits. He made friendly conversation with me and wished me luck on my journey. He was about return home so his mother could see her grandson for the first time. After he got up, an American man couldn't help but over-hear that I had spent some time in Chengdu. He had spent some time there as well. Seven years. I went over for a study abroad after my sophomore year of college to do a summer intensive language program. He had gone over to do the same, but ended up not coming back, and finished his degree at Sichuan University, senior thesis written in Chinese and all. I assume he was back in the States for visa/Olymics reasons, as he was returing to Chengdu to teach, with the goal of getting another job afterwards.

Number 103 was called and he went up to the desk. Then suddenly a loud whine came from a man in front of the cashier counter. Then another retaliation whine came from the lady behind the counter. The battling whines went on for a minute, until a bigger whine came from behind the desk from an older, fiercer woman. A few pianzi accusations were thrown his way from the older lady, whereupon the demoralized man stormed out of the place. I felt like I was in China already.

An old Korean gentleman sat beside me. I kindly gave him my extra ticket so he wouldn't have to wait for long. He then initiated conversation, most of which I could not understand. I was't sure if he was speaking Korean, English, or both, or if he was just gargling at me. I smiled, and then my number was called.

I took care of business quick. The friendly woman behind the counter gave me a slip saying to return at 2:30-3pm for my visa pick-up. I made my way out the door looking for some lunch. I wandered up and down the street seeing Mexican food, various cafes, pizza, French food, but I didn't want any of it. Then something hit me. I got a whiff of chicken curry coming from somewhere in the near vicinity. I looked up and there was an Indian restaurant on the top floor of the building across the street. I went in and got the Mutton Rogan Josh lunch special. A large, pony-tailed man reminiscent of that Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, The Quest, came out and served it to me on a silver platter. Probably the most filling meal I've had in almost a year. Unfortunately I couldn't finish it.

I wasted a little more time at a local Starbucks, then went in and got my visa. I drove through lanes and lanes of traffic, and crashed on the couch as soon as I got home. I spent the next day running errands, packing, and cleaning up the house. I woke up around 3:45am to catch my flight. It's not like it was all that early, I just had to drive to Annapolis and drop my car off at a family-friend's house, then catch an airport shuttle from there to BWI. Shuttles don't like coming over to the Eastern Shore.

About 15 miles from my house, I get pulled over. I was only speeding because I was late to begin with. The officer was firm, but understanding. She let me off with a warning. What a great way to start the day.

I arrived at my destination just in the nick of time, but found my parking permit for this family-friend's gated community only lasted a few days. My mother is supposed to get the car in a few weeks. To add to the stress level, the shuttle was late picking me up. I imagined this one time I caught a shuttle in Connecticut, where the driver was also late, and also had to pick up five old ladies on our way to the airport. Fortunately I made it that time, so I do have some faith in airport shuttle drivers.

The gentleman was about 40 minutes late, but had no other passengers to pick up. He was a real nice chap, plus I had time to kill before my flight, so it was no biggie. He's a former teacher who also considered going over to China or Thailand to teach (or take a paid vacation as he saw it), but never did because of his children. He lamented about the horrible public high schools of America, where teachers get assaulted for taking away hall passes, which is why he eventually threw in the towel. He said the students would be a lot more cooperative in China. I had no doubt of this either. His only piece of advice to me was "plan." Plan my lessons. Good idea, but I haven't actually planned anything yet. I should get on that.

There was about 15-20 minutes of credit-card charging problems, but I finally got out of the shuttle and into the airport. My bag was way overweight as expected, so I had to turn my one giant suitcase into a giant suitcase and a duffle bag, where the giant suitcase was still 20 pounds overweight. Fortunatley Northwest charges less than United in terms of overweight luggage. Just as everything was going wrong, I got on my flight and had a relatively smooth trip up to Detroit, where I am currently sitting now.

The first thing I saught out was food. There was Mexican, Mediterranian, McDonald's, some fancy wine place that was really out of place and filled with people that looked they were out for a night on the town, a Chilis-Too, and the "Online Cafe." I assumed the "Online Cafe" would offer online access to its customers. I greeted the hostess, who told me to seat myself. Just a pretty face at the entrance I guess. Nothing more. I sat down, a waitress served me a glass of water, I inquired about internet access, she said $5.57 for fifteen minutes. What!?!?! The online cafe charges to get online, I ask. She smugly says yes. What a rip off. I got the Cubano Panini with no french fries, and I was out of there. I should have just gone to McDonald's. Their urban-black demographic marketing tactic was making me hungry for Big-Mac anyway. I guess I'll have one in Nanchang.

So here I am sitting at my gate, where I am paying $4.75 for internet for a whole hour (still a rip-off). This really irks me. The "Online Cafe" is the biggest sham I have ever seen in Detroit. The Chinese are offering free internet at the Shanghai Pudong airport. Why can't Detroit, an even bigger airport hub, offer the same. Anyways, I only got online to pay my credit card bill, which I forgot to do yesterday. I thought I'd make use of my $4.75 by writing this. Time is almost up.

Leaving Seattle, Back to Frisco

2008-08-09T13:57:00.002+08:00

This one is really tardy. After consuming a few Amstel Lights at my girlfriend's place in Austin on a hot Friday night, after watching the NBC delayed broadcast of the 8.8.08 Beijing Olympic opening ceremony, while watching an episode of Seinfeld that I've probably seen 8 times, I got to looking at some blogs and started thinking about how time seems to go on faster as you get older all while my memory starts to get worse, and thought that I should record just about everything I do (and did). This blog will continue to document the adventure that is my life for the time being.

I never finished the road trip blog. I thought I'd do one last post about driving back down to San Francisco with J-Mo, starting off mentioning the farewell in Seattle, but Z never posted that farewell photo outside of Big Yutes' frat, and I never got around to asking him for it, and I thought it'd be rather dry if I didn't include a photo, plus I was somewhat disenchanted with the whole blog thing after that whole ordeal with computer, so I never did it. I'll do it now before it becomes a fuzzy memory.

J-Mo and I set out early that morning. It was a late night, the night before. A night filled with blockbuster movies and the Disney channel. A night of flatulence and shared giggles. A night filled with meaningful discussions, like how your view of the George Lopez show changed when you found out his fictional daughter isn't even Hispanic. Yes, a night to remember. I must have only gotten three hours of sleep that night. Perhaps J-Mo slept fewer hours due to his selflessness in letting me have the couch while he battled it out on the floor with Z.

There was a little apprehension because Z held on to his Garmin, while J-Mo and I had roughly 807 miles to drive that day. We started off by dropping some movies off at Blockbuster. Getting on I-5 wasn't too hard a task with no directions. It was pretty straightforward from there considering the fact that we had about 700 miles on that Interstate. It started off as a tedious drive through urban America, passing through the Seattle and Portland metropolitan areas, but it really started getting pretty as we journeyed through Oregon. We got lunch at a Carl's Junion/Green Chili joint, where I got to knock off two West Coast fast food joints off the list at once. Although that combination of burgers, nachos, and bean burritos made for an unpleasant interlude.

Right after we crossed the California border, Jason and I switched off. I was getting sleepy, and he seemed to have gotten a nap in. It only seemed fair. We filled up at a country gas station right there over the border and paid more than we ever had before on fuel at $4.74 a gallon. The place was real redneck too. I'm not talking about charming country style city folk often mistake for scary redneck, I'm talking about real creepy redneck style, I'm afraid these people might do something unsavory to me and the law might be in on it, Texas Chainsaw Massacre style. Ironically, out of all the states we visited, I only encountered this in California.

Jason took the reigns and I started to drift off. I opened my eyes and saw quite a sight in the distance. It was the infamous Mt. Shasta. I sat there for a moment, thinking I should take a picture, but also thought about how tired and lazy I was, and decided not to grab the camera out of my bag. I regret this.

We stopped for a bathroom break in Willows, CA at a Wal-Mart. We still weren't sure how exactly to get to J-Mo's place without going into Oakland, over the Oakland bridge, into San Francisco, over the Golden Gate bridge, all while trying to avoid San Quentin Maximum Security Prison. I checked out the most recent atlas in the book section and got an idea. J-Mo's girlfriend was also a help on the phone, as was J-Mo's dad. We made it in that night after over 13 hours of driving. It was a rough day, that ended with some delicious pizza and some more George Lopez.

I got up fairly early the next day. J-Mo, his little brother Christopher, and I played a game of knock out. They both whooped me. His brother isn't even 10 by the way. That's how bad it was. I never said I was good at basketball. We played some soccer too. This time Christopher and I go to gang up on J-Mo. He still beat us though. I never said I was good at soccer either. I gave it heart though, and sweated my ass off. We refreshed ourselves with some bottled water by Christopher's tree house. It was there I found out that I wasn't bad at climbing rope, 80's movie
phys ed style, minus the short-shorts.

J-Mo and I went into San Rafael that afternoon, checking out the malls. They were outdoor malls. I forgot how nice California was since I lived there when I was a young one. The malls are actually outdoors, and aesthetically pleasing. We brought my computer in to the Apple store for repair. Also checked out a Borders bookstore where I used my $20 dollar "Happy Hanukkahs" Borders gift card I got from my brother for Christmas. Thanks Pat. I got two good books out of it.

The car was low on gas by the time J-Mo and I pulled out of Borders. Real low. We were running on fumes while we tried getting to a gas station. Couldn't find one on our side of the freeway. What a pain. We had to drive all around to find one while running on empty. Even had to turn off the air-con and Sirius satellite radio to keep going. We found one in the nick of time, then headed on back to J-Mo's place. His dad cooked us a wonderful steak dinner, cooked with the wood chips J-Mo picked up while I bought books. We dined outside and talked about the road trip with his parents, while Christopher bounced a ball dangerously around the dinner table.

I got up early the next morning to fly back East. I packed my stuff in the car, grabbed a breakfast to go, and set off for the Golden Gate. Silly of me, I had no cash on my persons. They gave me a fine notice and sent me on my way at the toll. Apparently they don't take debit cards. They are either really slow or just don't care sometimes, because they still haven't charged me for it. I even notified the car rental company because they say you should do that when you rent a vehicle, and they told me to clear it up with the city first. I tried, they said try again later when we register your violation. I never did. They never charged. Works for me.

I got back to Mass at midnight. It took me three flights and who knows how many hours. I don't feel like bothering since I have to remember what time I left and factor in the time difference. My lovely girlfriend greeted me, looking hot and supplying a late-night McDonald's dinner. What a treat. The Greatest Adventure ended and I had several days before I set off on my next road trip adventure. The West Virginia Lull.

Seattle

2008-06-19T01:09:00.001+08:00

After a delicious breakfast of eggs, hash browns, and sausage, all topped with biscuits and gravy, we headed west to Seattle. This would be a long drive through Montana’s endless rancher land, Idaho’s mountainous north, and a patch of Washington that resembled sunny California. One highlight along the way was Wallace, Idaho. This is a small silver mining town in that northern bit of Idaho that juts out between Montana and Washington. We got some pizza in a classic sports oriented pizzeria. Very reminiscent of my little league days down in Orange County. Another highlight would have to be the rest stop experience off the freeway in eastern Washington. We all really had to go, but the bathroom was occupied for quite some time. A man outside wasn’t shy to warn us that his “youngest” was in there with some violent diarrhea. We all proceeded to pee behind the gas station one at a time in some bushes. Entering Washington from Idaho and Montana was like going into a whole new world. The roads seemed to be cluttered with vehicles as soon as we crossed that state line. That didn’t change all the way across state into Seattle. The landscape did, on the other hand. After passing through a national forest, Washington had changed from sunny grasslands to lakes and mountains with lush greenery.

We arrived at Big Yutes’ frat house just before dusk. He took us out to Chipotle, where we enjoyed some damn good burritos. We then went to QFC and picked up some Bud Lights for beer pong. We met some of Big Yute’s frat brothers while playing beer pong. We chilled in Yutes’ room later with some more beers and movies. I was lucky and passed out on the couch, while J-Mo and Z had to share the floor. Upon waking up, I discovered that my laptop was covered in water, along with the suitcase it was resting on top of, and the floor around it. The culprit, unknown. Perhaps if I had gotten to the laptop early on, it would have been saved. The fact that it was soaking all night destroyed its insides. I was bummed, but I wouldn’t let it ruin my time in Seattle.

We went out that afternoon for some Hawaiian barbeque. This was essentially a fusion of Asian and Hawaiian food. I got the tonkatsu with a side of home-made kimchi. Pretty delicious stuff. That night we decided to take it easy. We got some take out and rented Swingers. We ended up passing out to some Disney channel. I was on the couch again. Comfy couch.

We decided on Ihop for lunch the next day. We went around 3pm, so the place was virtually empty. This provided a quiet environment for us to eavesdrop on our waitress shouting orders and babble to the Mexican cooks in the back. “…one spinach omelet, one order of crepes, mucho loco people out there! No, Jose! Mucho knives! I need mucho knives! No, you’re not loco, you’re bueno, people out there loco!” She didn’t seem to realize that we could hear everything. When we were paying the bill, a man across the diner was talking on the phone. We could also hear everything the person on the other line was saying. “Can you hear me?” Our waitress mumbles, “I can hear you from all the way over here…” A perfect opportunity to bust a “mucho loco” line on her.

We watched the NBA finals that night, along with some Mickey’s 40 oz. beers. This, along with the Ihop had me feeling queasy. Big Yutes had some studying to do that night, so his frat brother, Calvin, took us out that night. We went to various UW area bars. Played some darts. Drank some Ranier beers. The more beer I drank, the more sick I felt. I finally decided to just puke it out in the bathroom. The bartender kindly gave me some water, telling me not to puke out here. I went in, did my business, some peeing onlookers cheered me on. There were curtains instead of stalls, so it wasn’t too private. After seeing my spinach omelet with pancakes in the toilet, I started feeling hungry. We went outside to the Wing Zone and got us a big order. We ate these wings in the parking lot like it was an Oz style gang rape. Just devoured them. We headed back to the frat after that, and passed out. I shared the floor with J-Mo this time.

We got up late again the next day, and headed out for some food. We hit up a burger joint that had some rude waitresses. I won’t say any names. Let’s just say they got less than 5% for their poor service. That’s how real g’s send a message. We went back to Blockbuster after that and got another Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn classic, Made, as well as that new Jumper flick. Some of the guys weren’t so sure about Made, but I love that movie. We all agreed that Jumper sucked big time though. Who the hell put that movie together? What a mess. We ended up watching Casino Royale from Big Yute’s DVD collection as well. Best Bond flick in my opinion. In fact, it’s the only one I really like.

We prepared for bed this time. J-Mo and I had to get up early the next morning to drive back down to the Bay area. J-Mo generously let me have the couch again, even though it was his turn. I would be the one to drive the first half of the trip, he took note of. Thanks J-Mo. We got up early that morning and headed out. Z stayed behind. He was starting his career in Washington in just a few days. I’d post that group photo we took right before we left, but Z hasn’t put it up yet.

Yellowstone

2008-06-18T01:32:00.001+08:00

I checked the June weather conditions for Yellowstone back in early May. It seemed like it’d be warm enough. Warm enough, where I’d pack a light hoody as my warmest garment for the trip. I should have at least felt some trepidation when we drove through a patch of Utah that was like Western Massachusetts in February. No, I was pretty carefree as usual. I should have known better.

Weather elsewhere along the way was mild. The worst we saw as we entered Wyoming was some chilly wind. We stopped in a sports bar in Evanston for some dinner. Upon chatting with another traveler while we simultaneously pissed in urinals, separate of course with the little blinder divider, I discovered that Yellowstone had been closed a week earlier. He had tried to go up himself, but was turned away at the gate. Then the trepidation began.

We crossed the highway and entered one of Evanston’s local hotels. A young front desk employee, who must have been 15 years old, was helpful in giving us the weather conditions hot line for Yellowstone, while occasionally shouting at the television where Fox News flashed images of terrorists with their noses drawn too big on court room portraits.

The hotline automated answer set me at ease just a notch. It seemed only some highways north of Yellowstone up in Montana were closed…due to snow. Meaning it very well might be snowing in Yellowstone. But how bad could it be, right? We were already in Wyoming and the weather was just a little brisk.

The drive continued along the Wyoming, Utah, and Idaho borders. We finally arrived in a town roughly 30 miles outside of the Grand Tetons National Park. We stocked up on the food we’d need for the four night camping experience we were about to endure. We got the works too; hot dogs, bacon, eggs, marshmallows, Hershey bars, gram crackers, and plenty of canned beans to make us flatulent for weeks.

When we got to the Grand Tetons National Park, I informed J-Mo and Z that I had no idea where to camp and that I made no reservations. Luckily Z was corresponding with his girlfriend in Japan, and she found us a place to camp. It took us a while, but we finally navigated our way to the campsite and started setting up. The place was wet and dark. We were uncomfortable already. We were also too fatigued from the long hours on the road to even set up a fire, so we just hit the sack. The cold, cold sack.

The next morning Z woke up a little early, and noticed a ticket on the picknick table in our campsite. We had to pay for staying the night. We thought we might get away with it for coming late. It happened while entering both Grand Canyon and Grand Teton parks too late. No entrance fees for them, why not skip out on camping fees.

Z paid the fee and came back, waking up J-Mo and I. We woke up to rain. Really cold rain. The kind of rain that’s so cold you just wish it was snow. We disassembled the tent and packed up the vehicle. Our hands were numb. We huddled in the car, warming our paws on the heating vents. Then I noticed the radio was on. Except it was on channel 152. I wasn’t aware AM radio went that low. Ah, no, Z had discovered that we had Sirius satellite radio. And he was listening to some classic conservative talk radio by some guy named Joe Patriot or something.

The three of us went in to a park restaurant for some breakfast. It was raining and all the wood in our campsite was soaked, so no fire again. The restaurant provided a nice warm escape though. That, along with pleasant service, gave us a nice start to the day. She gave me a free bowl of soup and took care of David’s burnt french fries. I think the cooks decided to pick on us when they saw my Boston hoody. Luckily the waitress was on our side.

I’ve mentioned how cold we were several times already, and I’d like to note that by we, I mean me and J-Mo. Z had brought all of his stuff with him in preparation for moving to Washington, so he wasn’t short in the warm clothes department. Hence, J-Mo and I proceeded to buy warming accessories such as hats and gloves.

After viewing the Grand Tetons from a distance, we headed on over to the visitors center, where a burly young park ranger gave us some advice. The man looked like he could wrestle a grizzly. He gave us a map of the park, and directed us to the entrance of Yellowstone.

As we drove further north into Yellowstone, the weather conditions continued to look bleaker. After paying a park fee to get in (shucks), and talking to another friendly park ranger (an older fellow with a warm smile), we continued further north into the park to find a campsite. That’s when it got bad. We were bombarded with snow. Our campsite was flooded and covered in snow. We decided to set up the tent later. First, we’d head over to Old Faithful.

The Old Faithful geyser is supposed to go off every hour and a half or so. We waited in the biggest log cabin in the world and sipped some brew. When it was time for Old Faithful to go off, we headed out. They say give or take ten minutes, so we naturally went out ten minutes early. It was snowing, it was windy, and just plain freezing. On top of that, we ended up waiting about 25 minutes for Old Faithful to go off. It seemed like Old Faithful was loosing it. The clouds were so low we couldn’t even see the top of the water blast. What a way to start out in Yellowstone.

We ventured back on the snowy roads to our campsite. The weather seemed to be letting up. Our campsite was still flooded though, so we strategically moved over to the one next door that looked much better, and prepared to tell any camper who might have reserved that site that we were just confused. We set up the tent, unpacked our camping gear, and began to build a fire. The campsite looked better than the others, but the fire pit was still flooded. David and I managed to set one up anyway, with the help of some lighter fluid. It took about an hour of tending to get it going, mainly due to the light rain that was coming down. Then the sun finally came out. The fire began to blaze, and we began to cook. Also had to bust out the local beer we bought. We stood around the fire for hours enjoying hot dogs and canned beans, then we went to bed and were cold like the night before, meaning J-Mo and I were cold. I’m sure Z was fine.

The next day would be more productive than the day before. We got up early and headed further north where it might be colder, but the ground was thermal. We got our campsite, then explored the thermal grounds. The whole time I was hoping we could go for a dip, onsen style, but we weren’t even allowed off the wooden deck trail because the ground is supposed to be dangerous.

We then headed east to explore more of the park. Along the way we met sporadic snow flurries and occasional animal sightings. Plenty of bison and elk to go around. We discovered a backcountry trail that went to a “hidden lake.” We set out on the muddy trail and noticed an eaten bison along the way. This was definitely bear country. We then crossed paths with an old couple. They hadn’t been eaten, so it must have been fine to journey on. We found the hidden lake, dicked around for a bit while we enjoyed the scenery, and then we saw something peculiar. It was a white mass getting closer and closer to us. It was coming from the trail we were to head back down. It was a snowstorm.

What was a pleasant and sunny walk to the lake turned into a snowy and treacherous walk back. It was like we had entered a different world. By the time we got back to the eaten buffalo, the snow had passed on. The sun came back out, but we were soaked. The thing to do now was to build a fire back at camp. I saw something black out of the corner of my eye on our way back. A black bear. We stopped to go see it. Then a couple cars behind us immediately stopped to see what we were looking at. Soon enough nearly a dozen cars were pulled over. I was creeping over this hill, looking for the bear. I walked with caution, completely aware that I could look over the hill and the bear could pop out right in front of me. I didn’t care, I wanted the picture. The bear ended up being somewhat far away. I saw him, then he turned and looked at me. I froze with terror for a few seconds, then he looked away and kept moving. Luckily his attention was directed at the other on-lookers.

We were still wet, so we headed on back to camp and bought the firewood. We built a glorious fire. It warmed me and dried me. We had more beers and more hot dogs. We even combined a bunch of our canned goods to make a deadly stew of beans. More beer was enjoyed and stories were shared. This is what camping is all about. Plus, we were warm. I don’t know if it was the thermal ground or the fleece I stole from Z, I was warm that night when we went to bed.

Since the weather conditions seemed like they weren’t going to get much better, we chose not to stay the fourth night, and just headed over to Seattle. We exited Yellowstone through it’s northern gate, into Montana. We got a hearty breakfast at a diner, apparently owned by the guy who owns the Atlanta Falcons. The man must love Montana. I can see why too. It’s beautiful. Rolling hills and big sky. Open country as far as the eye can see. Plenty of eye candy for the drive west.

Las Vegas

2008-06-17T02:11:00.002+08:00

Vegas was good times. We arrived at the hotel in the early evening. We got showered and cleaned up, I updated the blog, we started making plans. J-Mo’s girlfriend, who I will call Chloe, was coming down to Vegas that night with a friend of her’s. We decided to get some food before they arrived. What better way to do that than hit up a classic casino buffet.

When one closes their hotel room door, it’s supposed to lock. Our’s didn’t. We asked the young man at the front desk about it, and he recommended we put the padlock on. Except we wanted to leave our room, so this of course would not work out. Then he recommended we just take another room. We asked for one facing the pool. He responded, “all the rooms face the pool…uh…except the ones available.” We then realized that only 1/3 of the rooms actually face the pool. We got the new room. Found that the internet didn’t work in it. No use though. The guy at the front desk would have us change rooms again if we wanted that fixed.

We went to the Monte Carlo for what we thought was going to be a $15 buffet, but turned out to be a $20 buffet. Shame to the gal who told us otherwise. We filled up pretty fast at the buffet, and headed back to the hotel, where we were to meet Chloe and her friend. We picked up some booze along the way to pre-game in the hotel room before going out. Vodka and iced tea. I’m telling you, that’s where it’s at. That got us nice and drunk before hitting up the Venetian. Except, when we got there, they wouldn’t let us in the nightclub because Z and J-Mo were wearing tennis shoes. Shame. We gambled a little. Some of us won some cash. We had some laughs. It was all around fun, even though we didn’t get to hit up the club.

I woke up the next afternoon still feeling drunk. Z and I watched some Cops while we waited for J-Mo to return from his gf’s hotel. We were planning on hitting up a pool that afternoon. Our hotel’s pool was pretty puny, so Chloe recommended we go to a bigger casino, even though we weren’t guests. It ended up raining on us, so all the pools closed anyway. We got an overpriced lunch at Planet Hollywood (but at least we got a free appetizer), then we headed on over to Chloe’s hotel, the Sahara, and swam in their pool. After a brisk swim and a short while in the hot tub, we headed home to get cleaned up for the night. We went to the Luxor to see if we could get in to another club, but again, those tennis shoes kept us out. We had to wake up early the next morning anyway.

We got up early as planned and raided the hotel breakfast buffet. We got the car packed up. I headed back into the buffet a few more times for some more snackage supplies, then we hit the road for Yellowstone.

Grand Canyon, Kicks on Route 66, & Driving to Vegas

2008-06-04T10:14:00.001+08:00

We woke up around 8:30am and had a quick breakfast. After disassembling the tent, we hit up the sites. The Grand Canyon is pretty breathtaking. The pictures won’t do it justice. After seeing enough canyon, we set out for Vegas. After getting back on I-40, we decided to take Historic Route-66 as far as we could. What a great highway. Practically no one was on it besides us, a handful of truckers, and the occasional group of bikers. Bringing it up to 100mph was no problem. We stopped in the town on Ashfork for some lunch at the Ranch House café. Had me the green chili cheese burger, which was just a cheeseburger with a big cooked green chili on top.

After a nice ride on Route-66, we arrived at a police checkpoint. They must have been checking for drug smugglers headed to Vegas. They let us on through, which was nice. Shortly thereafter, we got to the Hoover Dam. Unfortunately, parking there is seven dollars, so we decided to see what we could without doing that. We arrived in Vegas shortly after that, and are just chilling in the hotel room. Big ups to my girl Jess for getting us this room.

Driving To The Grand Canyon

2008-06-04T10:00:00.002+08:00

David and I hit the road around 6am. We ventured on up to the Golden Gate Bridge and into George Lucas territory to pick up Jason. His family treated us to a lovely breakfast, then we packed up and started the long haul down to Arizona. I was blown away by the gorgeous countryside all the way down California.

Stopped for lunch at Del Taco in Tehachapi, a small country town 115 miles north of LA. Haven’t had Del Taco since I was 7 or 8 years old. Tastes like Taco Bell. We ventured further inland. The rolling hills that had stretched from San Francisco had turned into barren desert by the time we hit I-40.

We didn’t get to the Grand Canyon until after 8pm. Nobody was manning the gate while we pulled into the park, so no park fee. To top it off, we camped for free a quarter of a mile off of highway 64 inside the park. Setting up camp in the dark is no easy task, especially when you only have one flashlight with moderate battery power. We managed to get the tent up, then built a fire pit. The vegetation was so dry, we could have burned the whole forest down if we were careless with the pit. The fire blazed for about an hour. We put our cans of chili by the fire to heat them up. Perhaps this wasn’t the best dining choice. It led to some killer flatulence in the tent, which I could have sworn was going to kill us by morning.

Flights Back In Time & San Francisco

2008-06-04T09:58:00.001+08:00

I set my alarm for 3am. Hit the road at 4:15. Arrived at Hartford’s Bradley Airport at 5am as expected. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any sleep the night before, so setting my alarm turned out to be futile. Check-in went smoothly. I was smart enough to weigh my bag while waiting in line, finding my baggage was six pounds over the limit, which would cost me one hundred dollars. Lucky for me I packed a backpack, which I transferred Silk Market brand Adidas tennis shoes (a rare size 12 too), vitamins, Advil, my cat’s favorite toy (my flashlight), and my Wilderness Adventure at Eagle Landing nalgene; all of which ended up weighing 5.5 pounds, leaving my baggage to be 0.5 under the penalized weight. This of course saved me from the embarrassment of re-opening my baggage for strategic transference of stuff into my backpack, while impatient passengers waited behind me.

The aircraft from Hartford to DC was rather small. I shared a small space to my right with Liuxu, a Wesleyan grad student hailing from Beijing (which she later admitted to being from a town in Hebei). She was on her way to a neural-science convention in Monterey that applied to her master’s study of neural-science, which in turn made my Chinese studies BA feel somewhat useless. To my left were two middle-aged men whose lives clearly revolved around football. One of these gentlemen was fully clad in Oakland Raiders gear. He had a bit of a time getting a box of his into the over-head compartment. Although the box clearly didn’t fit, he meat-headedly slammed the compartment door over and over again, damaging the box little by little each time, until it finally gave way. The man’s face didn’t flinch while slamming the door 19 times consecutively. His neck, which must have been two feet wide, didn’t pop one vein. I didn’t get a good look at his travel companion, but upon getting off the plane, I notice he was clearly a Ravens fan, and his neck must have been at least a foot wider than the Raiders fan.

The next flight wasn’t nearly as exciting, although the sports fans happened to be on it, damaged box and all. I swear their necks grew another few inches in width since I last saw them, overwhelming their cartoonishly block shaped heads a la that Batman cartoon from the early nineties. Upon arriving in San Francisco, I retrieved my baggage and headed to the rental car center. Of course a bunch of charges were added on to the rental, tripling what we had originally expected.

San Francisco has been good to us. After picking David up, we headed on over to Mikey’s place. We were greeted with warm hospitality, plenty of fried eggs and Vienna sausages on white rice to go around, which later turned to Coronas with lime. We got the royal tour of the city. Saw so many head shops, it’s amazing how they all stay in business. I guess Frisco is just that kind of city. The hippie culture in the city has clearly turned into a commercial industry thriving on that hippie image, which ironically contradicts the whole movement that emerged in the 1960’s. It’s all good fun though.

We made a late night run to Inn n’ Out Burger. Good, good burgers. But afterwards we had to hit the sack. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time for a game of beer pong that was discussed earlier. After all, we had to wake up at 5am to hit the road. San Fran has been good, and our time here seems cut short. Sorry I didn’t take any photos.

Chang of Plan

2008-05-10T06:12:00.002+08:00

It seemed like every night I got in bed I thought about the trip and how daunting the drive back east would be. I mean, if Sus_Stylz were to join, things would be different. I'd have a driving partner that whole way. But driving solo from San Fran to Lexington...three consecutive 12-hour-drives with no company. Perhaps if I got a CB radio and a cool and original handle to call myself, it could be bearable. After many nights of contemplation and consultation, and more importantly, the fortune cookie I opened the other day that told me to "trust my intuition," lead me to can this plan. I couldn't do away with the road trip entirely though. For real, I got another fortune that told me, "traveling this year will bring your life into greater perspective."

Z's original proposal for the road trip consisted of flying out west, renting a car, and doing a big loop. This is exactly what we'll be doing starting June 1st. Starting in San Francisco, the plan will go as before, but end in San Francisco. No more sight-seeing in South Dakota, no more visit to Kentucky and West Virginia for me. I'll have to do the family visits later this summer. As for South Dakota, I have no idea when I'll see you. Damn, I really wanted to go there.

Casey, thanks for all of your help, but we'll no longer need lodging in Wisconsin.

Mental Preparation

2008-05-05T03:05:00.001+08:00

It looks like the trip is planned and on track. I've been contemplating how difficult it could prove to be considering all of the miles we plan to cover. Driving back solo from the west coast out east is at the top of my worries, as is leaving my girlfriend for several weeks. Other worries that come to mind are car accidents and full campsites. Maybe even flash floods in the desert.

Funny how I've been all over the world, done some of the craziest adventures in some wild parts of China and never flinched, but this road trip in super civilized America makes me worried. Funny how I've relied on crazy illegit taxi drivers with leprosy to drive me across government closed mountain passes in Sichuan province, but I'm still more worried about the boredom, fatigue, and frustration I might face driving back east by myself.

I guess all of this uneasiness is helping me mentally prepare for the adventure. We're doing this no matter what. We'll never have this opportunity again. It also came to my attention that my companions have girlfriends too, so we'll be in that boat together. If anything, it'll add to the bonding experience. I could always get some book-on-ipod for the journey back east too.

All I really need right now is some inspiration to get over this foreboding feeling. Watching "Into The Wild" yesterday got me in an adventurous mood. So what other movies would get me ready?

"Road Trip" comes to mind simply for the title, but that movie will not get me pumped for this trip at all. Neither will that shitty movie "Overnight Delivery" that "Road Trip" ripped off. I'm thinking "The Straight Story." You know, the really boring movie where the old man rides a really slow tractor across state lines.

Maybe "Coupe de Ville" as well. The one with the three wise-ass brothers that drive a coupe de ville cross country and argue the entire time while listening to "Louie Louie." I haven't seen that movie since I was 8 years old, but I recall my brother saying it was prophetic of me and my brothers doing a road trip and arguing the entire time. Good thing I recently downloaded that "Louie Louie" song. I hope we'll argue a bit about what the lyrics actually are.

I can't forget "Pee-wee's Big Adventure." I think this movie set the tone for how I imagine road trips out west. I mean, if we could piss off a bunch bikers and then redeem ourselves by dancing to "Tequila," I could die a happy man.

"Dumb And Dumber" is another road trip classic. All of those scenes of them driving through the corn covered mid-west have set a tone. Can't wait to hit up some of those American road-side diners too.

I think there's some road trip fantasies from "Detroit Rock City" that I definitely need to fulfill. Too bad it's not the 70's.

Please leave a comment if you have any recommendations.

*EDIT*

How could I forget "Wild At Heart." Endless road trip moments from that film. It's kind of a shame we're not stopping in Big Tuna, Texas.

Prior Experience & Lessons Learned

2008-04-23T04:15:00.001+08:00

Me, Z, Sus_Stylz, and Big Yutes had a spring break adventure down south about two years ago. This was the first non-family road trip I had done. A great developmental experience every young person should do. And in our case, a great learning experience.

We had visions of grandeur. Crowded beaches full of spring break honey's, southern belles pouring us ice-cold lemonade on the front porch, etc.

The only thing I knew about Myrtle Beach came from the spicy anecdotes my cousin told me some years back. We didn't look any further when choosing it as our spring break destination.

After weeks of planning, the trip materialized and I went down to Ithaca and met up with Z for a greasy meal at Friendly's. We drove down to Newark and picked up Sus_Sytlz and Big Yutes at the airport, then drove down to DC and met up with J-Mo. Had some Chipotle burritos and a healthy game of Wall Ball (also known as Butts Up). In Sus_Stylz' case, it was definitely a game of Nuts Up.

Later that night we went to my house on the eastern shore of the Chesapeake Bay. It was relaxing as usual. Good food, Oz marathons, and those gorgeous eastern shore sunsets.

From there, we embarked on down the eastern shore and on to the Chesapeake bridge/tunnel to Virginia. Saw some of Virginia's finest cities, including the one with "That" Booker T. Washington high school and "That Linen Shop." Seemed to be this place's mantra. Add "that" in front of everything in town. Shame we didn't get any pictures.

One lesson learned from going down to Myrtle Beach via Maryland: it takes forever if you don't get on I-95. The view on and around the bridge was spectacular, but it must have taken us 12-14 hours to drive all the way down. And after getting to Myrtle Beach, our visions of grandeur didn't live up to what Myrtle Beach had to offer in mid-March. Take this photo for instance.

Cold, gray, and empty beaches. Besides these squatting wankers, only a few old people took to them. The hotel was virtually empty too. We did end up making some friends though. There was another group of vacationers getting totally loaded. We hung out with them in the hot tub one afternoon. They told us we could meet them in their room later. After doing so that night, they had no recollection of us ever being in the hot tub. Yeah, they were that loaded. They joined us in our room later for some drinks, which ended up being a lot of fun.

So the lesson learned here is don't go to Myrtle beach for spring break. But if you do, making new friends is the key to having a real adventure. And if you're under 21 and ask your new over 21 friends to buy you beer, don't let them drink in your car on the way to the liquor store.

We ran into some more mis-haps on our way back. We got pulled over for speeding in North Carolina. Sure, we were going as fast as anyone else in the fast lane, but that cop must have spotted my Massachusetts license plate. He nailed me hard too. Made it impossible to just pay a fine and move on. He demanded I be in court on May 15, a day after I had an exam up in Massachusetts. Unforgivable.

Sus_Stylz and Big Yutes also had to catch their flights home via Newark. We had some close calls going up I-95, but got them to their flights okay in the end.

All in all, the lesson learned is that things aren't always going to go as planned. This upcoming road trip is longer than the last and will no doubt end up being much different than how we see it now. Mis-haps on the journey are what makes these trips so memorable and full of adventure. Just no car trouble please.

Planning

2008-04-23T02:47:00.002+08:00

Spring, 2000: a group of ninth grade boys were planning the greatest American road trip. It was going to be amazing. We were going to circle around the continental United States, hitting all the spots: San Francisco, Grand Canyon, New Orleans, Savannah, New York, Chicago, Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone, and Baker City, Oregon of course. Brian Lehon even made this here map.

We went to Shanghai instead.

Don't get me wrong, Shanghai was a great adventure itself, albeit much more accommodating to the spoiled expat kid kind of life. But now, another four years later, we're actually planning on doing this road trip. It's not as ambitious as the Brian Lehon plan of 2000, nor does it even include Brian (unless he's down to meet up with us in Cali). Many of the destinations have been omitted. This is predominantly an "out west" trip.

So here's the plan as of now. I embark out of Amherst and head on over to Ithaca to meet Z. I'm expecting a warm welcome which will hopefully include a trip to Friendly's. We then head out the next morning to Chicago. I'm hoping that Sus_Stylz will join us from there. Otherwise, it's just me and Z driving all the way to San Francisco. Of course we'll hit up some sights on the way. South Dakota has a lot to offer. Mt. Rushmore is a must. I'd also like to see Deadwood and the Black Hills, not to mention the Badlands. I don't see another opportunity for this in my future. Seeing that Sus_Stylz may not join us, there's going to be a lot of time and driving spent between just me and Z. I'm hoping to avoid any Smith college style girl drama on the long road to S.F. You know what I'm talking about.

We plan to get to S.F. on June 2nd. The day after J-Mo arrives back from Japan. We rendevouz with him and Money, then head on down Southwest to Vegas and the Grand Canyon. We have our adventures, very bad things may happen, then Money heads on back to S.F. on his own due to prior obligations. The rest of us head on up to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons. Then we depart for Baker City, Oregon. For some reason this place is taking precedence over other locations in all of our plans. After we see all there is to see in Baker City, we journey up to Seattle. Big Yutes will imminently be graduating from UW, so lots of partying is to be expected. Meanwhile, Z has duties to be carried out in Washington, so we'll leave him to it and head back down to the Bay.

Now if Sus_Stylz can't make it, I have to drive all the way back east by myself. But before I head back home, I'll take a much needed visit in the Appalachians. Going to see my brother in Kentucky and some relatives in West Virginia. I'm looking forward to that country meal at Kirk's.

All in all, my car is expected to see about 10,000 miles in three weeks on this trip alone. Although not as grand as the Brian Lehon plan of 2000, this trip remains very ambitious due to the rising price of fuel. All budgeting is being worked out and will solely rely on the pocket money I get from UMass kids I deliver Chinese food to. Thank you Umass kids.